Mumsnet Talk

Hi all.

So busy here, work mainly, have another lesson obs next week as only got satisfactory despite having over half of the elements graded as outstanding, so really fed up with work at the moment. Would rather be at home, with William, doing the school run every day. I feel DD and I hardly see each other on my work days and I have to get her to do homework every evening, which is not until after 6pm on a work day by which time she is tired and grumpy and throws a strop if she makes a mistake. I really value our Friday afternoon tea and cake sessions which are just for us.

Loopy - sorry you're feeling so low. Can your HV or GP speak with DH to help him understand? I think men like to think of people a bit like cars - there must be something to fix, a clear-cut solution to every problem and it frustrates them when they can't work it out. We're here as long as you need us xx

Greedy - congrats on the exam pass!

LOM - sounds a bit like an Eastenders New Year. Hope it wasn't too awful.

RG - how were the muffins? They looked fab on facebook.

Unless i have missed something it was me and my out-laws scrapping Jetgirl - LOM is far too sophisticated for all that jazz! It was horrible but all done now. Clash of parenting styles! Apparently me and my SIL are "hands-on" parents and shouldn't judge my BIL who is "hands-off". I do judge him because hands off translates as do nowt and me and SIL were pissed off at being left to do everything! Uh-oh, I am having a flashback!

Sorry that your lesson ob was ridiculously graded, very disheartening. I really don't know if I want to be a teacher anymore, workload massive at the moment and I don't get paid very well, being an FE teacher.

P.S. Loopy? How are you? Same?

Meh. Trapped

Love family bust up stories . Families, eh?! Who'd have them?!

Greedy - am clearly losing the plot! I know what you mean about being a teacher. AT the moment I love teaching, but I don't like being a teacher with all the stuff it entails. SPent an hour analysing data last week, which told me what I already knew about the students. Got 7 classes of data to analyse next week and I know it will take me several hours. Off to work in a bit. This is so sad! I would have been on your side in that clash!

And the award for worst parent of the day goes to me.

DD has had a wobbly front tooth for a couple of months which has refused to come out. This morning she was throwing a strop about going to gymnastics and wouldn't put her clothes on. As I got up to leave her room, she threw herself at me, her head caught me knee and out came the tooth!
That's right, I kneed my own daughter in the face, knocking out her tooth! Fortunately , as it was so wobbly, there wasn't much blood.
She has forgiven me now, but we did have tears for a bit. Apparently the tooth fairy pays more if the tooth has come out in a violent way.

The rest of the day was better for all concerned, fortunately!

I have to say it sounds pretty accidental . I managed to pretty much rip one of DD2s teeth out not so long back. Hope the tooth fairy isn't bankrupt!

One of my friends is a teacher (primary) who was made redundant in the summer, she is now considering going back as a TA because of all the additional crap that goes with teaching now. So you have my sympathies

Think that was totally an accident Jetgirl but I can understand the guilt trip! Poor you and poor DD. Glad that the day got better. The whole getting dressed thing drives me a bit bonkers. I am very strict about Adam getting dressed before anything else happens if we need to be out but it is amazing how many different things a 4 yo can find to do rather than put on a pair of pants. Grrrrr.

Loopy - not sure I would like to be a TA either! Not so much stress in some respects but crapola wages. I would love to have a decent TA in my class though and I guess another teacher would make a great one.

HAd a lovely and unexpected treat of seeing an old friend from uni yesterday over a long and lazy brunch in Leeds. Back to park etc. today!

No dressing up before school
No make up before school (yes, I know)
Get dressed before going downstairs
Do not go back upstairs once down
No playing hairdressers before school......

You get the gist. Seems like getting out of the house is a mission for us all!

Hi everyone Have been very slack in posting lately - apologies.

Loopy - so glad you have got a good HV and GP. Thinking of you and hope that you can gradually get back to a brighter place. Surround yourself with good friends and good company

When DD and i have cuddles she keeps saying "I love you so much mummy i dont ever want you to die" I tell her that i'm not going anywhere and she says "but when you're really old you'll go up into the sky" and then gets all upset! I haven't told her anything about death - as far as she knew, our cat went to the live with the vet because she was poorly living at home (she was put to sleep). I think MIL has been talking about going up to the sky etc when you die in a casual way when DD asks where (old & dead) members of the family are. Erk! I know it's a natural progression of growing up but it's not very nice to hear her talking about death at 4 years old!!

Loopy - we have the same sort of rules. If I let DD eat in her pjs she thinks it's a nice relaxed leisurely mealtime so I have timechecks to keep her on track. Dressed by 7:45, Eating breakfast by 8. Do hair while eating breakfast, brush teeth, out the door at 8:30. Funnily enought, this morning was not one of those mornings. DD was still in her underwear at 7:50 which stressed me out somewhat, but somehow we managed to get out of the house on time!

RG - I think it's natural for them to be talking about death, and strangely, they do it better than some adults! Both DD and William have attended funerals of great-grandparents and seem to understand what's going on. Not that they like the idea of death very much, but I was always raised with it not being a taboo subject, which helps I think. It's sad when they realise some day you're not going to be there though.

One of my tutor group suffered a bereavment last week - a younger cousin died, so it's hit her pretty hard. She was back in yesterday and one the year 11 boys was brilliant - went and spoke to her, checked she was ok, offered support. Such compassion from one so young was quite moving, and I was so proud of him.

I'm feeling really down about work at the moment. I had a lesson obs yesterday, my line manager gave me feedback saying how outstanding the planning was, how she and the member of SLT kept saying progress was good, I used outstanding techniques and I was all ready for her to grade it as good with outstanding features when she said it was satisfactory as I didn't get to the plenary. But what she and SLT had failed to note, was that they were seeing the first part of a double lesson and I gave them the plan for the full double - as she had told me to! So they hadn't realised that they had misread the lesson plan. I was so upset I was near tears. I told her to go back and look at it again in light of what I had pointed out to her, but I'm not holding out any hope. I ended up with a stinking migraine last night too

So, is it awful, that I'm frantically checking William for chickenpox as his best friend has developed it in the last couple of days, and they spend a lot of time together? I just don't want to go to work for a few days, I feel so deflated.

The other option is the baby option (though that's less immediate, obviously!) - DH saw my friend's baby yesterday and said 'I want one, can we have one?' So if we buy a bigger house in the next few months, it might be a reality!

Off to have fun with William now, and remind myself what makes me happy

Oh Jetgirl that is rubbish! Glad you told them to look at it again and fingers crossed for you. It is horrible when you are looking for valid reasons not to be in work. Adam was a bit hot and bothered the other day - only a cold but a real stinker - and I was thinking I might get a day off out it! But he was full of beans in the morning and a good thing too I suppose because they never buy in cover staff at our college so all the teachers are just expected to cover for each other and everyone is so stressed at the moment.

Hi RG. My DS has been asking when he is going to die ! I just say when he is really, really, really old but he would prefer me to be more specific! Must be an age/stage thing.

Any light at the end of the tunnel Loopy?

Lots of death convos in our house too!! Led usually by the older ones.

Light? Not sure. Am back from the edge ATM, but it is still pretty close. I'm awful to my children and am wrecking so many lives, if I wasn't here DH could find himself some nice fluffy bunny he actually likes who would look after the girls for me. Have had a marginally improved couple of days, but pretty done in again today.

Oh no Loopy! You are not wrecking lives! Would your DH really want a soft, fluffy bunny?! What use would they be with four feisty girls? None of us are perfect mums and I am sure it is extra shitty with your depression but you got better before and you will again and the girls are probably more resilient than you think (due to your fab parenting!). Are the eldest old enough to understand bits of what is going on? Is your HV being useful?

Loopy - I agree with Greedy, there is no way you are wrecking lives. There are lots of people supporting you and with you as you go through this. Hopefully you still have my number - in the great destruction of my phone by William I'm afraid I lost yours, but please text me when you need to. DH has been asking after you too. An awful lot of people care very deeply for you.

I have to say I don't know much about depression, so I'll probably sound very naive here, but is there any way you can think of one good thing that has happened each day to help you through? It doesn't have to be anything you've done, or your girls or your DH has done, just something that makes you smile. I don't know, I'm probably talking out of my backside, tbh!

Sorry. I wasn't fishing for compliments. It's just how I feel right now. I do still have your number, yes, so will text later so you have mine once more. Sorry

Nah I didn't think you were fishing for compliments - quite the opposite. It just gave me a fright to hear you talking like that but I know it is the depression and you should be able to say how you are feeling on here without prettifying it.

I think we need a cake emoticon, so we can share some cake here.
We would much rather hear from you about how you are feeling, than not hear from you at all and worry that you are feeling alone. And never apologise for any of it! It is not your fault.

Ooh yum, can it be the Waitrose chocolate gerbera cake please?!

Youngest has horrible snotty nose, so last night I had 9, hour to settle, midnight, one, three, four, half four, sniffle on and off for an hour, give up at half five. Don't do it, jet!! Except she is of course utterly gorgeous.... Currently sat beside me playing favourite game - ripping up tissue paper

Tentatively a little more OK today... Mon and tue were better days, which I presume is meds kicking in at last. Wed and thu definitely less good. Saw GP yesterday but we didn't click. Have seen two, so will prob try and see the other one as I think I should talk about this week

Bookmarking before I lose you all

OMG that cake sounds fabulous!

Hope you find a GP you can talk to, I'd recommend mine, but it's a bit of a trek! Sounds like a looooong night last night.

We have an estate agent coming tomorrow to give us an appraisal which is very exciting. We have also found out that DH's employers will lend us an amount which will enable us to buy the kind of house we want in the area we want, which is great, though I think the expense will knock the idea of number 3 on the head. The money we save on nursery fees when William starts school will go towards bigger mortgage payments!

Busy week ahead here - 2 parents' evenings, a lecture and a mock Ofsted inspection. Oh goody, more lesson observations

Hi all. Just a quick hello, I've been doing lots of lurking lately. Seems lots of us are going through it ATM in one way or another.

I had my operation on Fri, it was a bigger deal than originally advertised but I'm recovering and being well looked after.

Loads of love and CAKE !

LOM good to hear from you and to know that you are OK. Thinking about you lots, and wishing you a speedy physical recovery from surgery. We are here for lots of hand holding and cake eating for the next bit....

Jet that is very exciting news . But I do have a feeling number three may not be completely off the cards... They rarely are when you both want them...!

I saw the other GP on Friday and was able to be frank with him. He didn't call the crisis team (phew I think!) as I have my assessment appt today with the therapy team. Dreading that, but needs must.

hi all

LOM glad you are getting lots of support and cake. How are your LOs? My friend has just had some surgery and she is finding it hard not being able to do stuff with her LOs. But needs must. Wishing you a speedy recovery.

Loopy fingers crossed for you today. You sound a tiny-weeny little bit more upbeat. But bloody hell that sounded like a hellish night!

Jetgirl I always think I will look back on my 30s as a time when I just ran from place to place like a headless chicken and wonder how I managed to fit it all in! And I only have one DC! I can't wait for Ofsted to come and for it all to be over for you. It isn't as if teaching is an easy job at the best of times.

Well today I got to work nice and early (birthday weekend meant very little prep done!) only to be called by the nursery who suspected that Adam had chickenpox. He has molluscum (horrible warty things) on the back of his leg and a couple on his torso which they know about so I thought it must be something different. Not so. So i sorted out my lessons, went to pick him up, took him to doctors for second opinion - yep molluscum - back home, zilch achieved apart from extra time with Adam who is full of beans and clearly not unwell. Grrrrrrr! I know people get jumpy about the pox but if he did have it, he would have been infectious for weeks! On the up side I had a bloody lovely weekend, thoroughly spoilt and a night away with DH in a fancy swanky hotel with a bathroom as big as our living room.