Mumsnet Talk

I didn't know which topic to put this in, but I suppose it's a bit of a philosophical question so here goes.

Do you believe in luck? Or do you think people create their own luck?

Why do some people seem to be lucky - they sail through life, they generally get what they want, and not much bad stuff ever happens to them?

And why do other people seem to have unfortunate things happen to them all the time, they really have to fight to get what they want / need in life, and are constantly struggling just to keep their heads above water? Are these just unlucky by chance? Or are they to blame in some way for what happens to them?

Do you consider yourself lucky or unlucky and why?

There's no such think as luck. Or fate. Or destiny.

Shit happens. To good and bad people. Just as great things happen to good and bad people.

There is no greater power deciding what happens to us.

Bad things will not happen to you because you break a mirror. Nor will good things happen if you speak to an imaginary deity in your head before bedtime.

I consider myself incredibly lucky. But I know people 'better off' than me in various ways (health, finances, whatever), who consider themselves to have it really tough. Who use the phrase 'Knowing my luck...' meaning 'it's all bound to go wrong for me'.

And then I know some people who have been dealt a really bad hand in life but who consider themselves blessed.

So it's not just a simple 'good things happen to lucky people' thing.

I think the real trick in life is to recognise the good things that happen and focus on them - to see how lucky it is, how extraordinary, that there is anything here at all - that there is life on this planet. Let alone that there is love, kids, chocolate and comedy gold moments.

I have won small sums of money on the lottery more times than I can count. And I've won a lot more money on the horses than I've lost (I know nothing about horses and bet very rarely). So maybe feeling like I'm lucky makes me lucky... Or maybe it just makes me remember the good things that have happened to me!

I have heard it said that there is no such thing as just being lucky. Luck is where planning meets opportunity; ie being able to spot opportunities, having the foresight to know how to respond to them etc.

I'm not sure I consider myself lucky, but I definitely consider myself blessed.

It annoys me when people right off others' successes by saying 'oh, he / she's so lucky'. Most often, people work hard to have that great job, be able to afford that great house, and have to suffer the sacrifices that go with it.

Some people do seem to sail through life. We rarely know the whole story.

I think some poeple are lucky...my brother always lands on his feet, despite being a spendthrift, whereas my hard working friend is always struggling against something or other that life has thrown her.

hmm
I am a bit of a 'create your own luck' thinker

Many people would look at our family and me and say 'oh you are so lucky - lovely house / area / schools / jobs / kids / business / opportunities etc etc'
I look at it all and think of all the work, effort, money, risks, study, research, agonising decisions etc it took to get here and think how small a part mere luck actually played.
Even when it seems like opportunities have fallen into our laps, a closer look reveals that actually it was networking / doing a good job on a previous project / stopping to chat to someone etc that sparked it, ie a good decision made earlier up the path.

On the other hand we haven't, as a family, suffered any major setbacks that I migth otherwise blame on either bad luck or having made a bad decision somewhere earlier.

Having no regrets is very important, I think.

But what about stuff like ill health, someone v close to you dying, infertility, being involved in an accident?

These are not things that you have much control over, they just to happen to you. Some people have more of there fair share of stuff like this. Have they 'created their own bad luck' and therefore are to blame in some way?

'more of their fair share of stuff like this'

see the thing I take issue with is that there is even such a thing as a 'fair share' in this situation.

there is no fair

stuff like you describe just happens

you are right, there is no control over it

what people do have control over is how they react to it - whether they waste time hating / blaming / wallowing / beating ourselves up, or reconcile themselves to it, get everything positive they can out of it and move on.

eg people like Miggsie's spendthrift brother who seem to shake off all their setbacks and come out on top, vs ones like her mate who get dragged down

You create your own luck, but shit does happen.

<adjusts bum cheeks on fence>

My DH is a 'you make your own luck type' which is fine for him to say - born into a loving, affluent, educated family and sent to one of the top schools in the UK.

I can see that for him 'making his own luck' may come a lttle easier than to a child born to poor/alcoholic/disinterested parents.

He cannot see this at all and I think this shows a lack of understanding. We have agreed to disagree on this one.

I was born to poor, alcoholic and disinterested parents too, luckyblackcat!

I made my own luck by getting the fuck away from them!

There's an apocryphal tale about a golfer who hit a very tricky shot, and got the ball into the hole. Someone in the crowd shouted out "lucky shot" to which the golfer replied: "funny, but the more I practice, the luckier I get"

Some people call it luck, some people call it spotting opportunities. I think a lot depends on how you see things. An optimistic person will consider themselves lucky even when things are going wrong, whereas a pessimistic person may consider themselves unlucky even when things look OK to an outsider.

Me? I'm lucky to be an optimist.

I have pondered this very question quite a lot.

I agree with MrsBadger that some people react better to bad things, or pick themselves up, dust themselves down...(musical note emoticon).

Then there is the point that some people work very hard at being lucky. Although there is the view that you have to be in the right time at the right place, espoused by Malcolm Gladwell - eg Bill Gates would not be so successful if he were just getting into computers today - his computer obsession had to coincide with when it was all kicking off.

But there's no denying that there is random luck. Some people just seem to have some kind of magic dust sprinkled all over their lives, whilst others struggle at every turn.

The word 'luck' is a perversion of the name of the norse god 'loki'. This 'god' used to go around striking people with his powers, people at the time used to do things to appease this god, so the carrying of amulets and such like, you would either get 'good loki' or 'bad loki'.

Of course its a whole load of superstiious crap. I would say that most of what we call luck is a result of our actions, and how we treat people.

We all know that there is a real God that sits in heaven and has a son called Jesus..Amen

There are some things in life that I can influence which might or might not turn out good or bad. There are other things that I have no influence over that also may or may not turn out good or bad.

I feel lucky in my life in total but have worked hard for it. However, I have also suffered bouts of very bad luck that I have no chance of influencing.

Also having the guts to take a risk when a piece of luck arises is also part of 'making ones own luck'.