civil naming ceremony as opposed to religious christening

(62 Posts)
LylaLils Wed 02-Jan-13 14:15:58

I was christened RC and even went as far as confirmation in my teens. This, I was fully aware, so I could get into a good college. My father is Muslim and I grew up fully aware of the hypocrisy of religion as I saw it and still see it. My partner agrees and thus we do not want our baby involved in the church. Much to the dismay of family and friends who say we're jeopardizing our boy's future, as all the best schools are faith schools.

We're sticking to our guns though. We were thinking of having a civil naming ceremony instead. I wondered if anyone else here has had an experience of one of these? What was the cost? How did it go? Did you have to chose "godparents"? Did you regret not getting your child christened...in regards to the consequent schooling?

Also, any ideas of how to answer well meaning but interfering relatives? When they go on about not christening our boy? The only way I can think of answering involves insulting the church and therefore, them.

Thanks xxx

LylaLils Fri 04-Jan-13 14:57:39

Cervix, it is my friends and family who are insisting I do something to welcome my little one into the world. Most of them accept it won't be religious but they still want to be able to celebrate his arrival. So that puts to bed your pathetic theory. See also the price of funeral wreaths which isn't technically a gift but something you are obliged (and want) to give. Either you're a troll, or someone who really needs to lighten up.

Ellie, that's really kind of you, I will message you as soon as I get a min (he's about to wake up!) Also will check out website.

Cous..Lovely idea that my boy will have something to remember relatives who have passed away.

He's awake, bye for now

PiccadillyCervix Fri 04-Jan-13 16:36:55

Sounds like your friends and family want you to have a christening which isn't the same at all. Your headline was civil naming ceremony as opposed to religious christening and then you asked how it was received.

I answered your op honestly and then responded to further comments. If you wanted everyone to come on and say, aw it's your little bubs day! there is a site specifically for that here

Hope you and bubs have the bestest day eva! (hugz)
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

<hides weird netmums thread, and wonder wtf has happened to mumsnet lately>

CrunchyFrog Fri 04-Jan-13 16:39:46

I'l be having a funeral. I demand that I be celebrated. And none of your old religion, either. A good quality, entertaining funeral including country music, whiskey and a damn fine time. I'm quite sad that I'm going to miss it, actually.

My body won't be there, though, it's going to medical science. Whether they want it or not.

Just to be clear, DS2 did get gifts, and we were the centre of attention, of the people who love, care for us, want to celebrate us and enjoy being together. It was a GREAT party. Is it just me that loves getting special gifts for such occasions for the important people in my life? I really enjoy finding something personal and lovely for the people I love to welcome their children into the world. Not keen on lists, and never would do one myself, but love personal presents.

Weddings, now, I think they're bollocks. But hellos and goodbyes are pretty important to me.

JakeBullet Fri 04-Jan-13 16:53:50

Actually Piccadilly I don't agree with you either. A ceremony (religious or not) does not have to involve gifts. My DS was baptised (aged 9) as he expressed a wish to do Holy Communion classes (Catholic school with 40% non Catholic pupils) so needed to be baptised. I specifically told people they did not need to bring gifts and thankfully most didn't although one or two did bring little gifts such as prayer books (DS's face was a picture grin ungrateful little sod)

For a baby there is a long history of welcoming ceremonies the world over, they don't have to be religious and I've been to one or two humanist ones which have been a lovely "we are welcoming baby Ellie/Rose/James/Elliot to the world", yes I took a gift but this was because they were small babies.....it wasn't much, just an inscribed poetry book they would get more out of as older children. At one of them the parents wrote their own words and it was beautiful.

Personally speaking I think a naming ceremony is a lovely idea...it's not about having "a God shaped hole" (and I say that as a Catholic). It's about each person having their own views and ideas. People ARE spiritual beings ....but that spirituality does not have to have to take the form of religion unless someone wants it to.

Even if its just a party to celebrate then its fine....a nice celebration of a new family. Nowt wrong with that smile

vix206 Fri 04-Jan-13 17:36:59

Piccadilly you are either a troll, or someone who has a real chip on their shoulder. Or both.

My DS loved his day. And he wasn't a newborn he was a toddler by the time his naming day came around, and he still remembers it when we look through the photos. You make a lot of assumptions wink

AngelsWithSilverWings Fri 04-Jan-13 20:06:49

Just wanted to clarify that my DC's were still babies at their adoption ceremonies so they had no idea what it was all about.

It really was a celebration of us becoming parents after 10 long years of trying and an opportunity to invite our friends and family to share a special day with us.

I don't really see any difference between arranging a naming ceremony or arranging a big party for a first birthday. Some people really go to town with baby's first birthday. I know people who hired caterers and were popping champagne open all afternoon! ( funnily enough it was another couple who struggled to have a baby and eventually did through IVF)

I don't understand why people are getting so upset about a couple wanted to celebrate the birth of their baby with a naming ceremony. How can that possibly offend anyone?

FarelyKnuts Fri 04-Jan-13 21:57:15

Piccaddily I strongly disagree with your horribly sneering comments.
We had no gifts at my DD's day, and a charity bucket for those who felt they needed to give something. Our DD being young (10 months old) at the time means yes she is unlikely to remember it, but it is part of her story and will be something she is aware happened for her. That all her community came together to celebrate her arrival in the world.

Welovecouscous Fri 04-Jan-13 22:30:39

Knuts that's a very nice way of putting why it IS for the baby.

Welovecouscous Fri 04-Jan-13 22:34:39

Frog I don't think there is anything wrong with gifts - they can be a really lovely part of ceremonies and I also love giving them at christenings and other events smile

The reason we said no gifts at all was because DS was 3 months at his naming ceremony and as he'd been a long time in the conceiving we'd been showered with gifts by kind family and friends in the past few weeks. There is such a strong convention of taking a gift to a christening and we didn't want our lovely guests to feel any need to give again.

Just mentioned our no gifts rule to show ceremonies are about more than just presents.

FarelyKnuts Sat 05-Jan-13 02:04:36

She looks at the photos and video of the day now at 3yo and loves that there was a party about how important she is to us and how lots of people wanted to come to see her and share her special day. What's bad about that? It makes her feel important smile

sashh Sat 05-Jan-13 05:47:35

and a whole bundle of minor gods that became saints with their special days as the church expanded and took over previous days of celebration.

Not just the minor saints, the maddona and child image is pagan and (I could be wrong) Celtic.

weegiemum Sat 05-Jan-13 06:08:24

Dh and I are Christians (actual go-to-church ones!!) but we didn't have a "christening" or baptism as we'd rather our children made up their own minds (and we both had a bit of a theological wrangle about baptism in early adulthood. The dc were dedicated but it was a simple 5 minute part of our normal Sunday service, no fuss.

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