Devil is in the detail - What were the best things at the best parties/events you have ever been to?

[ginghamgiraffe]

So I am planning my 40th which is next year.
My gang of mates are currently in "40th season" - have been to a few big parties recently and have a few next year to coincide with mine.
Have some budget but not LOADS and so I want to pick a few things that will be cool and memorable.
Pinterest is amazing but not until you have more idea of what you want -
Also not entirely convinced I want to go rustic - and so much of pinterest is
burlap and mason jars

Went to a 21st once in my youth where the mother had three sons and clearly played out all her "mother of the bride" fantasies that she was never going to fulfil and they had stilt walkers, and a massive dance floor that was hidden at the side of the marquee and when the music started the side of the marquee was moved aside to reveal a dance floor and band. Very over the top but very cool when it happened.

At another event, there were singing waitresses who were not naff in any way, but sang great tunes - you would think they would have been cheesy but it wasn't like that at all.

Went to a fab corporate event where the table centres were capsicum peppers and the food was paella - theme was Red Hot.

Went to a 30th where the theme was kings and queens and everyone had to just wear a crown - worked really well.

I'm looking for something a bit formal but not stuffy
I think I would like a vague suggestion theme of some kind that makes people dress up but not black tie or anything too stuffy.
We will have some kind of food and therefor food

I don't know what time of year to go for either -

Anyway, thought I'd ask what you think Mumsnetters - pretty sure that you will be awash with great ideas.

[ginghamgiraffe]

Hopeful Friday night bump for people with a better social life than me

[attheendoftheday]

I went to a party last year where they'd hired cocktail mixers. They kept everyone going with drinks (served beer and wine the host had provided too) and did all the flinging around things to keep everyone entertained.

I would stay clear of dressing up things as they are more of a pain really.