I am sure you've all been there... having joint party for the DCs (2 and 4) this year as their birthdays are close together. With their closest circle of friends from nursery alone, that's already 20 children. There are about 12 more children I would LIKE to invite (or feel obliged to invite) such as the children from my antenatal group, but just can't accommodate at the venue we have booked. Nor do I think it makes sense to have more than 20 children at any party. So I decided to host another, smaller do at my house for 8 more children, whose mums I am quite good friends with, although the children don't see each other often. I was going to make it special with cake, pizza and games (and booze for the mums). I have now heard that two of those mums think they are somehow 'second choice' and don't understand why they haven't been invited to what they think is the real party. This has obviously upset me... then there is also another friend who I haven't seen in ages and her dd and my dd never meet so although we have been inviting each other's dds to every birthday party, I thought we should probably stop doing that. Because I didn't want her to be upset too, I decided to phone her and talk it through. DH thinks I am mad and that phoning her was rude. I really feel like I can't get it right at all and am already dreading next year!!! Would appreciate everyone's thoughts?