Mumsnet Talk

Hi,

I'm a single dad. I'm raising my wonderful 10-year-old daughter alone and it's a beautiful experience for us both. But for once I'm at a loss. I'd like to prepare for the arrival of her periods. Can she use tampons or would it be best for her to start with some kind of pad?

LS (in Greece)

Hello. My Dd is 10 too and it is so tricky to give her enough information without scaring her to death!

I don't think tampons are good idea to begin with, they can be very tricky for the inexperienced! Pads have come along way since I was a young girl and always ultra type ones seem ideal for a young girl. I would have some handy that she can use if she needs too. Hope that helps. Good luck.

Chances are she will already know about periods from friends and magazines, but, as you already know, it is really important that you help to prepare her too. Friends often think they know a lot more than they really do and come up wiht all sorts of misleading/horror stories as 'facts'. It will also help your daughter feel comfortable when she does have her first period if you bring up the topic first. My mum never told me anything about periods and was obviously hugely embarrassed about the whole topic - in fact, when I started I used to sneak pads from her stock or use my pocket money to buy my own rather than tell her I needed some

Please just be honest with her and give her facts that she can trust, talk through any worries she might have and let her know that you are comfortable with the whole thing. It will make so much difference.

As for pads/tampons, she could use tampons but they are fiddly and some girls don't feel comfortable using them, so definitely start out with pads and if she expresses interest in tampons, buy her some applicator-type ones to try. They are very useful for things like swimming and vigorous sports and some people, me included, like them as there is less mess than with pads and they can be more comfortable.

When you're buying pads, make sure they have 'wings' as they will slip around less and give better protection for your DD's clothing. She will need to change them every few hours so make sure she has enough each month (a normal-sized packet should be fine). She might also want to try pads specifically designed for use while she sleeps, as they will last through the night and are also longer so there is less likelihood of leaking and her clothes/bedsheets being marked.

Do be prepared for accidents. It is very normal for girls to have irregular cycles so she will more probably than not be taken by surprise at times. It's a good ides to encourage her to carry around a pad in a discreet pocket in her schoolbag (believe me, this is not something either of you want teenage boys discovering!) so that she isn't caught short, and possibly a spare pair of knickers as well.

I hope that helps. As she is 10, there may be a good few years before she has her first period, but she could also start tomorrow, so early preparation is essential. Good luck!

The only way to get more experienced with tampons is by using them, and they let you get on with your life and deal with your period more discreetly than pads do. This is important when it comes time to change for gym or go swimming. And they are far less messy.

You should find a few good books for your DD's reference, about development. Check them for content before you hand them over. One that you might like for a younger girl is The Care And Keeping of You (amazon)

It's a good idea to keep a supply of tampons and sanitary pads in a bathroom cupboard, and also get a bin with a lid for your bathroom -- you can't flush these products. Use binliners. Your DD may like to buy her own supplies, so she will need money on a regular basis to do this, or you could just restock on a regular basis yourself if you notice she isn't buying them.

I tried tampons when I was very young (ie still a virgin) and without wanting to get too graphic - it got stuck inside me.

My hymen went straight accross the middle, if you understand this and the tiny thing went in just fine but once it needed changing it had doubled in size and wouldnt come out.

Long story short - very traumatised, male GP tried to get it out - got it part way but I was too upset to let him continue - thankfully he got it out some of the way so it came out on the walk home!!!!!!!

I realise this was probably very unusual - but it can happen.

Thanks so much, everyone, for the great kindness and thoughtfulness of your replies. I've learned a lot and not least about the good people here. My daughter's bathroom is now stocked with Always Ultra "normal" and Always Ultra "night". What will my next query be about. . . starter bras? Who knows! Some of my daughter's young Greek friends are way ahead of her. Anyways, thanks again. And Hefferlump: ouch and ouch again!

LS

P.S. Any singles ladies here who fancy a new life in the sun?

Crop tops are good at this age if they don't need a bra. Once something is their then Asda do a great range in tiny sizes. Probably not helpful to you in Greece.

we had a thread like this from a dad very recently

oh adn its not a dating website.

........ ouch indeed ;-)