Hi, so I have a question.
I'm a single parent to a 2y and haven't been on a relationship for 2y now. So I didn't plan this but I met someone who I like recently and we are getting on really well. We never met on a dating website and i'm very private w my life so I didn't tell him right away I have a kid simply because in the beginning we were just friends wasn't looking into a relationship but we've been taking it slow and just getting to know each other still. Just last night I finally opened up to him that I in fact have a child. For him personally he doesn't want kids as he had stated this from the get on simply when making casual conversation which I totally don't judge and respect. Now as a parent i'm very protective and private about my personal life especially with my kid and I value my kids safety first ALWAYS. I don't want anyone meeting my son any time soon or maybe even at all.. and if i was to want this I still would take like YEARSSSS to acc feel safe enough to proceed. I grew up with my mum dating and we had really abusive step fathers so I think this also plays a part in wanting to protect my son at all costs and not being comfortable enough with anyone meeting him. His first reaction was shock (mind you this is the first time i'm "dating" someone who doesn't want kids) and i understood so i let him process. Then i asked if it's a dealbreaker and how i needed to know from now because if it really is that bad then i won't proceed w carrying on getting to know him or consider a potential relationship with anyone who doesn't accept im a mother. He was acc really respectful, honest and handled this really maturely. He said his stance is still not wanting kids for him which I said i don't mind because i also don't want anymore kids and he was honest about not feeling like he would be a good fit for a step father figure which I was very grateful for the honesty. Now i told him I don't intend anyone meeting my son anyway because i value his privacy and I want to keep him safe at all times which he respected. Eventually he said although a bit of a shock (shock because i think he felt i wanted him to step up to be a step father) he really likes me enough to accept i'm a mother which I appreciated.
My question now is, am i disrespecting myself for still wanting to pursue this? or is it okay that I personally don't want a step father for my son so it's okay to proceed?
anyone relate? has been in similar situation? Would appreciate any advice plz. Thanks in advance