My husband threatened our son

[loganberry12]

My husband had a row with our 18 yr old son last night & threatened to "put a hole in his face" he pinned him to his bed & raised his fist to him. I got in between them & pushed him away told him to leave. This is all in front of our 4 year old daughter! We have been separated for 2 years he doesn't live with us. My son is fine a little shaken but mostly angry with his dad. I'm upset don't know what to do about this.

[Clargo55]

What led to the row?

He did this in your house? I think I would report him to the police.

Do you think his dad would have hit/hurt him if you did not get in between them?

[Wherediparkmybroom]

what started it?

[loganberry12]

My son was being gobby & shouting me down I went up to tell him off because he had pushed his sister out of his room & hurt her hand. He is very rude towards me doesn't like rules. I was handling it but his dad heard & came up & interfered . He has a very short fuse & shouts a lot he's childish. I did throw him out yes. I don't know to be honest if he would have hit our son or not.

[Clargo55]

Ah so he has learnt his behaviour from his dad.

Not good that he is disrespecting you, but really not good for his dad to be assaulting him.

I would be keeping his dad out of the house and letting DS see him on his terms when ready.

Does dad ever snap at DD? Hope she's doing ok after it all.

[loganberry12]

He has never been violent to our little girl but often shouts at her which doesn't bother her really because he always shouts. My son doesn't really have anything to do with his dad they don't get on but now my ex is saying he's not going to bother with our daughter either because I stood up to him basically & protected our son

[Clargo55]

So he's trying to blackmail you into not intervening next time?

They are your children and you should always protect them from violence.

Tbh if he cares that little for your daughter let him carry on.

[loganberry12]

My son has asked that he doesn't come in our house anymore which I agree with but the problem I have is that when I'm at work he looks after our daughter at mine as he lives with his elderly sick parents so can't take her there for hours

[Clargo55]

Do you think your son is disrespectful to you because his father was/is?

Sounds like he (dad) has a lot of control over you/household.

Do you have any other options for childcare? Or your son have some were he can happily go if he wanted to get away from him for a bit.

[loganberry12]

Yes he is very much like his dad. I don't have alternative child care for weekends no & have just started a job that requires me to work Saturdays. I will have to see if he contacts me for this Saturday if he doesn't I may have to speak to my boss & explain the situation

[loganberry12]

My son is 18 so can go out when he wants but he should feel safe in his own home surely

[Clargo55]

Yes he should, but his dad surely feels no remorse for his actions. Made evident by the comments made about your daughter.

This shows that he is unlikely to change, so the only thing to do is to keep him out of your house. Which would obviously mean changing the childcare situation.

[loganberry12]

Yes I will have to I think

[loganberry12]

Haven't heard from ex since Saturday when he threatened our son . Our son is fine . I will not be letting ex into our home again .

[Clargo55]

Glad your sons doing ok, how are you and DD? Hope you all manage to have a nice weekend.