I thought I was coping quite well with my ds; mother hadn't spent time here as she was ill but came to stay for the last 2 nights. As a result my confidence at is gone looking after my ds.
1 Mother is obsessed that I am not winding ds properly, I spend ages doing it and usually manage to get a burp up but she kept on saying "give him to granny" and such comments
2 She is obsessed with giving the baby water, I checked it out and said the baby didn't need water, she gave it to him anyway . I told her this was not acceptable as I felt she had done it behind my back and she huffed with me
3 She told me I looked very awkward holding the baby and that my dh was much more of a natural
4 She kept on saying the baby was going to choke and kept shouting at me to run to his pram.
I just feel that my relationship with my mother has changed so much since my baby arrived a few weeks ago and I don't know why.
Mother is away home now and I'm left crying as I feel I'm such an unnatural mother. He just over 3 weeks, what can I do better?
Just a little update on this; I said to my mum that I loved her very much but I found her coming across as very critical when what I really needed from her was to tell me I'm fantastic! She was quite taken aback and said well obviously you are doing a good job, I didn't expect you not to! What I was taking a criticism she says was her way of trying to help.
I think she is quite embarrassed and annoyed that she has annoyed me, but I'm going to give her a week or so before I ask her to come and visit just so I can get my self back to where I was in terms of confidence.
Thanks so much for all your supportive comments and glad to know I'm not the only one who hates winding!
Oh good! Hopefully it's just a little blip in your relationship at what is a stressful (and by that I mean sleep deprived, hormonal, possibly painful) time which will now pass. Good for you for taking it up with her straightaway though and not letting it fester.
Congratulations on your pfb by the way, and enjoy!
I have the same problem but I'm really nervous about saying anything to dm as I don't want to upset her, plus I know she won't understand and I will just end up feeling worse. I know that sounds completely stupid but I just can't see a way out. I end up being guilt tripped into seeing her at least once a week, and each time makes me stressed for days.
Winding 3 week olds is practically impossible, later it becomes much easier. I think bottle fed babies are windier than breastfed for those who are confused.
Pink just keep in mind your mum hasnt had a baby for over 30 years and memories are sketchy. I've got a nearly 4yo and 13 month old and tbh I cant entirely remember what its like to have a newborn .
My mother and mil caxme out with loads of stuff that couldnt possibly be true (neither me or dh woke in the night after 6 weeks EVER lol). Both nagged me over not dream feeding (I was knackered and wanted to sleep instead of staying up till 11 at night, by then I'd had 3 hours sleep!)