Ugh, the dreaded problem of coming into our bed - except her twin is freaking out!

[invisibledolly]

Don't quite know what to do!

First of all - DH and I are on the verge of splitting and sleeping in sep rooms.

Secondly, one of my DTs (age just turned 3) is insisting on sleeping in bed with me (H sleeping upstairs in spare room right now)

So - I was already not thinking that was a good idea. And then. DTD2 started waking at night FREAKING OUT and screaming in her sleep so upset that her sister isn't there when she wakes up, and wanting to know why E isn't in 'their' room.

I, frankly, am so tired that I just want to go straight back to sleep when I get woken. But last night being particularly bad, DTD1 was in my bed, tossing and turning for hours - and then I get woken by DTD2 screaming at the top of the stairs because DTD1 isn't sleeping in 'their' room. I comforted her, tried to put the other DT back into their room...she woke and screamed, H spent 45 mins trying to make them both sleep... argggh - eventually H went back to bed and just a few mins later DTD crept back into my room and I was too shattered to do anything about it.

As it is, it feels like I have to spend the whole night putting her back into bed, waiting for her to calm down, and then trying to get back to bed myself (before she tries 10 mins later to come into my room for the whole cycle to start again) and I am depressed just to think about it.

What are our options? I've just drafted up reward charts, but DTD1 is INTENT on sleeping in my bed, and given the recent ructions with H, I don't want to deprive her of affection. Yet her sister is distraught at being left alone?!!!!

[littleducks]

Could you just all pile in to bed together?

[invisibledolly]

I would, but my perfect (;)) DTD2 desperately wants to sleep in her own room with her sister. How do you really stop a 3 yr old who wakes up every hour wanting to sleep in Mummy's bed?

Don't get me wrong, in my ideal world (esp as I split from my H and not perhaps massively healthily) I want nothing more than to be with my girls. But DTD2 doesn't want to sleep with me, she wants to sleep as she always has done, with her sister.

[Floralnomad]

I'd just explain to twin2 that if twin1 is not in their room she's in mums room and she can go there as well . You sleep with them and husband stays in the spare room . Eventually they'll grow out of it ,although that may be a long time . In our case me and husband start off in the same room then when our daughter comes in one of us leaves , works ok here although admittedly it is very annoying when it happens most nights.

[MerylStrop]

put a mattress on the floor in your room for twin 2
or in their room for you.
they're only wee and it will won't last forever

[invisibledolly]

I know it won't last forever, it's a real shame it's happening as H and I seem to be separating. I am exhausted, and he wants me to keep putting DT1 back into her bed. But I am shattered and can't be arsed getting up every hour to put her back (it can take ages because she is upset, plus I think she might be cottoning on to what is happening between us and need the extra comfort - I certainly don't begrudge it of her). I think what is really the issue is a difference in parenting techniques - I couldn't care less if they both ended up in my bed being cuddled by me, whereas I know H doesn't want that and also, I'm too tired right now to deal with it on my own.

[littleducks]

Sounds like ex-husbands sleeping ideals aee more in tune with dt2's.

I think you have to explain to her that she can choose where she sleeps (her bed/mattress on floor your room/ your bed/ with ex h if he agrees?) but cant tell other people where they must sleep. Just as you would if she was being bossy in a game, don't make it a big deal and let her take it from there

[Iggly]

Why don't you set up camp in their bedroom? Maybe ask your DD why she wants to be in your bed (durin the day)? Ds gets upset at night and when we've asked him what's up, he's said it's because of dragons. Or a monster. Which he genuinely believes is there.

What's their room layout? Is one twin near a window? Could something be disturbing her and waking her up?