My 8 year old daughter isn't suited to being an only child.

(11 Posts)

This is what I've come to believe. She has learning difficulties and although she's extreamly popula at school and has loads of friends, she can't seem to make a friend when we take her to a play center.
She loves being surrounded by people and seems to need someone to play with all the time.
We recently got an anual pass to an adventure park. the first time we went, she met a friend from school, who just happened to be there. She played with him for hours, running around (which is unusual for her) and having so much fun. We went again the following week, and she just expected him to be there again. She was very disapointed when he wasn't there, then only played for a short time, then sat with us, saying she was bored and didn't have anyone to play with. I played with her for a while, but she started getting really bossy and bad tempered, so we left. She said she only likes playing with her friends, which is understandable, but she doesn't have that option at the weekends.
I'd really like to offer to take a friend with us when we go out, but she's only been at the school just over a term, and I'm not sure if the parents would alow us to take out their child for a whole day. She is in year.2. She's with children younger than her.
We went out in the snow the other day and she just spent most of the time whining, shouting and crying because the snow was slippery and she has bad co-ordination. she went on the sledge once, then refused to go again. It's got to the stage, I just don't know what to do at weekends. I really want us to do something we'll all enjoy, but it always ends up with her being obnoxious and making our time together miserable. She loves school and doesn't really like the weekends.
So my questions are, do you think year 2 parents would let us borrow their children for the day?
What do you recommend we try to do as a family, if we don't have another child for her to play with, that she might enjoy? She can't ride a bike, or scooter and anything remotly scary or physically challenging freaks her out.
She loves swimming but DH doesn't.
we are TTC at the moment. Our daughter is obsessed with babies, and although the age gap with be big, I'm hoping it'll give her an interest at home.

Why does it need to be a whole day? Why not just invite a friend round for a couple of hours, and see how the friendship develops?

Ragwort Mon 21-Jan-13 12:44:07

I am sure friends would love to be invited round, as NotGood says, start for a couple of hours and then suggest a longer visit I would have loved someone to take my DS out for the day.

Do you have to do everything 'as a family' if you and your DD love swimming can't you just take her on your own and then DH could take her to a cafe for a hot chocolate or something? We have an only child and it is sometimes a nightmare to find something that we all enjoy.

What about organised activities at weekends, there are some clubs that operate at weekends and that might suit her need to mix with other children? A lively Church with a full programme for young peope?

Hi, thanks for your replies. smile
She does have play dates at home, but that's always when DH is at work. When he has a day off, he likes to go out for the day with us. He wouldn't mind taking a friend along, but wouldn't want to stay in.
I think I'll need to get to know the other mums a bit better. There is a coffee morning once a week at the school. We could start by going to that more often. With the play dates, the mums tend to drop them off and go, so not much oppertunity to get to know me.

Clubs can be a bit of a problem, as I have to stay. DD has bowel and bladder problems and has frequent accidents. For this reason it's also tricky for her to be left at play dates.

Ragwort Mon 21-Jan-13 13:41:59

Your DH sounds lovely smile.

Good idea to meet up with other mums; don't know if your finances would permit but what about paying a young teenager to go along with you on outings so that your DD would have someone to focus on rather than just her parents. I used to do that sort of thing when I was 12 or 13 - obviously the parents were around but I would take the children off to the swings or something like that whilst they had a coffee and read the papers. Your DD might enjoy an older child's company?

Thank you, he is. smile

Good idea about taking an older child. She has a cousin who's 14 who dotes on her, so we could bribe ask her. grin

pippop1 Mon 21-Jan-13 18:26:27

Would you be able to ask another family out for the day so that your DD has someone to play with? That way, if the child is younger, the parent/s can keep an eye on it. Someone who's partner works at the weekend or doesn't have one might be delighted to be asked along for the day with their DD.

ilovelilos Mon 21-Jan-13 21:55:45

Hi mummy
Just a thought, what about a pet, perhaps a dog. Could be a wonderful companion for your DD. they give so much love and need walking and it's possibly like having another thing for your daughter to think about, ie feeding, brushing etc.
Good luck, you both sound lovely.

Thank you! smile as we both work and we're out of the house a lot, it wouldn't be fair to have a dog. My MIL has one and Lucy loves him. We see my MIL very regularly, so she gets to take him for walks etc. He comes up to ours too sometimes.

We will think about asking another family along too. We just need to get to know them a bit better first. smile

Snog Sun 03-Mar-13 13:38:14

I think lots of parentswould be happy for you to take their Y2 child out for the day. Perhaps invite the child round for tea after school once or twice first?

Getting to know the other mums is a great idea, why not ask them for coffee after school drop off or pick up sometimes?

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