Im sorry you had toFTP through such a traumatic experience with your first - that must have been quite scare at times.
I would mention your concerns to your midwife, I'm sure she will be happy to talk things through with you and please don't feel ashamed - what you are feeling sounds perfectly normal. And why don't you sign up for antenatal classes - you could only attend the session that covers baby care or join local mums groups for sharing experiences. Most of us are clueless with our first (and forget everything by the time our second one arrives!) but we soon pick it up. I'm confident you will be just fine, so try not to worry about it and enjoy your pregnancy
My first DS is five weeks old and before him I had never even held a baby. Was really unsure about holding him, feeding and changing, felt clueless and terrified! Nowhere near like your first DCs situation I know.
That said, I'm sure you'll be fine after a day or two. Do you have a supportive OH or family? Also, if you feel the need to stay in hospital an extra day until you feel more confident, just ask. I stayed in for an extra day to help me get the hang of BF and it really helped.
I have an almost 21 month old DS. His birth and first few weeks of life were fairly traumatic - emergency GA C-section, he went to special care and was then transferred to a specialist children's hospital at 1 day old. Diagnosed with a rare heart condition, operated on at 9 days. We spent three weeks in neonatal intensive care and go bak o the hospital regularly for check ups etc I am now 29 weeks pregnant (a DD!), we will be having an elective cs this time. But I'm not worried about that, I'm worried about the newborn stage. I only spent minutes with DS in the first 2 days of his life, nurses lifted him out of his crib (with many leads attached) to give him to me for a cuddle, he was about 4 days old before I was able to change a nappy etc. This may be my second child but I'm pretty much clueless about what to do in the initial stage. I'm worried the midwives etc will expect me to know what to do. Anyone had a similar experience or any advice?