ZOMBIE THREAD ALERT: This thread hasn't been posted on for a while.
Bored to tears how do you all cope?(35 Posts)
Just that really. DD's are 3 and 15mths . DH works full time and I am a SAHM.
Both DH and I are bored of our weekends. Oldest DD has a temp and cold so have stayed home all weekend.
What do you all do to stop getting soo bored. I have already read with them, played games, watched some TV, done puzzles the usual but these are all interesting things for the DD's, DH and I are bored to tears. I am aware how ungrateful that makes me sound but seriously what do you all do? Anyone else feel the same way. Do you do adult things during the weekend and drag the kids along? And what do you do??? Especially with DC this young.
Please help seriously losing the will to parent!
I remember it well and I'm dreading it happening again, especially as my current DP often works at weekend so it will just be me and dc2 when dd is with her dad...
Can you take it in turns so you each get some 'grown up' time doing something you enjoy - a class or club or out with friends
or a lie in?
Can you get together with another family so you have adult conversation while the children play together?
Children are great but I am a firm believer in happy parents needing time to be themselves as well as parents - good luck
Agree with SOHHKB - we always 'took turns' to do more adult things whilst the other one stayed with our DS or did something child friendly; personally I think 'family time' is rather sickly sweet and over done .
Well today we met friends with children a similar age, had a lovely lunch then a walk along the beach (adults were pretty frozen but kids didn't care and would have stayed out longer). Yesterday elder DD wasn't feeling great so I stayed at home and kept her company watching kids tv while DH took younger DD out a bike ride - when they were smaller it would have been a long walk in the buggy. We're lucky in that we've nice places to walk nearby (beach and river) but I think getting outside really helps, and you just kind of adjust your expectations of your weekends for a few years: pre kids a walk on the beach probably would't be the social event of the weekend but it won't be long before the girls are off doing their own thing and we'll do ours again.
Yesterday DS1 went to a kids football thong and we had coffee. Then we went to the shops, home for lunch. Then I took the kids to the museum. Bottle of wine for me and DP when they went to bed. Today I took one to drama, then we went for a walk. DS1 currently on iPad DS2 causing havoc while DP watch tv and I mumsnet/read the paper/make dinner.
If you're a SAHM you should try and get out for a bit alone. Or take the baby for a walk and get a coffee or something.
Do other people feel like this? I feel guilty about doing things on my own because we rarely get a chance to do family things. My parents never did anything for the kids when we were little and I just don't want that for my children.
But Christ it's boring - if I see one more bloody Peppa Pig!
Wip mine are still young to do football or drama and none of our mutual friends have children.
TheGirl tell me it gets better?
It gets better!
No honestly it does - ours are 5 and 8 and pretty good company a lot of the time. They're watching a Narnia film after their beach exertions and that (and their current fave, Horrible Histories) definitely beats Peppa Pig and the bloody Fimbles!
I promise you will get your life back (even if it's not quite the same life...)
Do you go to any baby and toddler groups? You could get some local info there. They are so little they will like feeding the ducks then a bun and juice at a coffee shop. I had a massive fabulous garden centre near me, so we could go there and have a nice time for an horror so.
Swimming, as you need 2 of you, just make sure it's a heated pool
Walks all wrapped up, invite people for dinner when dc in bed, nothing fancy or late ?
If it helps, feel exactly the same, pretty isolated, grandparents never offer to help out and havent had time on my own since an afternoon in april! My dd is 22 months. Thought it was just me but slightly reassuring to know its not! Hoping it will get better for both of us! Chin up x
You to Wazza. There are only soo many toddler and baby groups I can go to but again it's not really feeding the soul is it while being lots of fun for the DD's.
Will stop whining now and count my blessings...because DD1 has been sick I think I have a severe case of cabin fever being cooped up in the house all weekend.
At their age swimming is a nice family activity for the weekend? And the older one could do something like little kickers? My DD is 2.9 and loves it.
It is only early days for my dh, dd and I as she is only 16 weeks old but we are lucky that she goes to bed by 7pm most nights. To make up for the fact that we can no longer go out for a meal we pretend we are out. 3 course meal, wine, something unusual to eat and sit at the table. It isn't the same but it isn't far off. (Had pheasant last week and made a beef wellington not so long ago.) We also get other people round for dinner and drinks trying to recreate our pre-dd life.
I also have a dh who sometimes works weekends however I try and do things with friends who are single, or football or golf widows just so dd and I aren't too lonely.
I definitely think that weekends need to be a good mix of family time, couple time and individual "time off". We tend to have a treat night on a Friday, with a waitrose dine in deal for eg, have a lie in each, either Sat or Sun,. We all go swimming as a family on a Sat morning, long dog walk Sun, then have lunch together before putting dds down for naps and having a little "lie down" ourselves . We then share out afternoons as needed ie I will take dds to a party so Dh does food shop/diy/reads the papers, or Dh will take them to the park while I batch cook/do christmas shopping/read my book. It's all about getting a balance.
When they're ill everything is harder. This too shall pass.
Does it get better ?
Just come back from a two hour round trip to take my DS to a sporting activity - half hour drive each way and an hour activity - there is nowhere to sit and watch, nowhere interesting to go whilst he does it (we live in a very rural area, even the few pubs are not really the sort you would want to sit it) - I ended up trying to read in my car which wasn't ideal.
This too shall pas (after 18 years ).
SAHM isn't for everyone. Perhaps you would rather return to work? and at the weekend, make some time for yourself while dh looks after the children for a couple of hours. Take it in turns, and now and then get the children babysat so you can go and do stuff together of an evening.
kat are you SAHM or do you go out to work? Do you know what I mean about it being boring? What do you do to make it less so. Would love to go back to work but until DD1 starts school we simply can't afford it
I will endeavour to have some me time on the weekends...but why does that make me feel guilty?
We try to go out and do lots of stuff at the weekend to help make it more interesting. Generally as a family as we both WOH during the week, but think would work on own as well - walk in the countryside, swimming (if we all go, one of us plays with DS while the other does proper swimming, then swops), pub lunches with family or friends, sometime a day out. Wander round the local town, feed the ducks, geocaching - DS is a bit young, but we quite enjoy it. Or some kind of 'project' at home rather than just day-to-day stuff - either something we want/need to do adapted so DS can help, or something he'd love that would be hard to do with just one parent (major craft, cooking).
I do find that if we have a weekend of just domestic stuff then it gets very boring - need to add some treat stuff!
It definitely definitely definitely does get better, though obviously it's different to how it was pre children but in my eyes my life has changed for the bette. Having said that I know exactly what you all mean.The boredom is crippling. The lack of any time to do anything for yourself is hideous. I know it gets better though as DS1 is 5 and is generally lovely to be around, can entertain himself a bit, wants to play slightly more interesting board games, watch slightly better films at the cinema etc, he's very portable now too lol so he can come on a shopping trip or sit in a cafe or restaurant nicely which makes life a lot easier..... BUT then there's DS2 whi is 11 months and has reminded me just how boring DS1 used to be and how mind numbing being around very young children and babies is. I think I'd blocked it all out, either that or DS1 got so gradually better that I hadn't relalised the changes or appreiated them! It's all come back to me now. Only now do I remember the months/ years of being bored, being dragged to endless toddler groups, stay and play sessions, tantrums and all the rest of it..... hmmmm! It will get better though!!!
I know how you feel. If there's nothing planned on a weekend I start climbing the walls. DH is happier pottering around the house - he works full time - but I go stir crazy without a plan (even though I work part time).
Our life saver has been the National Trust. We're lucky enough to have 3 or 4 near us and we go quite often. A couple's (kids under 5 are free i think) membership is about £65 for the year and it's quickly made back by a few trips. No need to go round the house, just an explore round the gardens is a good outing.
Being stuck home with a poorly child is really hard though - I feel for you.
Mine are about 6 months older than yours respectively. We do a mixture of stuff we all want to do at the weekends. Sometimes DH takes them both out, often we see extended family, sometimes we make a nice meal, bake, go for walks etc. Church on a Sunday and then a very chilled out afternoon. In the summer we will often do a family day out but not so much at this time of year. I don't feel guilty about using at least some of the weekend for things that I or DH enjoy.
This is why I couldn't be a sahm!! Would you not get some help in the form of tax credits towards child care if you went back to work?
Yes it can be very boring..... My pet hate was pushing dd on swings...grr..Never has 20 min taken so long. I would clock watch more than when I worked in telesales when at the park with a toddler. You must make time for yourself - no need to do everything as a family all the time. In my experience doing stuff as a family generally involved me with dd whilst dp wandered off to do something more interesting.
And it does get better!! Dd now nearly 8 and she is fun to go places with and can watch some programmes that don't make your teeth fall out (god I hated Dora). Also she's old enough for me to say 'no, funnily enough I do not want to play snakes and ladders/push you on swings/ play hide and seek' etc without me feeling guilty (well not too much anyway)...
There's always ...
What would you be doing on the weekend if you didn't have children? Sometimes we fall into the trap of thinking we can't do things because of the children. Just ask that question sometimes and trial taking them with you rather than just doing things for them. You may sometimes be surprised that they could fit into your plans.
I don't think you should feel guilty for wanting to do something for yourself at the weekend, you are with your DC all week, the weekend is the best time for you to get a break!
My DH works full time and as he is out of the house all week, he loves to lay around at home, play with DD's, watch TV and chill. I use this time to take myself off out, meet a friend, go round the shops, anything just for some 'me' time. Then usually on one of the days we will all go out together to the park for a walk, round to see friends.
I think splitting up can be good too, my DH used to take DD1 to swimming on a sat morning, which would give me a couple of hours with just DD2.
Join the discussion
Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.Register now
Already registered with Mumsnet? Log in to leave your comment or alternatively, sign in with Facebook or Google.
Please login first.