Birthday Party invitation etiquette - advice needed

[Arcadie]

DS1 is turning 5. He started school a week ago, and wants to do a birthday celebration at local cinema and McDs afterwards (don't flame me - his plan!). Up until now his parties have been for the kids of my friends, but now venturing into world of school parties.
I could use some more experienced parents' advice to make sure that I'm not sending out an invitation filled with faux pas. Should I ask for their contact numbers? Should I give more/less info? Cheers!

The invitation

Dear XXXXXXXXX,

Please come to my birthday celebration on XXXXXXXXX. We're going to Vue Cinema Kids Club to watch Megamind*. It?s on at 11:00. We?ll go for a McDonalds Happy Meal afterwards. Come to our house (we live at XXXXXX)for 10:25 and we?ll drop you back at your house when we?re finished (probably about 2ish.) If your Mum wants to talk to my Mum about it all, her number is XXXXXXXXXXXX.
Can you let my Mum know by Weds 2nd Feb so she has time to book tickets?

Hope you can come! Love Arcadie's Boy
*(Although Vue haven't finalised what?s showing yet, this one's on the website.)

Sounds good to me

Just a thought..

You might want to specify if parents are invited/ welcome to come along if they want too/ How many adults will be with the kids the whole time - just to reassure how supervised the whole thing will be!

Especially as you have not been at school very long and wont know the kids/ families very well?!

Have a great time!

What cookie said - some parents can be a bit precious! I would say something along the lines of "if your mum/dad/carer wants to come along too, that would be fine with us, but there's no need to as there will be X number of adults per child and we can transport all the children to the venue and back again with no problem"

or some such bollocks! :)

Smashing - thanks!

How many children are you taking? If it's just a few (3?) who will fit comfortably in a car then fine.
If I was a parent in the class and realised loads of children were invited then I would be a bit alarmed about (a) the prospective transport arrangements and (b) ratio of adults to children for purposes of accompanying them to loo in public place and reassuring any who have not been to cinema before.
I would rather meet you there and accompany my son at this age. My DS is 6 and I still stay at large parties in public places.

I think the wording is fine. How many children are you going to invite?

Inviting 7 with three adults taking them. I'll say when they reply that if they want to accompany/ meet us there then they're very welcome. My impression of the mums I've met so far is that I'm much more uptight than most of them so it'll probably all be ok!

I wouldn't be keen on an invitation like that at this stage, sorry. Maybe it depends how old the children you're inviting are - some could be only four, couldn't they?

Personally I would not be at all keen for my Reception aged child to be taken off to a busy cinema with adults they have quite possibly never met before and whom they might not be able to find again in a crowd if they got lost. So I'd probably agonise over it and then say no if I didn't have the option of going too, for that age.

I've got more than one so it's not a PFB issue, I promise. It just seems like too many young children who don't already know you well for that kind of outing. (Here that kind of birthday where you take a few off to the cinema type seems to be something that happens a couple of years later at the earliest and then with fewer than seven children.)

But usually on school trips the children are in school uniform and travelling in quite an organised way. So any briefly lost child is findable easily by their uniform, and the kids can spot each other easily, and also although some of the adult helpers would be strangers at least one or two (the teacher and TA) would not be. So it isn't quite the same.

It would make a difference if I knew the parents doing the party very well but I didn't get the impression that would be the case here.

In any case, I'm not trying to argue it's intrinsically wrong to have this kind of outing - just saying that it's not a trip I'd be keen for my own child to go on, for the above reasons.

With the numbers involved I agree with straighoutofthebottomdrawer.

Also, that type of party isnt really typical for younger children - they tend to have much more of the large/invite most of the class parties, which is good for them in getting to know the other children (and the parents meeting each other), and also in that it means a lot more reciprocal invitations to other parties later on (and so not feeling left out when the invites are handed out).
Not that any of that is necessarily a reason to do it that way!

I'd definately give parents the option of attending. I would not have let DS go without me at that age unless it was a relative or a really good friend.

Its only the older primary children who do that type of party here though.

To clarify - we'll get their car seats.
He's been in playgroup with these kids kids for 18 months so we don know them and their parents by sight if not terribly well.
One of the kids is my nephew.
I'm perfectly happy for any parent to come along and will say that to them.

And we CANNOT afford to have 30 kids at a party. We only just make ends meet as it is. We're looking at a 95p entry to the cinema plus a 1:99 ish happy meal per child. We'll JUST about cover that! I would LOVE to have had a big bash for him but we simply can't.

Hi arcadie

I think the wording is fine and it sounds like a great party! My only worry if my DD (5) got an invitation like that is that I am 99% sure that SHE would not be happy going on her own - she is pretty shy, probably more than most children, but I would be ready for a few tears/bewilderment towards the end of the afternoon from children (esp. 4 yr olds) who aren't used to being in that kind of situation without parents - maybe a big bag of sweets might come in handy for that eventuality?

thanks Pixie.

Skidd is that you? As in the good doctor herself??

Cheers all - guess I hadn't considered that the kids would be unnerved - will think on.

I think it sounds like a really lovely party and am sure the children will love it.
I know if my DD was going to a party like this she would love it, cinema is not something we do (no reason just haven't!)so it would be a big treat!

I aree, sounds like a very nice party.

*agree

yes tisa me - still a Dr just thought i'd stop bragging about it 2 years on .

Children will probably have so much fun they'll be fine but it's never a bad idea to have sweets at the ready!

I think it sounds like a very nicely worded invitation, and you've said you'll offer for parents to go and about car seats etc. No problemo. I think it's fab that your following your ds' interests :) Parties doen't have to follow the 'norm' - although I'm not sure there is a norm. Anything goes if it suits you and your child...trip to the cinema, party at home, trip to the park, hire a hall for a thougsnad kids, take one special friend for a ride on a train os a special day out, grandad playing guitar for a few friends in the lounge... do what makes his birthday special :)

TF you are a comfort!

Invitations went out this pm (an event in itself, how to get the to kids without ALL the other kids seeing and feeling left out, which I'd hate and want to minimise, but accept may have to be) and so far we've had 3 yesses and 0 nos.

BUT one of them was concerned about her son not having been to the pictures before and was very grateful at being given the option to take him herself. So thank you all muchly for giving me the nod that this might happen.