advice plse -having friends around to play

[HelenMeg]

Hi everyone

I have DS who has just turned 6 yrs old. I fond that every time I invite someone around to play with him, it all goes fine for approx 1 hour - and then DS turns moody. He stops playing with the friend, and goes into a sulk. He says it is because 'so and so' wont play his games or something like that.

I try hard to distract from teh situation and suggest going outsude or having a biscuit etc etc but DS finds it difficult to come out of the mood.

I find it very awkward but really want to help DS to come through this. We talk about it and i have said that we will solve it together. Once upon a time he found it hard to share toys with friends but we have conquered that so I guess we can get through this somehow.

I think it is because, having no siblings, he does tend to get his own way most of the time (our fault I suppose). So when a freind comes round it gets to a point where DS is fed up of not getting own way and sulks. Also, maybe he finds it tiring and demanding having to 'be with someone' and after an hour he reaches his limit. I suppose I could invite people around but just for 1 hour.

I really want to try and nip it in the bud as I dont want him to get a reputation or not be invited back to other's houses.
When he is not on his own territory he is completely different and people remark upon how kind and considerate he is to others, at school etc.

Any ideas or similar experiences please?

[eleanorsmom]

Is it right after school? I find that my dd is tired and only lasts for an hour after school, so that's all that we do and I make excuses about getting dinner ready on time or something. I don't think it's about being an only (I have 4 dcs, they are all completely different personalities and I'm more and more convinced that temperament is something you come with).

[MadBadAndWieldingAnAxe]

I don't think this is about being an only child, either. Many of my dd's playdates are like this - her friends with siblings are just as prone to sulking, refusing to share toys or insisting that it's their game that gets played. As eleanorsmum says, it's more likely to be about personality and tiredness after school.

[HelenMeg]

Thanks for replies. But it happens on weekend
pplaydates too, so dont think it is tiredness.. perhaps just personality and temperament.

[peanutbutterkid]

Stick to under 90 min. playdates for now, that is plenty long enough at 6yo, anyway.

[HelenMeg]

Yes Peanut butter Kid - will do - best to end them on a positive note...thanks

[Takver]

I find it really helps to have some kind of 'activity' planned to wheel out at awkward moments. My dd has a couple of friends who are quite a bit older, and although they play well for a while, it can get a bit 'sticky' sometimes, so its useful to have a fall back.
Things that work well for my 7 y/o dd and her friends:

• cooking, particularly stuff like decorating biscuits or making bread rolls
  
• making stuff (peg dolls & the like), but with 'my' materials, not things of dds (so that they're new to her too)
  
• taking the dog out for a walk via the play park (obv weather dependent, but no prior planning needed)
  Its probably a bit girly but these activity cards are quite good for ideas, theres various sets of them, I imagine some would be less girl-oriented. Somehow producing a handful of printed cards & materials seems more inspirational than just a pile of stuff, even if what they actually make bears no relation to the card

[HelenMeg]

Takver -thats excellent - thanks.. I will be prepared in future so that I can introduce an activity at the sitcky moments!!