I was sterilised last year, by choice and so thought about this.

I know the only child I ever want to be a parent to is DD.
If she died, I'd still be her parent, albeit not actively, and I know another child could never, ever replace her.

I have heard of women wanting more children as they are no longer a Mum, but I know I am a Mum forever, and by choice, only ever to DD.

Lostittoday - absolutely, worry about it all the time. I'm a worrier though anyway. I appreciate every minute I have with my DS. I'm too old now to have any others. Life wouldn't be worth living, but its best not to dwell.

On the plus side though because there are only me and my DS we are very close and that's very special.

All you can do is appreciate what you have now.

Of course, but I don't own DD, and I can't stop her from dying. So I file it in "Things I can do very little about", and get on with "Things I can do something about".

I have lots of family dead also, my dad and sister, my god father, some cousins, most of my aunts and uncles, and all my grand parents. So I know that death is inevitable, and not worth fighting in your mind IYSWIM.

We don't own each other - we have no rights to a long and happy life, for ourselves or for anyone else - we just have to live in the now, and try and make the now the best we can.

Cherish your time together.

Its thought that surfaces occasionally, recently DH was asked about this when he asked for " the snip".
Should the worst happen we would cope with it somehow, and we are not to know how unless it happens.
I guess I file it with the "what if DH died" question and others of that ilk and actually don;t think it very much.

Losing a child is a truly horrific and dreadful thought but one that does cross peoples minds.

I honestly don't think that anything can be a consolation to you if you lose a child - no matter how many of them you have.

I don't think that the life of a mother who has lost her only child would be more dreadful than the life of a mother who has lost one of her children but has others.

I think it would be utterly devastating on a daily basis whatever.

Yes, it happened to someone I know, she was too old to have another, I am too old to have another...

I do think of it occasionally, but in the end you have to push it down inside and get on with the things.

The chances of losing a child prior to adulthood are now mercifully low.

I think everyone does. But I also think parents of 3, 4, 5 and more children also have the same fears about losing one or all of their children.

A dear friend of mine has lost a child, and in all honesty, the fact that she has 2 more hasn't helped her come to terms with her loss.

I think the feeling is a common horror but far from restricted to mothers of one child.

I have two dear friends who died they both had siblings. Their mothers have both suffered vastly in vastly different ways

You only have to look at the bereavement thread to realise that it is not the number of children that matters (and I know that is not what you are saying OP) it is simply how you visualise the impossible to visualise

I suggest you try to shake it off and concentrate on dealing with the low feelings that lead you to think like this in the first place.... and have a lovely bath/ glass of wine or whatever else you might do to pick youselfe up. And then hug your DC and remember it hasn't happened
take care of yourself

Yes, I do. It's one of the reasons I really wanted to have two - but I'm fairly old, and am now coming to terms with the fact that I probably won't.

Like Mary AS, there are quite a few dead children in my family (I had a sister who died at birth, and my mother had a brother who died) and I've had two miscarriages, so I feel that death is always very near.

Things like that recent tragic case where parents jumped off a cliff after their son died do remind me of this but, otherwise, I never really think about it. I don't know how (God forbid) I would cope but, then, we never really know how we would cope with any devastating event. I guess one just has to find something to get through the day.

Besides, I don't think anyone with more than one child would feel a child's death any less. It's true that they would still have another child or childen to focus on but, as Deadworm says, even that could be fraught with difficulty.