Im 41, DD is six. I have been perfectly happy having one child, she is my everything and I have never wanted a second. Last year we even looked into me getting sterilised. Then I turned 41 and my biological clock is ticking very loudly in my ear. I can write a huge list of reasons to have another and not many against. I have forgotten that DD slept through from two weeks, and was no trouble and you never get two the same. I have forgotten the boredom of havng a new baby that does very little and the smell of baby sick. DH (who is 33) says no, I am too old, there are too many risks and too many age related issues. DD would love a sibling after Ive spent the last two years into brain washing her into thinking a sibling would be her worst nightmare and she would have to share her favourite teddy. Am i just befuddled by pre menopause hormones? Will it wear off by the time I turn 42? Have I finally lost the plot? Anyone feel the same ?
I don't think you have lost the plot at all. I'm guessing that, with you being 41 and dd being 6, there's a feeling of "it's now(ish) or never". What you should do, as your partner is so anti, is harder to say.
Thanks for that. Youve hit the nail on the head, I reckon I have one good year in me. Would never even contemplate having a baby at 43 but 42 is a whole year younger. Convincing DD will be easy ! Convincing DH is a different matter .
How easy are your dh's objections to counter? You can point out, for example, that plenty of women have babies in their 40s with no detriment to them or their babies. Concerns about the longer-term implications of being older than average parents may be harder to overcome.
No problem with being older than average parents, I was ancient at 36 when I had DD according to the maternity unit. Im still fit and active and can chase her about so that wouldnt be a problem. Ive just come out of work and were managing ok for money so he cant use that one either.I think hes just worried about age being a big factor in having a disabled child. What I dont think hes grasped is the risks werent much lower when I had DD and at the end of the day the chance of having a healthy baby is a bit of a lottery anyway. He is however very set in his ways and any decision he makes is considered a done deal. His sister is due to visit in July when she will have an eight week old baby(he loves babies by the way) so if Ive not managed to chat with him by then we will see what the baby can do !