me and dp have been having discussions about having a 2nd child. we always come back to same issues, mainly that we dont have much money, would find maternity pay/childcare crippling 2nd time around, live in a small rented flat which we cant afford to move out of, and also dp, (and me to a certain extent) doesnt really want to ho through all the baby stuff again. all good, sound reasons for sticking with one, who we can just about afford to have holidays with, pay for school trips for etc. so how do I stop myself being so bloody broody all the time!? I know another child wouldnt be best thing for our family but still cant stop thinking about it and imagining it. I wish I could just switch those feelings off! doesnt help that ds has asked me several times recently about having a baby brother or sister. grrrr, damn hormones.
Is there anyway you can get better paid jobs or take on a part time job, save for a little while and then go for it, you do sound as if you'd love another dc. Having no2 was worth it for us, I would of regretted not having a 2nd, but the broodyness is still there but Dh has had the snip now because we both know 2 is our limit and what we really want.
Would love a better paid job but unfortunately its not as easy as that!!! Also, DS is already 4 so we'd need to get going now really, unless we want a big age gap so doesn't leave any time to save really.... Hopefully you're right Fanoftheinvisibleman and the feeling's going to fade soon!!!
Money, the root of all evil! That's the sticking point with us, DS is 3 & I am unbelievably broody for another & really feel that it's now or never (also out ages are becoming a factor too) I honestly think you can always make things work & hope that the next child is a boy, or a girl that doesn't mind wearing blue! I keep thinking that having just the one we can afford to do more but when I see DS with other children, I know he'd make a fantastic big bro.
Hi op I know from what you have said that things are very tight space wise and financially. If you could imagine the " you" five years from now do you think that not having another child would be something you would always regret? If it is I would personally move heaven and earth to have another one, your son will get so much from having a sibling every day even if it means there would be less money for treats trips ect. Good luck with whatever you decide.
I am going through similar issues - in fact it has reared its head (with much crying) today! I am trying to look on the positive - DD is amazing and we are so lucky to have her, I have friends who can't have more for medical reasons; having one means what money you do earn can be spent on good holidays and giving your child experiences you might not have been able to do with another child. The key is your focus - it needs to shift from wanting another to something else - could you retrain or climb the career ladder in your current job? start a blog? join groups, do more activities, start a business? Do something for you which would not have been possible with another child on the way x