Is only one child ok

(15 Posts)
henrysmama2012 Mon 13-Aug-12 22:23:27

I've just never understood this stigma about having 1 child. a) don't people have better things to worry about than being gossips and interfering in other peoples family set ups? And b) I'd presume that if you asked the average little boy or girl whether they'd like 100% of mummy and daddies cuddles or 50% of them it's quite likely that they'd choose the former! I think having 1 or more are all great but if anyone tells you they have a problem with you only having one then they need to read more (lots of info out there to say only children are not disadvantaged when compared to those with siblings), and butt out and mind their own business!grin

legoballoon Wed 25-Jul-12 16:34:16

I have 2. I have friends with 3, 4 and even (gulp) 5! I also have many friends with one. They are adoring mums and dadst, and adorable kids. For whatever reason they've decided to / stopped at one, and that's their business and they are great families. TBH, they are probably able to give their DS/DD more time, attention, patience and resources that those with larger families.

Don't beat yourself up about it - enjoy your DS.

If you feel you have the energy or need to 'give yourself' to other kids, how about helping out with a charity like www.home-start.org.uk/homepage or another children's charity when your LO is older and you have a bit more time.

WRT being 'lonely' - your DS will have opportunities to socialise at nursery/school, have good mates/ cousins round to play etc., and will be just as happy as any other kid. smile

knittedslippersx3 Wed 25-Jul-12 16:24:38

My dd has made it to 16 being an only! She never interacted with another child until she was 3 and went to playschool. Now there is no stopping her, she is either at school, work or out with friends! Your ds will be absolutely fine.

rookiemater Wed 25-Jul-12 16:19:05

I'm an only child and never intended to have just one but it has ended up that way because of circumstances.

DS is 6 and I make sure that we have friends round a lot plus we live in a cul de sac where he plays with lots of other children. I suspect I may have overdone it on the open house policy as we always seem to have loads of children in our back garden our house - joking as I do like it.

tanfastic Wed 25-Jul-12 16:16:25

I hope so because we only intend to have the one (although we did try for a while for number two).

beanandspud Wed 25-Jul-12 16:14:09

Having one is absolutely ok. For all sorts of reasons we have (and only will have) DS and it is the right decision for our family.

There are pros and cons of having just one in the same way as there are pros and cons of having more than one. You can only make the right choice for your own situation and try not to let unkind or badly phrased comments from others concern you.

Csimms Wed 25-Jul-12 14:33:11

Thanks for all of your responses. I think I worry too much. smile

Em3978 Wed 25-Jul-12 14:29:30

Having just one is great! Honestly! smile

IslaValargeone Wed 25-Jul-12 14:27:37

We have one. It is great, we love it, she loves it.

DontEatTheVolesKids Wed 25-Jul-12 14:26:15

presents!! Even. Or maybe having only one is a kind of a gift in itself, too.

DontEatTheVolesKids Wed 25-Jul-12 14:25:40

One is fine. Make the most of the opportunities only-one present smile.

mistlethrush Wed 25-Jul-12 14:24:44

DS is an only - it is OK.

I didn't miss anything, being an only, and never thought about having a sibling.

DS would have liked a sibling and would have made a lovely big brother - but its not to be. He doesn't have to share our attention, and has lots of friends, so he is happy.

Csimms Wed 25-Jul-12 14:21:51

Thanks Songbird. I think we would struggle financially if we could have another one, plus run out of space as we live in a two bed flat. It works well for us as well. Hopefully in the future I am hoping for my siblings to have children, so he will have some cousins.
He is well loved by us, if he needs something that we can provide for him, with out over spoiling him. He is quite sociable, so hopefully he will make friends easily when he goes to nursery/school.

I am expecting negative responses, but won't let them get to me :-)

Songbird Wed 25-Jul-12 14:15:24

Of course it's OK smile. Will he be loved? Will he have friends? Ideally I would have loved at least one more child (I'm one of 4 and there are definite pros and cons), but there's no way I can afford the time off work for maternity leave, so one it is. It works for us in so many ways.

Expect a lot of arsey people responding to this thread wink

Csimms Wed 25-Jul-12 14:11:23

I was lucky enough to have my son 2 years ago, by taking part in an egg donation scheme and I got a free round of IVF.
I had some tests done a few months ago as I was hoping to have another round of treatment, but the results showed that my egg reserve levels are too low to take part in the scheme again. They will however let me have a round of IVF at a cost of £7-£10k and they have told me my success rate is only about 40%.
We don’t have a spare 10k to risk on trying for another baby, so I have more or less come round to the idea that my son will be an only child. At the back of my mind there is a what if, but I guess that will always be there and I am grateful that I had my son, as I know there are plenty of women out there who can’t have children.
I have 2 brothers and a sister and my husband is one of 5, so we don’t know what it is like to be an only child.
Is it ok to have just one child, will he miss out on anything?

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