Agonising Decision!

[Amybear]

Hey all, I am new to this board. Me and DH tried for 5 years to conceive DS through several attempts at IVF, he is now 18 months old and is adorable but very hard work. We have one frozen embryo left (very good quality) and it is eating away at me 'should we use it?'

DH is 43 and doesn't want any more (although he does say he would do it for me) but he says 'now or never' due to his age. I do not feel ready at all, and am not 100% sure I ever will feel that massive urge that I felt the first time. I am just sick with worry that I will wake up in a few years and massively regret not trying for a second.

tbh we love our own lives and enjoy eating out and the nice things in life. We both feel a second one will tip us into territory that we cannot cope with. But then all I do is look at others and think 'well they can do it, why can't we?'

I feel so mixed up by this decision, almost like I SHOULD want another one more. Then I think about the poor little frozen embryo sitting there and I think it will always be 'what could of been'.

We did book to have it put in in January, but I am getting cold feet. DS has agreed he also has cold feet.

I must add that I am an obsessive person so will carry this with me for a very long time, lol - at least I klnow myself eh? I always imagined myself with 2 as we both come from families with siblings, but my Mum says families come in all shapes and sizes..................

any advice would be appreciated xxx

[wyorksmum]

When having second round of IVF for our second child I felt 'at least we tried' and what will be, will be. And it worked. but having two children in our forties is not easy. Age difference of 7 years has been difficult in many ways, so I would say do it sooner, rather than later. In 5 yrs time you'll have two children at school, rather than starting all over again. I found the 2nd child much easier, you already know how to sterilise and use the pram, and more enjoyable, much less stressful. But still just as much work! My dd has never asked for a brother or sister, but that may become an issue with an only child.