Mumsnet Talk

My DH and I are blessed with a happy and lively 9 year old DD. About 5 years ago we were told that we were both infertile which was a massive blow as I always wanted more children and loved being a mum. We had to deal with it and it was very very hard, especially for me.
Things were going well, the three of us are a very tight unit and do everything together.
After going for all these years without contraception, because we didn't think we needed to, I found out I was unexpectedly pregnant in October of this year. It was a massive shock and we were anxious about my age (nearly 40) and the big age gap. We had a week of coming to terms with it, only for it to end in an ectopic pregnancy.
After the stress of this and the possibility that an ep could happen again if I ever could ever get pregnant again we have decided to use contraception in future.
I think this is the best idea and DH does too.
Now I'm coming to terms with the only child thing again as my seemingly last hope was snatched away.
I know it will get better and it will feel less raw in time but just wanted to post as I feel like nobody in my life understands.

I am in the sameish sort of position as you. I have one ds who is 3.5 and it took us 8 years to cenceive him. I really really wanted another one but it hasn't happened and as I am 43 in January we have decided that we would stop trying at the end of the year. I thought I might be pregnant this last time but resisted testing, however AF just arrived 2 weeks late and is very heavy. I am sort of glad I didn't do the test. That's me done now as well and so I understand how terrible you feel. Everyone says I am lucky to have one child, and I count my blessings every day but I have honestly found the inability to conceive the second time worse. I wentto put stuff for Christmas in the understairs cupboard and found ds's baby playmat and ended up having a little weep.
Are you sure you're done- 40 is not that old.

Thanks for replying paddy it kind of feels less lonely to hear other people are going through a similar experience.
Although 40 is not that old when I weigh it up with the past 8 or so years of not getting pregnant despite not preventing it and the trauma I've just endured of the ectopic, I think I would rather just stop now. Probably doesn't make sense but it does for me in my muddled mind!
Hope you are enjoying the christmas run up with a 3.5 year old, isn't it just lovely when they truly believe!

I understand completely. We stopped for a year just before I got pregnant as we couldn't bear going through it anymore and it was a relief in a way. I am hoping come the new year I will just accept my lot and move on. I think I'll have a clear out over Christmas and get rid of all the baby stuff I kept. It has been great with ds this year- mind you I don't know what I'm going to do when I haven't got Santa to threaten him with.
I hope you have a lovely Christmas and 2012 is better to you.