Reading this a bit late, but IMO MissChief you were the best thing on this thread!

I had a Caesarian and had numb belly syndrome. Read that I should massage the area every day with whatever oil was about (Castrol GTX not). By eighteen months I had full feeling back and now at three years the scar has practically gone.

I did massage every day religiously and quite vigorously.

Rub away!

am I calling myself a writer?!My tODDLER doesn't do much for my tpying, must admit.

Typos, poor grammar, whatever are fine, IMHO on here, except when from a writer/expert/whatever preaching what to do to us. In that case, I expect perfection!

am I calling myself a writer?!My tODDLER doesn't do much for my tpying, must admit.

Typos, poor grammar, whatever are fine, IMHO on here, except when from a writer/expert/whatever preaching what to do to us. In that case, I expect perfection!

Hopefully she won't come back, MissChief, as you're giving her plenty of pot/kettle ammunition in this sentence:

"Didn';t mean to be hostile, don't think I was. She does call herslef a "writer" ffs!"

well, she said it to me so i took it to mean "go f* yourself"! Or at least, get the hell off my book-pushing thread. I could be wrong

as she's gone can I ask wtf does "go well" mean?

is it hip?

well, there you go, fairly apt, IMHO!

Didn';t mean to be hostile, don't think I was. She does call herslef a "writer" ffs!

That will be her everlasting impression of mumsnet. Being told off for inappropiate apostrophe use.

It just seemed rather unnecessarily hostile to be lecturing her on her grammar.

<still not come out>

Basically, I had PMT and she got up my nose, quite whiy I caused anyone to hide behind their hands , I don't know. Oh well, glad she made so many people happy, feel it's money for old rope and a rather outrageous use of MN. But that's my opinion.

huh? didn't think I was being rude, sorry. Hate so-called experts giving advice (rather patronisingly at times, IMHO) in the same breath as making such basic grammatical mistakes.

To be honest, I'm surprised that she was given air-time, who needs advertising when you can come on here?! A mate of someone at MN towers maybe, I'll go now, I'm just jealous

Is this thread going to be unstuck sometime soon?
Or is Kate involved with some pay-per-click deal with MNHQ?

I hid behind Boco's fingers as well

can we come out now?

MissChief - shame on you. Manners Maketh Mumsnet.

Kate Cook completely ignored my questions! That's her book coming out of my Amazon basket.

mp-these type

they must be doing something as dh is complaining i'm not squishy enough to use as a pillow any more

lazytown ugh ugh yuck nasty its BANNED in this house.in the shite garden would be better-macca pacca weighlifting,iggle piggle bouncing around,and im sure the pontipines must get plenty of excersise

lol boco

That did make me hide behind my fingers.

Oh my good lord!
Misschief - waht the frig was all that about?

PMSL at "there are some very educated people on here"

oh get over yourself

Golly yes definitely

I would be up for a bit of jogging with Magnus Scheving

Just 10 minutes a day would surely tone something or other

Surely that's not wrong

There could be some mileage in the Lazytown DVD idea though. THere is a school of thought that Sportacus is rather lovely and watching him jump around a lot would not be a chore.

Me, I'm more of a Robbie Rotten fan

Mp that is the most terrible suggestion I have ever heard. Please God don't ever let anyone make a Lazy Town exercise DVD!

I think that would be my idea of what hell is like.

Diva what DVD do you have?

There is definitely a market for, say, LazyTown exercise DVDs that you could convince a pre-schooler to watch with you...

Thanks for having me - I enjoyed it
Go Well, Good health and Good luck
Kate X

Well that's the hour up. Many thanks to Kate for dropping by and answering our questions - must admit to feeling saddened that custard creams are not deemed a good source of protein though.
Thanks again Kate...

boco - if the government says 5 probably not enough! Eat as much fruit and veg as possible but dont worry about counting portions....too time consuming!!

yoghurt is protein

Champagnesupernova

Custard Creams are certainly more handy..
but obviously not a great blood sugar balancing snack! (being white and sweet!)
I know some of the more nutritionally worthy snacks dont cut the mustard taste wise but once you feel better and more energised by eating stuff that helps energy you the custard creams wont even be on the radar!

Surely the yoghurt is protein saffy?

Thanks Kate. Have to confess I do often skip breakfast - time issues (packed lunches to make, kids to get to school etc) but also I never really feel like much for breakfast. I don't like porridge, nor any bread/stodge and really don't have time to be cooking eggs. I much prefer fruit and yoghurt, washed down with a cup of tea - but I do get that 11 o'clock light headed feeling - is fruit not enough for breakfast?

How many portions of fruit and vegetables do you recommend - is 5 enough?

Protein in snacks is all very well, but i have yet to find a proteiny snack that is as easy as a custard cream.

phew! nearly missed this! Hi Kate

gglimpopo

As we get older, body chemistry does slow up (thyroid, the way cells communicate with each other, liver etc, horomones and how those hormones are processed by the body) - so yes in a way...but I have found I am slimmer now than I was in my 30's - just because I really just didnt know HOW to eat..
I didnt know that the French targeted women in their forties..maybe that is something to do with body image too..ie wanting the same bodies as we had in our youth

By the way, if you are really time poor - the one thing NOT to skip is breakfast - this makes a HUGE difference (it means "breaking the fast") - this helps get your blood sugar balanced right from the start and the whole of the rest of day feels so much better

Do you think that it gets harder to lose weight , the older you get? Am also in France and the french certainly believe this - the supermarket shelves are laden with slimming products 'for the over forties'.

Or have I jsut had too many children and my body is trying to tell me something?

Sorry Saffy..
Eat Breakfast (eggs/rye toast - porridge (yuck, well I think so but if you like it..or muesli) plenty of ideas in the book

Then Snack - oat cakes/nuts and seeds fruit,
nutbutters on oatcakes, etc

Then lunch

Snack - mashed smoked mackerel on rye bread (mix with a tiny bit of yoghurt) or similar
Try and get a bit of protein in your snacks

Dinner

IF you balance the blood sugar - you will be less inclined to reach for the cream buns..

Dear Saffy

Balancing the blood sugar is one of the foundations of what I do as a nutritional therapist when patients come and see me..
Basically food "burns" turns into sugar (and therefore fat)at different rates - I am sure you have heard of the GI diets etc? I find it all too complicated for normal life..
So really simplistically

Food which is;
Sweet, fluffy (ie light in weight) or white
is fast burn
and Food that is Thick (heavy), fibrous (veg) protein is slow burn

you mention 'balancing your blood sugars' can you elaborate on this? I sometimes find that when I'm really busy I don't get chance to eat properly and end up feeling a bit weird - what foods can we eat/snack on that will stop this?

Not sure what to say about the tummy wrinkles..I am sure Lucy (who did the exercise stuff would have something to say on it..I think some people are really unlucky on that point..
From a nutritional point of view - it could be a shortage of essential fatty acids (fish oil, nuts and seeds) or vit C which makes the skin less elastic - it helps if this is sorted out before pregnancy though..

yes - only one daughter - but I think you are right - it is more difficult with the second..hormones, and time I believe...but balancing your blood sugar and your diet will help (I would say that!(

Morningpaper

Thanks for reading the book! You mention that you would have felt guilty if you had read the book whilst in the first stages..I haven’t done my job very well I am afraid…The whole point is that you should never feel guilty EVER about your weight….dont ever feel guilty! No-one should make you feel that..
If you are at the stage where you feel you would like to get healthier/fitter and can take that on – then great..but don’t do it because you should

MissChief - obviously I am not one of the educated ones - I apologise! I am a nutritionist and not writer and obviously that shows! Go Well and Good luck

hi Kate, it is now nearly 3 years since I popped my last sprog and although i didn't put on much weight and lost it all soon after, like most mumsnetters I feel like my tummy is letting me down. I wear a size 6 in my jeans but when i take them off the tum wobbles off again of its own accord.

I exercise 4 times a week, eat pretty healthily and have the occasional treat. Do i have to live with the saggy tum forever or can I do something to get rid of it?

kate do you only have one child? i find it all goes belly up after the second

currymummy

The C-section op is a major op – we forget that! It is really hard. But if you know what to eat and when…I am sure that it would make a huge difference, step by step. Don’t feel under pressure however (or don’t put yourself under pressure more like it)..you are OK!

PS You mention that long working hours and wine didn’t help before you got pregnant – I totally agree – nutrition is a time management issue – how to prioritise your food, and your exercise when there are a million and one drags on your time..

please advise "mums" not "mum's" ! There are lots of very educated people on here and it really gets up people's noses, especially when coming from "experts". Thanks.

Anna8888
Hi Anna
The French ( I am slightly making this up) but certainly the Italians (I lived in Italy so know more about Italy) have a much better general philosophy about eating generally – we, Brits, generally don’t have a clue – and it is not our faults..so much contradictory advice out there – in the book I teach mum’s that actually it is better to know what do eat before you even start to get pregnant and then you are not going to balloon in weight – this is not for aesthetic reasons – but for health reasons. It is much harder to get your eating habits/exercise habits “back in the tin” after pregnancy if the habit didn’t exist in the first place

sorry, personal bugbear of mine is misuse of 's, especially in a writer...

Am now several yrs down the line, still holding it together 2 kids later, not on a diet, but manage quite well to keep myself fit unaided so don't feel I'd have anything to learn from this book.

Kate Mosse is another matter, her book was invaluable to me in the early months of babyhood.

EffiePerine
Relax for sure!

poppy34
Lucy Wyndham- Read wrote the exercise sections – so I am sorry not to be able to answer those questions – I hate exercising so, I just walk and do some yoga (mostly in my dreams!) – But out pram walking is the best – taking the stairs when you can (with a front loading baby sling)-

perhaps she's a slow typer!
(She needs some jaffa cakes...shall I share?)

lulumama
Yes..I totally agree…I think we should celebrate and embrace changes to our body – things are not going to be exactly the same..and would we want them to be?
We are all under too much pressure (from mags, media) to be super thin/healthy etc but are they our values (intrinsic values) or values that are not our own (ie extrinsic values)-

Hi Divastop

That is absolutely great..I think we are tempted to something complicated but just 10 mins a day exercise is fab..well done

oh are you just plugging your book

So i try and eat good, slow release energy foods, and eat plenty of fruit and veg, I am Aware f the need for seeds
So why do my hormones make me eat an entire packet of jaffa cakes every month?

My name is Kate Cook and I am a Nutritional Therapist and Life Coach – I run a nutritional practice in Harley Street (London) and in the City (of London)

For those who haven’t read the book – I just thought I would give you a brief over view of the “philosophy”, if that’s OK?

The book is NOT about dieting! Although the strapline says “reclaiming” your body - (publisher’s words and not mine!) it is NOT about perfection by any means – it is all about trying to do your very best under very difficult and alien (!?) circumstances! It is about learning what to eat when and where in order to get your energy back and as a by-product of that, if you lose weight and that is what you want, well great. In fact I am TOTALLY against dieting and my whole mission in life is to get us women to STOP dieting (but knowing what to eat) and get on with being the hugely talented, lovely, funny, gorgeous creatures we are born to be.

The book is very practical and there are NO shoulds!

The book is meant to be funny (you don’t have to laugh at my jokes - honest) and light. The book is cheeky and basically me on a rant about all those irritatingly perfect mum’s who look like they haven’t got a teat, some old socks and a snotty tissue stuck to half a biscuit in their handbags!

I have a baby daughter and so struggle with being knackered and not having enough time too…so I am not perfect and don’t pretend to be either. But, I am told, the book is good read – keep it in your loo and dip into it!

Hi everyone and a big welcome to Kate Cook who is going to attempt to answer as many of your questions as possible over the next hour.

Over to you Kate....

Like others have said, I just have a problem with this whole 'reclaiming' notion. My dc haven't 'taken' my body, I've chosen to use it. I'm very happy with the way it's performed too, it's not always about the packaging...

bethboo, beware the Tummy Wrinkles

Oh what can be done about tummy wrinkles? They look worse the more weight you lose! In fact I occasionally think I might get knocked up again just so I can have a smooth belly for a while...

My question is, if I leap on bethoo in a jealous rage and savage all her size-6 jeans in fury, will anyone blame me?

my question is similar ot that of gggs. i got my body back within a week of having my ds. i actually weighed less after having him at 8 stone. i avoided stretch marks. i am now 22 weeks with my second and would like to know if history will repeat itself or will i find it hard to shift the bulge even though last time i did not do anything apart from bf?

Does it get harder to lose weight with each sucessive baby or is it an age thing. Skinny as a rake after the others, still well rounded (ha!) after number 6....

I would like to know how to get rid of c-section overhang!

testing

Ooh, and is it true that wobbly fat is easier to lose than hard, compacted fat? My thighs used to wobble (nice, I know) but after DS2 they are firmer, but not in a good way... firm like the fat you get on a side of beef.

I feel pretty, I feel pretty...

I'd love to know snack tips that give you the rush of a Mars bar (or a Red Bull and a fag) but aren't fattening or bad for you. Please. Fanky.

Can diastasis recti REALLY be fixed? I mean REALLY? Just with exercise? And how MUCH exercise and how long would it take? Because I feel I would really need to be chopped open and sewed back together...

My 2nd DS is 11 months and I lost my baby weight quite easily. I have another DS who's 6 and struggled with my weight for over 2 years when he was born. This time round I'm a lot busier and even though I'm back in all my pre-pregnancy clothes, my body feels a bit like play dough and I'd love to tone up. Have you got any toning tips? I eat sensibly and walk everywhere. I stuck to an exercise routine at the beginning of the year doing 4 sessions a week, which made a big difference but was far too difficult to sustain long term.

i agree that new mums, especially those going through the emotional hurricane of a firstborn, should not be pressurised into worrying about how they look/what they weigh. They should be given time to enjoy being a mum, nurturing, womanly, proud of their body for cooking and producing their beautiful babba. totally agree with lulumama that life changes in so many ways after you become a mum, embrace that and don't crave a return to your previous "self", either mentally or physically. You are in a new place now, forevermore a mother.

i lost my baby weight gradually over the first 4-5 months by pounding up and down the streets pushing a buggie - it got us both out of the house, some fresh air, a change of scene and i think it helped ds sleep better. I didn't really worry too much about eating loads of carbs, as long as i'd had my fruit first i just went ahead and ate as much buttered toast as i fancied!

Much more difficult NOW to get exercise as ds (just turned 2) won't go in his buggy and insists on walking at snails pace everywhere inspecting every leaf/drainpipe/bin on the way. No raising heart rate at his pace! Any tips for us toddler mums with cake weight not baby weight to lose?

a lot of the weight you gain in pregnancy is beyond your control. It correlates strongly with the amount of plasma progesterone. Also re breastfeeding. In some woment the extra calorie demand reduces their weight, in other women, their metabolism slows right down to allow breastfeeding without any weight loss (or even with a gain) - it makes sense in evolutionary terms! Everyone is different. Putting pressure on my to 'gain less weight' would not have helped at all.
But I have to say, I didn't need any pressure to nearly die of shock when I saw how much I weighed after having my first baby. My body has never come close to recovering, and it has made me sad.
I don't have a question, sorry!

totally agree with Reclaiming your body - sounds like piling more pressure on new mothers.

Great posts, Fillybuster and Lulumama.

Reclaiming your body - sounds like piling more pressure on new mothers.

As Hatcam mentioned earlier in the thread, it would be useful to know Kates' qualifications in this field.

`i think that we need to remember that pregnancy and birth should leave an impression on your body.. things do change.

your body won;t ever bee exactly the same, surely embracing that as part and parcel of being a mature woman is a good thing?

nothing wrong with encouraging healthy eating and excercise, but not at the cost of enjoying the first few weeks with a newborn .

lol 3 minutes.

seriously though,i lost all my pregnancy weight and more really quickly after dc 3 and 4,so when i found the weight wasnt shifting after dc 5 i decided that the antidepressants i was on were to blame and stopped taking them.i convinced myself that i was only depressed as i was fat.

anyhoo,to cut a long story short i went back on the tablets and i just do those '10 minute sloutions' excersise dvds every evening ,so at least i feel im doing something.i do try to eat sensibly as well.

i have nothing against encouraging new mothers to eat well and try to excersise as these things help mentally as well,but i dont like this 'reclaim your body' thing.

Hmmm. I'm really a bit [raised eyebrow emoticon] about this whole thing. First, I don't like the idea of 'reclaiming' my body - from whom and why? Surely it was my decision to share it with my dh and dcs by getting it to do what it seems to be reasonably ok at - procreation, production and (god I wish this began with a p but my brain isn't working) feeding? 18 weeks on from dc2 and there's not a hope in hell of me being anywhere near my pre-baby weight...but then, I'm exclusively bf-ing so surely my focus should be on being healthy and conscious rather than on diet? Admittedly I've got a stone and a half to go, but that seems less important than having a well-fed baby, enough energy to look after a toddler at the same time and my nerves not being on a knife-edge due to constant thoughts about food...?

all 3 minutes of it?

quailtiy time with dh can be part of the excercise regime,surely?

I lost all the weight within 2 weeks of giving birth.
Now 3 weeks on, I've regained 2kg.

I am absolutely ravenous all the time. How do you keep weight in check while breastfeeding????????????????

It was the same with my first pregnancy.
I do understand that lack of sleep=energy slump=craving and indulging in carbs.

Any advice here most welcome.

And yes of course, how, with the best intentions in the world do you fit in exercise routine between feeds on demand and quality time with other DC (not to mention husband)??

yawn....

think too many woman about returning to pre baby weight imo

MN this is crap

Hi Kate
I'm delighted to be back at my pre-ds weight only 9 weeks after his birth. [grin[However, I can't be too smug as my pre-ds weight was still a good bit over what it should be (my BMI is 26).

I'm breastfeeding so am constantly starving and it's SO easy to grab a custard cream (or three ) than an apple.

He's not really in a routine yet so I'm never sure how long he's going to sleep for during the day so how can I fit exercise in?

Help!

yes, mental health far more important in the early weeks (months, years)

I have been eating lots of forrin bread since I read this book

Rye bread all over the place

My bowels are REGULAR

I must admit I REALLY consciously ate according to what I felt I NEEDED during broth pregnancies but went from 8 stone to 12 stone. It was awful with morning sickness because if I stopped eating then I kept being sick, so I just had to eat and eat to avoid vomiting. Argh. Have had massive problems with ligament and spinal damage ever since. (In fact I have just come back from another bloody appointment for my buggered sacro-illiac joints at the ortho department!)

ANYHOO

I read this book and I liked it, although I agree with the early posters who said that I think it's VERY unhelpful for new mums to worry about this sort of thing. Their job is to feed the baby and rest and that should be ALL they are worried about. I spent the first few weeks of my newborn-baby stage having DH bring me belgian buns and bacon butties and if I'd read this book I would have felt very bad about that. Women have enough self-hatred about their bodies post-birth and frankly it's only really luck and time that will heal that - talking about taking wholegrains into the labour ward is frankly mean IMO. New mothers should NOT be thinking baout such things and definitely shouldn't be WORRYING about them. Worry about your nips, not your hips.

HOWEVER apart from that I did like the book - I thought it was full of common sense advice and sensible food advice - the sort of thing that Cod and Moondog might have cobbled together. The pages were nice and SHINY and the illustrations were fab.

One criticism is that the 'regaining your sanity' part was right at the end and I strongly think it should START the book.

My only question: Did the two authors "regain" their bodies with or without childcare?

hatcam -someone asking for you over on pregnancy re exercise query.

Zazen - although this author sounds really well qualified in her area, you should get proper advice if you think you have diastasis recti (separation of abdominals). It's easy to self check if you want to see how much/if it's healed.

Happy to advise if not sure.

Anna: I put on about 2.5 stone (about 18 kilos?) with DS and no stretchmarks at all. I guess most of it is due to skin type and genetics rather than weight. At the beginning of this pg I weigh exactly the same as before DS, so it will be interesting to see what happens this time (reviews diet of potatoes and savoury snacks)

I don't like the phrase 'reclaiming your body' much. It sounds so liberating, like 'reclaiming the streets', kind of faux-feminist when actually it isn't. No-one has taken it away from you, no-one has forced you to do anything, it was your choice. Get fit and slim if you wish but don't make it sound like something it isn't.

Anna - I'm in Belgium and I refuse to be weighed during this pregnancy. My midwife and doctor know me better then to try and make me!

It's my experience that the women who do put on 20 -25 kgs are the ones who have a lot of fluid retention and the ones who start off very thin.

As for stretchmarks - I have stretchmarks from growth spurts during puberty - despite never being overweight - stretchmarks from engorgement from breasfeeding, and stretchmarks that appeared in the last two weeks of my first pregnancy. I obviously have skin that is prone to stretchmarks.

And agree with divastrop - it's not necessary to lose your baby bulge to have body confidence. I've learnt that dieting and stressing about my figure lead me to me more unhealthy and stressed.

i'd like to know why its necessary to lose your 'baby bulge' in order to have body confidence?after 5 children and years of extreme rapid weight gain/loss due to hormonal contraception,depression and stress i will never have a flat tummy without surgery and quite frankly im sick of worrying because i dont look how i'm supposed to.

Interesting - I would like to know what are her recommendations on the dreaded numb belly overhang after a crash cesarean.

I only put on a stone and a half with pregnancy but have this huge numb belly. I do a lot of pelvic floor exercises so my pelvic floor is fine. Still am a stone overweight after 9 months b/f.

And what about exercising when the abdominal muscles have separated (diastis)? Mine had separated for two years pp.

Also - is there any point in buying a post natal corset four years after the birth and two sizes up from pre preg weight? My waist is 30 inches when it used to be 26 inches? Pregnancy waist was 45 inches.

didn't think it was churlish... actually thought was a good question and wondered why hadn't thought to ask myself.

Thank you v. much, I think I asked that question a bit churlishly sorry (bad day) but I'm totally evangelical that exercise plays a vital part in body confidence, strength and good health - afer all the human body is built to move, not be sedentary. How does she build advice on fitness and exercise into her guidance without qualifications in this area? Or does she feel that activity is entirely secondary to nutrition?

And I mean that as an honest, straightforward question - sometimes when you write these things down it sounds like you're being difficult, which I'm not. Am genuinely interestd.

not sure re exercise hatcam but does seem to have some experience as nutrition/life coach

link

I'd like to know what are her qualifications for exercise recommendation!?

5 years down the line and I have still not lost the baby weight. I really want to start living a healthy life but my normal life keeps on getting in the way, I have little time to exercise and I'm just living on soups, salads, cheese on toast and takeaways!. Any tips?

I was 2 stone over weight when I got pregnant - I blame my long work hours and large glasses of wine! I had an emergency c-section in March and my little man was tongue tied so I couldn't breast feed him (a traumatic experience but once it was diagnosed I was exhausted and he needed food so we went on to the bottle). I'm really dissapointed because I'd hoped that breastfeeding would help me get some shape back. I'm now 3 stone heavier than I should be and I have a hidious overhang and I feel so unsexy that it is getting in the way of my relationship with my husband. I eat fairly sensibly and I know it's supposed to be a simple case of calories in versus calories burned so I have up'd my expercise but nothings happening - HELP?

anna8888- that is really interesting as currently struggling with the weight gain advice.

I live in France, where obstetricians routinely enforce recommend a maximum weight gain of 9kg in pregnancy - less if a women is overweight before pregnancy begins. This is to ensure that a woman regains her pre-pregnancy figure as quickly as possible and avoids stretchmarks, undue strain on her pelvic floor etc.

I gave birth in England where the midwives seemed deeply unconcerned about my weight gain. I did, indeed, gain 18kg during my pregnancy, but lost it all within 6 months of giving birth (and was thinner still after a further few months of breastfeeding).

Although my body didn't suffer unduly from pregnancy, I do wonder whether my skin on my tummy would be less crepey today had I not gained so much weight. And when I read on MN about stretchmarks, really wobbly skin, severe pelvic floor problems etc, and also read that some women gain 20-25 kg during pregnancy, I wonder which advice to believe - the English or the French?

recommendations for how to build in exercise to get back into shape/fit into post baby routine -and also how soon can you start doing this (assumign you've got medical all clear post birth)

hmmm

I'd ask if you think it's necessary to worry about losing the baby weight when struggling with a young baby, or should you just relax? From experience, worrying about weight issues when you have a colicky non-sleeping baby is the LAST thing you need.

On Weds June 4th from 1-2pm we'll be welcoming Kate Cook, co-author of An Unfit Mother. The book offers "inspiration, motivation and guidance on how to rebuild your body confidence and explains how it's possible to reclaim your body post birth, and lose your baby-bulge swiftly, safely and successfully."

Kate is a mother and a nutritional therapist and life coach, who has helped over 4,500 patients to take their health into their own hands so she's full of great advice.

If you can't make it on Weds, you can post advance questions here and we'll try and get them answered. We hope though that as many of you as possible will grab a (low fat) sarnie and come and join in the chat on Weds lunchtime. See you then.

MNHQ