21mth twin girls starting nursery (but separately!?)(5 Posts)
Hi all, we have recently moved to Australia to be closer to family and for various reasons our twin girls who are 21mths have never been to nursery. I was on maternity leave for a year then took redundancy then we moved here and well, here we are.
It's extremely hard to get childcare places where I am despite there being loads of childcare centres. I have been on 14 waiting lists and by some miracle, one of them has a place for 2 days per week. But only one place. They have said I can use one day for one of the twins and the other day for the other but they've never been apart and so I don't know what to do. One of them is quite clingy and I imagine will hate it at first, the other isn't clingy and so could go either way. I have just started back at work and the clingy one screams her head off when I leave in the mornings, the other one just watches me go and gets on with it. My mum is currently looking after them but she can't get out much and they have no little friends yet and so my desire to get them out socialising.
My question to other mums is have any of you had experience of this and if so, how'd it go? Did they fret, hate it, cry all day etc? Or was it okay? They get on well, sleep in the same room (not same cot) but are different personalities (they aren't identical either).
Any advice/thoughts greatly appreciated.
its a great idea to get them socialising if nursery is a onger term solution. the confident one wouldnt stick by the unconfident one anyway! even if they did go in together, its ot like the confident one would stay and be a friend for the unconfident one - at 21 months - they see somethig shiny - or toast , and they're off
My dts started nursery full time at 12 months. They went through a phase of biting so we tried taking some time off and having one home on their own, but they were both miserable. They don't play together that much at nursery, but they do seem to need to know the other is there.
I'm not sure what I'd do in your situation. One day a week is not really enough for either to settle in at nursery, but it must be hard work for your mum right now.
Does the nursery do settling in days? Could you try sending just the more confident one until another place comes up? How much notice will you have to give if it isn't working out?
My 2.5 year old twin boys go to nursery at different times & days. It works really well for us. The main reason is we think it is unfair for my MIL (who is 65 and not in the best of health) to look after 2 x 2year olds. However she is very keen to help and we are trying to keep our costs down (we have 3 under 5 so spend an obscene amount on childcare) . It's too complicated to explain fully, but each boy goes to the nursery on his own 1.5 days a week (one full day, one morning) and goes to nursery 1.5 days with his brother (3 afternoons)
The boys seem to really like spending time apart. To be fair my twins have never really liked each other very much, and don't seem to derive much comfort from each other (for instance hated sharing a cot when they were babies) It's getting a lot better now they are 2.5, they play together nicely sometime, but they do fight a lot of the time as well. I think the quieter twin has certainly benefited from time apart from his brother, and his speach is coming along a lot better.
Like I said, it works well for us, but you know your girls best.
Thanks everyone. Appreciate all your thoughts/advice.
When I got to the nursery yesterday to talk to them (after I posted here) they told me they could do Wed and Thurs for both so it was just Monday's that they had only place for. So we're going for 2 in for 2 days and then will alternate Monday's until an extra place comes up. Hopefully it won't be too bad for who ever is there on her own on a Monday because it's just one day and once a fortnight (per girl). My mum is gutted to be 'losing her girls' but she looks so exhausted when I get home each night, she needs the break.
Fingers crossed we'll get them all going at once at some stage soon. Childcare here is a misery (trying to actually get a place) so I feel like we have to take what we can get at the moment..
Thanks again all.
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