A Christmas hand-holding thread for all who have suffered losses or are waiting

(36 Posts)
spiderlight Mon 24-Dec-12 19:05:19

Just that, really....I'm trying to be Christmassy for my DS, but all the while I'm thinking 'this time last week....' and dreading going to stay with the in-laws on Thursday. We'd planned to tell them about the baby by making a card with a scan pic wearing a Santa hat sad

hhhhhhh Sun 30-Dec-12 13:09:14

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Quodlibet Sun 30-Dec-12 16:32:22

Sorry to hear that Monthly. I empathise completely with the feeling that you need a break to get over the Xmas break, like everyone on this thread ours has been incredibly stressful. Hope you and DH get to spend some quiet time together to recovering and being kind to yourselves.

hhhhhhh Sun 30-Dec-12 19:27:03

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

spiderlight Tue 01-Jan-13 15:09:40

i survived four days with the in-laws, primarily by coming down with flu as soon as we got there and hiding in the bedroom/behind a book most of the time. Our lovely little toddler niece attached herself to me and MIL kept saying that she could just see me with a little girl - so hard not to say anything, but I couldn't ruin their Christmas. Got home to discover that I've missed my scan because the letter arrived on Friday for an appointment the same day and we were away until Sunday, so I'll have to ring tomorrow and hope they'll rebook it or say I don't need it. The one good thing is that the bleeding has totally stopped. Am feeling lousy with flu though and have had a 40-degree fever for three days. Never felt so ill in my life as I did yesterday. I'd be worried about infected retained products, but DH has the same thing so it's probably just a coincidence.

So sorry, MonthlyWishes sad

spiderlight Tue 01-Jan-13 15:09:48

i survived four days with the in-laws, primarily by coming down with flu as soon as we got there and hiding in the bedroom/behind a book most of the time. Our lovely little toddler niece attached herself to me and MIL kept saying that she could just see me with a little girl - so hard not to say anything, but I couldn't ruin their Christmas. Got home to discover that I've missed my scan because the letter arrived on Friday for an appointment the same day and we were away until Sunday, so I'll have to ring tomorrow and hope they'll rebook it or say I don't need it. The one good thing is that the bleeding has totally stopped. Am feeling lousy with flu though and have had a 40-degree fever for three days. Never felt so ill in my life as I did yesterday. I'd be worried about infected retained products, but DH has the same thing so it's probably just a coincidence.

So sorry, MonthlyWishes sad

Carolinewilliams Tue 01-Jan-13 16:27:41

Hi, sorry to hear of all your losses. I too am currently going through a miscarriage, at 10 weeks, after 3 horrific weeks of waiting to see if my baby would grow. I've had no interest in Christmas or new year and glad it's all over and I don't feel like I have to put a brave face on anymore. This was our first baby and we were so excited to find out we were pregnant. I'm struggling with the miscarriage - physically the pain is horrific (mainly in the evening, don't know if this is normal or not?)and the loss of blood and clots is so upsetting- and emotionally I can't quite come to terms with it. I'm convincing myself that my scan in two days will show a heartbeat - such an awful thing. So sorry for you all. Hope that 2013 brings you all healthy pregnancies xxx

spiderlight Wed 02-Jan-13 17:29:05

I had all my pain in the evenings as well. My GP said it's quite common. Prescription co-codamol and ibuprofen helped, as did hot wheat bags and TENS, but it was still awful. So sorry you're going through it as well sad

hhhhhhh Wed 02-Jan-13 18:28:29

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JBrd Fri 04-Jan-13 01:07:04

Sorry to hear about all your losses. I'm also currently going through miscarriage, would've been 10 weeks yesterday. It's been such a rollercoaster, and I feel completely drained, both physically and emotionally.
I started bleeding heavily on Dec 16, passing clots and all, and had a scan at the EPU a couple of days later, when they saw an empty sac.
However, my hCG levels from the 2 subsequent blood tests went up instead of down, so they asked me back for another scan on the 24th, we had to cancel all our Christmas travel plans - and to my utter surprise found a heartbeat! I was gobsmacked and dumbfounded... But worried at the same time because I was measuring more than 2 weeks smaller than I should've been (and I was very sure about my dates).

However, around NYE, I had started to become a bit more positive that this might all have a good outcome, started making plans again etc. The bleeding had also stopped - when on Tuesday evening I suddenly passed a huge lump of tissue, followed by a smaller one on Wednesday morning. I took them to EPU, where they confirmed my fears - it was pregnancy tissue, and I am miscarrying after all.
The EPU will not do anything else, no scan, no blood test, as everything seems to take a natural course. They were concerned about risk of infection, though, so I am now on antibiotics. I am to do a pregnancy test in 3 weeks, and that's it.

I am lucky in that the physical side of it has not affected me too much so far, the bleeding is manageable, and so is the pain, but I'm struggling emotionally... I have a DS, and during that pregnancy I worried so much about mc. This time round I was very naive to assume that all would be OK, just because it went well before.
I feel so tired and drained, could sleep all the time.

spiderlight Mon 07-Jan-13 13:51:04

So sorry, JBrd - what a rollercoaster sad

hhhhhhh Tue 08-Jan-13 20:42:07

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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