Has anyone else split with their partner just weeks from giving birth with a 2 year old and/or a sleeping disorder/ no other support? Please tell me how you managed.

(6 Posts)
totalfandango Tue 29-Jan-13 18:52:15

Hi there, my second child is due in just over 5 weeks and I have a 2 year old son and suffer from chronic insomnia ( tried everything to deal with this believe me). My partner cannot cope with the effects of this plus huge stress we have been under the last couple of years and our relationship has pretty much disintegrated. I am scared to be on my own, unwell with two young kids but the constant conflict with him is killing me and I don't want my kids growing up with it.

Just wondered if anyone else became a single parent in similar circumstances and how you managed to cope. I have very little support, ie no parents and friends all work full time, have own lives etc.

Thanks.

cestlavielife Tue 29-Jan-13 20:16:52

You going to have to buy in some help. Make some space and get an au pair to help with the toddler.

Or get toddler into fifteen hours free childcare talk to hv.

Or ask local church for volunteers on a rota.

If you try and do it all you will collapse.

Have partner move put but have him take the toddler regularly or is he too useless?

totalfandango Tue 29-Jan-13 22:11:38

Thanks for reply. No space or finance for au pair, barely enough of eithef for 2 kids, but son does go to nursery. I could manage if I slept but I just don't at all or maybe 3-4 hours a night. I will also be recovering from c section. Partner not useless but has no choice to work away from home 2-3 weeks at a time another reason we both stressed and exhausted.

Would a church really help me? I wouldn't know how to ask.

scooterchik Wed 30-Jan-13 21:04:25

So sorry to hear of your situation - things sound tough but be strong and positive for your children. It will have a negative and detrimental effect bringing your children up around conflict and tension. If you can make a break from the relationship it will be hard but you will probably thank yourself for doing it as living in an unhappy situation is mentally and emotionally draining and to be a good parent you need to be a happy mama and positive role model. Go to your HV and find out what family support is on offer as they may be able to refer you to an outreach service. With regards to churches, check the notice boards in your local parishes.

DoubleYew Sun 03-Feb-13 16:53:54

Check if Homestart is in your area.

chroniclackofimagination Sun 03-Feb-13 17:05:20

I wonder if it's your relationship or the strain of exhaustion and pressure. My DP and I were constantly fighting after DS1 was born, we went for relationship counselling which helped. We then had a very happy close year until I got pregnant again, couldn't sleep so always exhausted, we started bickering again. The end of the pregnancy was the worst. After DS2 was born we declared an amnesty. Both of us were unreasonable for different reasons and in different ways. We decided we would each forgive the other for being an asshole, and agreed no discussing any contentious issues or big decisions until DS2 is 3 months. He's 12 weeks tomorrow and we are stumbling out of the fog again.
If your partner is abusive, bad to you or a crap co-parent that's one thing but if you are just winding each other up all the time then it's worth remembering the most difficult bit is right now. Things will get easier six months from now, maybe you could reevaluate then.

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