custody and social services.

(12 Posts)
Piemother Tue 15-Jan-13 19:43:57

Unless ss threatened removal at the time don't bat an eyelid he is calling your bluff. If ss still has concerns they would still be involved etc etc

I quit cooking roasts they were under appreciated and too much fecking washing up. Feck that grin

Total failure as a mother obviously.

Don't let the fool bully you I expect you could write a longer list about the qualities he lacks.

balia Mon 14-Jan-13 18:08:48

Don't let him scare you. My DH's ex has mental health issues and for long periods every year her house becomes uninhabitable and she moves back in with her mother. For several YEARS they couldn't use the bathroom. At no point was this considered an issue serious enough to remove the children from her care.

If your ex was so concerned about the kids welfare he wouldn't have buggered off and left them in your care when the crisis was going on, now, would he?

IneedAgoldenNickname Mon 14-Jan-13 18:03:52

We were separated at the time, but got back together again towards the end of it all, he said it was nothing to do with him as he didn't live here.

When I told my Dad about the roast dinner he laughed and told my step Mum he wanted a divorce on those grounds grin

ihearsounds Mon 14-Jan-13 17:59:55

Sounds like he's trying to scare you. Don't let him get to you.
You worked with SS at every turn. He couldn't be bothered, because it wasn't anything to do with him? I presume you two were still involved then? Well big shock, it had a lot to do with him, and somewhere on the files this will be written that he never showed to meetings.. Let him try and use this, because it will bite him on his arse.

Keep a record of contact. Try and keep changes etc formal - email/text. Can you show that you have offered midweek and he has refused because he works? Because the instant question to that is, how can he have full time care if he works, when he cannot organise himself to see children during the week at the moment.

And not being a proper mum because you don't do a weekly roast. That is really funny. I'm not a proper mum then. Neither are millions of mums who live in countries that don't do a roast. grin Let him try and use that as a reason, and watch legal professionals laugh at him.

IneedAgoldenNickname Mon 14-Jan-13 17:54:36

I have posted before yes, and he didn't do anything then. I'm hoping it's the same this time.

IneedAgoldenNickname Mon 14-Jan-13 17:53:56

Lol true and thanks grin I must have missed the small print in the Mummy manual about roasts!

Was it you that posted before about your ex threatening this, or is there two of these twunts out there?

Please try not to worry.

LittleChimneyDroppings Mon 14-Jan-13 17:50:53

Well we all make mistakes. Just be thankful you're not with him now. If he's trying to get custody on the grounds that you don't make a Sunday roast, well, I don't think you have too much to worry about. grin

IneedAgoldenNickname Mon 14-Jan-13 17:46:44

I don't know what grounds, other than wanting to let his new gf think he's amazing, and I'm not! He told me a few weeks ago I'm not a real Mum as I don't cook a roast every week confused

At the moment he has them every Sunday, plus over night every other Saturday. Holidays are booked in with eachother iyswim, and weekend can Change is needed, ie if I'm going to visit family he misses a Sunday. I've offered him a weekday eve but he said no as he works.

Tbh I think he's trying to scare me more than anything. sad can't believe I wanted to spend my whole life with him!

LittleChimneyDroppings Mon 14-Jan-13 17:33:33

On what grounds does he think he will get custody? What happened in the past isn't a reason, as long as all is still well and good and there are no further causes for concern.

Labro Mon 14-Jan-13 17:29:06

No, on its own its not enough for him to be given full custody. Especially as you worked with ss to resolve the issues, then any request for information would resolve any issue. It may be that a court might look at sharing your childrens residence between you, but this is rarely a straight 50/50 split of time. If he wishes to make such an application, then it would be referred for mediation to see if access can be agreed (on average every other weekend, a tea time visit in the middle of the week and 4 weeks holiday spread throughout the year) Don't allow his attitude to upaet or unnerve you, providing you apply the welfare checklist (have a look at the cafcass website) and work in the best interests of the children then if it does end up in court it shows you've tried to be amicable. Make sure any discussion of access arrangements is in writing, your local CAB can help you word something.

IneedAgoldenNickname Mon 14-Jan-13 17:01:35

Hi, I'm hoping someone here will have some experience that can help me.

I have previously had social services involved with my family, due to the mess that my house became
blush. However, my parenting ability was never questioned and the case was closed about a year ago. I have not heard from ss since.

However my ex is now hinting that he is going for custody of our 2 ds (8 and 6) I think this is because he's got a new gf who has DC and a baby on the way, so obviously he wants to be the family man [Hmm]

He thinks that my previous involvement with ss will be cause for him winning the case, is this true? Or will they look at how things are now, and leave the past in the past? Incidentally, he never turned up to any of the meetings in the past claiming it was nothing to do with him!

Thanks.

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