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I split from my husband 6 months ago and I still question it every day. Mostly because of how I feel and how my DD feels.
She is almost 2 and she loves him, and she has been so happy having him staying with us over Xmas. The first thing she has said every morning is Daddy? And I feel so cruel that I could take him away from her again.
But at the same time, I sometimes feel she is a bit better without him there. Over the last few days we've been fighting which has really upset her. And he interferes with her meal times by distracting her, then forcing her to eat. And he deliberately provokes her for a reaction.
I also felt he was abusive towards me, which is why I had no doubts about leaving (but now the opposite as I'm wondering about letting him back). I felt he was ruining my relationship with my daughter by constantly putting me down, making me shout and being unhappy.
But on the other hand it is really hard being a single parent. Probably harder for me as I'm pregnant, so had no support at a difficult time. I have also moved to a new area, so have no friends near by.
My husband has been staying with us over xmas and I can't believe what a help it has been.
Are you living separately now? If you haven't done counselling I think you certainly should, just so you are confident yourself that you made the right decision.
I think you need to look at what you have both done to rebuild your marriage really. Have you had counselling, together or individually to get to the root of the issues ? How long have things been difficult ? How much of it is due to the 'normal' pressures of life with a young family, and the inevitable changes that occur in a long term relationship ?
My ex husband was/is abusive, and he ended up having an affair so i am very glad that I am no longer in that relationship. But if I had the choice to go it alone, or work at some resolvable issues, I'd fight tooth and nail not to be a single parent every time. i have a number of friends and family members who walked away from their marriages because they were a bit bore, a bit resentful of the drudge of life with small kids, a bit fed up of having no money - IMO all of this are issues which could be resolved.
Splitting up will have a huge impact on your finances (assuming that you're used to having 2 wages coming in), and on your children.
Could you cope with exP starting a new relationship, possibly having a second family? It's very difficult to handle.
I'd never suggest someone stay in an unhappy relationship as it does no-one any good long term. But have you thought about couples counselling? Make sure you've checked every avenue before you make a final decision.