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changing surname by deed poll to both our names?

8 replies

pod3030 · 23/12/2012 17:37

just that really. when dd was born i really wanted her to have both our surnames. He said most definitely not. 12 months later, we have separated and exh has/had little input into her life. can i change her surname, and does he have to give permission?

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MayTheOddsBeEverInYourFavour · 23/12/2012 17:44

If has PR (which he will if you were married or his name is on the birth certificate) then you will need his permission to change her name. Do you think he might be persuaded to agree? I can see why you'd want both names

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gilmoregirl · 23/12/2012 17:49

Hi
I changed my DS's surname. He has Ex P's surname. I added my surname to the end of his name, effectively changing his surname from Ex's to mine but keeping Ex's name as a middle name.

I did not need Ex's consent. We are in scotland and not married so think it was more straight forward than it is if you were married.

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pod3030 · 23/12/2012 17:53

yes his name is on the birth certificate. i think he will react with anger initially, but i want my original instincts honoured. He squashed me down before. thanks for the reply, will have to have a think how i can put it so it sounds a Good Idea.

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MayTheOddsBeEverInYourFavour · 23/12/2012 18:19

Good luck pod, a friend of mine in a similar situation just used the arguement with her ex that if he agreed that both parents were equally important then it should only be fair that both names are represented

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pod3030 · 23/12/2012 18:28

thanks May, that's a good way of putting it.

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alepetrucci · 24/12/2012 16:00

Do you live in Scotland? If you do then you don't need your ex's permission. Otherwise, you've either got to get his permission, or get a court order (a Specific Issue Order). More info here.

If you want to get a court order to remove your ex's surname, the courts probably won't agree. But they're much more likely to agree to a double-barrelled name.

Listen, if he doesn't agree, I would tell him that unless he agrees, you will go to court anyway. It's not that you're taking away his name, you just want to add your own. Hopefully he will agree and that will be that.

By the way, you've got to get him to agree in writing. All the best!

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makemineapinot · 24/12/2012 19:46

I'm in Scotland and my dc are now known by my Aiken name but still have his surname on passports etc as I was told he would have to agree to changing thief surnames legally. Pain cos I've kept married name on passport so we're all the same but got maiden name on driving licence so can't ever hire. Car abroad. But worth it to be free and be me again x

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pod3030 · 24/12/2012 20:00

thanks all. am not in scotland. yes, i don't want to obliterate his name (not that he bloody earns it) i want to add my name . But he's a touchy superior control freak and would make the issue into a big ordeal . he would probably eventually make me believe that i am the most unreasonable, stupid person in the world and he is doing me a favour by ,very kindly, pointing out the error of my ways. and i'd thank him for it. grrr.
can you tell i'm feeling helpless?
thanks for the link, i just need to find my ladyballs and broach it with him.