all the good things about being a single parent?

(33 Posts)
devilcakes Thu 27-Sep-12 23:11:45

as the title says really, im newly single to two wonderful children and im hoping you can tell me all good things i have to look forward to.

crackcrackcrak Thu 04-Oct-12 19:08:52

Being able to have my mum to stay/actually anyone to stay without risking an atmosphere or exp embarrassing me somehow!

Meglet England Thu 04-Oct-12 19:39:47

I don't think it gets easier TBH. Those first few months without an abusive partner and being on maternity leave were a doddle, I never even cried. I wasn't wasting wrinkles on him grin.

While it is cripplingly hard 4 years in (2 DC's, work PT) I do like the following;

King sized bed to myself.
No junk food in the fridge <<vom to ginsters pies, cheap meat and lucozade>>
No one spending £50 a week down the pub.
I know what state my finances are in (not great but we muddle through).
Can feel smug when Y1 DS is moved into the Y2 group for maths as it's my pushy-ness that got him there grin.
No computer games in the house rotting the dc's brains.
No more feeling scared in the house.

Meglet England Thu 04-Oct-12 21:26:07

oh, and you get to indulge in sleb crushes without anyone rolling their eyes at you. <<waves at AmIthatbad>>

crackcrackcrak Thu 04-Oct-12 21:43:25

Basic consideration of me/the dc by others seems like a huge luxury.
I am currently sitting in the dark settling dd. my mum is here and she wants to see something in the telly but she's closed the living room door and turned the sound down - and ignored the kitchen full of noisy washing up because unlike exp she actually thinks its an idea to be quiet and let a 3 year old get to sleep!

There are lots of details but what it's really about for me is just atmosphere in the house. I've gone from dreading coming home to being utterly content most of the time just because I can relax in my own house grin (however messy it is or worries I've got I can still feel calm here)

nikcname Thu 04-Oct-12 22:00:49

Responsibility is similar to Choice. You have responsibility but it is easier to choose what you think is right. Negotiation not needed.

I've been a single parent for 11 of DS's 15 years.

Used to argue with xp about who was getting up in the night, who was cleaning after work. When its just you it gets done and it is easy!

DS and I have movie nights, go for dinner, chat more openly than we would if his dad was around. Absolutely love our relationship.

Today he was off school while I was at work, he put a load of washing on, did a tiny amount of revision grin and emptied and refilled the dishwasher.

Would probably be different if I was a single parent later in ds's life, as expectations would be different.

WildWorld2004 Thu 04-Oct-12 22:06:43

For me its getting to spend time with my dd. When her dad & i were together everything was about him and what he wanted. Now my dd & i can do what we want when we want. We have a better life.

I didnt choose to be a single parent but i am glad that i am.smile

AmIthatbad Thu 04-Oct-12 22:38:31

Meglet, you are so right, I can currently indulge myself in my new "hobby" without having to explain why I spend just about every free bit of time I have surfing the net and watching you tube over and over grin. I'm not sure, what with working FT, and caring for DD, that I would actually have any time at the moment to fit a man in.

Plus I don't need to explain to anyone why I have suddenly developed an interest in golf wink

RedBushedT Sat 06-Oct-12 19:51:15

No more horrid atmosphere.
I get to do what I want. The children are much calmer and more relaxed.
I am much calmer too!

If I want to have toast for dinner, I can. It's ALL my decision
I have more disposable income now despite earning less, purely because I don't have ex pissing it away.
So I can budget for holidays for me & the children. And budget for treats & Christmas etc.

I love being responsible for my own life. Even the hard bits are easier now I'm on my own smile

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