I was awarded sole residency of my now seven year old son after a very ugly battle where i faced all sorts of false allegations by a very, very angry and blinkered ex who had made his long term partner, prior to me, out to be mental and claimed she had tried to kill him... he has a long, long history of sociopathic behvaviour, not just against me but against anyone who crosses him (namely ex partners), but if you met him you'd never suspect given he is very smooth and highly intelligent. This combination has caused me continued grief just trying to raise my son in peace, which doesnt seem possible given he is a constant interference in everything i try to do - even little things like make a dentist appointment for him, dad has got to ambush it and be involved... he reinterprets court orders and tries to bully me, the list is endless... and its non stop.
So, even though i left him, I find that I am in no way free to live in peace, least until my son is 16. and its probably taken ten years off my life, the strain he has caused just dealing with him.
he has a very generous contact schedule. he always has done. i was never hostile to contact even though i knew what he was like. the courts awarded him half holidays in spite of my pleas that he was in fact an abusive sociopath (which went entirely ignored by the courts), who thought that as long as our son was not under physical threat he was fine with dad. they all treat me as though I've made it all up, and i tell you it makes you feel so very, very low and alone.
he also sees our son alternate weekends and one night during the week. and all of it, all of that time, he uses any chance to sideline me as my son's custodial parent. even his school treat me as a second class parent - i have missed out on information put in my sons' school bag because dad happens to collect him that day, and doesnt tell me, nor does the school, even though I've complained in the past... i was once chased on the school grounds at collection time by the receptionist who asked out of the blue did i still have 'parental responsibility' of my son, even though they had the residency order in their files... and latest news, they just made him parent governor, again, knowing some of the history. go figure.
just feeling really low because ive been through so much, and i still cant live in peace. ive tried hypnotherapy, exercise, loads of things, and i still feel so under his thumb. my partner of three years, and bless him, he is not a sociopath, doesnt understand why its so hard for me to just 'ignore' him. and to be honest im not sure either. i guess i worry that if im not on guard, he will pounce.
anyone experience similar, and how do you manage?
it has all seemed all about father's rights, and no one seems to consider my rights, or my son's best interest including the courts, who have let me and my son down in a big way apart from having the sense to award me residency. if i went into detail about all that my ex has done to me, all the strings he's pulled, etc, it would take up volumes.
he has used his parental 'rights' to cause all sorts of grief... and nobody cares.
finally, i note the story on here and in the papers about forced mediation before court. three years ago, i was made to go to mediation, not once, but twice, with my ex, even though i left him due to domestic abuse - so in practice that is NOT an exemption if you're on legal aid, you still have to go... and they are not without bias, either. the first mediator did not believe he was abusive x
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Coping with a sociopathic ex...
39 replies
bwhiskey · 27/02/2011 22:23
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BromptonBugle ·
01/03/2011 16:14
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