Sandy wrote:
"unfriendly, harsh, boring, stressful"
I agree that's how hers was (nightmare) but not all are. On the whole v old-fashioned teaching concepts, v resistant to change. It's one size fits all. The teachers who bemoan this have no scope to change it. The post-PISA panic is widespread.
I find ours friendly, emphasises (fairly new concept here) tolerance, is trying to focus on social skills and will be starting a "Faustlos" Gewalt prevention scheme soon... all goodly stuff. Over-emphasis on worksheets, not much practical work but a good teacher will balance it out a bit more. The pastoral side is not as strong as I would like but ours is not like Sandy's old one thankfully.
What is not good is that the classes move at the pace of the fastest pupils and if your child needs more time, has ANY kind of learning difficulty, or just struggles, then the pressure is enormous. Y1 & Y2 are easy, reassuring, more focussed on the individual child's attainment & potential. There are no Noten, just smileys/stickers.
The Empfehlung for secondary is what dominates Yrs 3 & 4. It's barking mad to segregate children aged 9/10 into "Abitur & University" and "blue-collar vocational" imo. Imagine telling a 9 yr old in England, "You won't manage A-levels" This is after only 3 yrs of primary school too
Y3 they get Noten, they have a cycle of tests, maybe 1 week test-free then 2 a week, as so:
maths test
dictation
Aufsatz/essay
science test
music test
ethics/religion test
maybe a week off, maybe 2 if lucky, then the cycle begins again.
Some thrive on it, some don't. There's a lot of papers, little practical work, no "he can't do maths formulaically, but can visually so let's see how we can help him"..
Taipo's comment about bright middle-class children doing well is spot on. Ours are bright & middle class but s1 has a mild learning difficulty which means he need more time and no pressure. He's now in a secondary which gives him and that his marks are 1s and 2s, his confidence is back, he's thriving. Y3 & Y4 were hell for him and us.
S2 struggles with German, is shy, if he doesn't understand something he retreats into his shell, hates school and when I spoke to his teacher about it she said, "I know but I don't have time to deal with individual children."
If I were you I'd try the local primary and if your s is happy and copes (as many many do ) then he'll have the advantage of local friends, sport,music etc. We live in a small village and I love the way the children can go out and about. From about aged 7/8 the boys cycle to the pool to meet friends, are out and about, always find someone they know from school/sport to swim, go the youth club with etc. The schools tend not to have any extra-curricular activities so the Vereine are key to socialising.
Thinking back, s1's class had 21 children. I'd say (in a place this size you get to know) that about 19 got through primary fine and most are happy in their new secondaries.