Dh is seriously suggesting we move to Spain, He knows nothing about the logistics, help!

[northerner]

His Dad lives in Marbella. He has decided the UK is not a safe place to raise our ds and any more subsequent children we may have.

He just keeps saying that next year he wants to sell up and move. Just like that.

He has no idea about the cost of living, schools, jobs etc.

We live in Harrogate atm, I love it. Have good friends here and ds is settled at school (he's nearly 5)

Dh is a chef and I work in the event/travel industry and have lods of hotel experience. So, it probably would be easy for us to find work. But I have no idea about salary's, cost of houses etc.

Can anyone help? Any good websites I should check out?

Still don't want to do it, but dh will acuse me of simply poo pooing the idea if I don't show some interest......

[keeplaughing]

no idea sorry but will bump

[luchinka]

Hello, I'm new to Mumsnet, I've been lurking and reading posts, especially here on living overseas,as I live in Andalucia. I don't have any children yet but will start ttc after getting married this year.

I think you should think very hard about such a big move. Do you speak Spanish? Even though lots of people speak it in those areas you'll still need it to a certain extent and it makes everything harder if you can't commuincate. Also i think making such a huge life change when you don't really want to could be a recipe for disaster. It's not always that easy to make friends even when it's a move you want to make.

I would have thought Marbella and the surrounding areas to be very expensive as Marbella is possibly the richest place in Spain (saudi princes have houses there) Did DH's Dad buy his house many years ago? Prices have been skyrocketing across Andaluica in recent years.

I also don't agree that MArbella would be especially safe, isn't it the hub of the costa del crime?

Perhaps DH neeeds to think about making other changes, change jobs or working hours? Could you buy a holiday home somewhere instead, so as not to burn all your bridges?
Good luck

[luchinka]

look at www.andalucia.com it has loads of information

[bebespain]

I agree totally with Luchinka. House prices have gone through he roof here, even more so than in the UK!
More importantly for me has been the feeling of isolation living in Spain with a small baby. Mother and baby groups aren't the norm here, (unless you are lucky enough to find he odd one run by ex-pats) Support systems just aren't in place for new mums and even when you speak the language as I do, believe me it can be very hard going.
I really miss my friends back home and all the support that's on offer and it's really brought it home to me how much you need familiarity when you have a baby/small child.

[northerner]

Thanks guys for taking the time to post. My sentiements entirely

FIL has lived in Spain for about 10 years. Bought his country house last year. He is wealthy.

We are not

A holiday home would be lovely but we could not afford 2 houses.

Any more comments appreciated. Thanks.

[luchinka]

I think people have these rose tinted ideas about what moving to Spain or another place in the sun would be like (thanks partly to all those a place in the sun type programmes) and the truth is that although it can be worth it in the end, it is harder than you can ever imagine and it doesn't always work. Also, why would you put yourselves through that when one of you doesn't even want to?
It's not always been easy for me and I came here with a job set up, with no children and could have left at any time. Then I meet my boyfriend and my spanish improved a lot, I had someone to share it with who was native and I learnt the language. But still, I have my moments!

[Legless]

To me a first step would be to make a GOOD start leaning the language. Don´t make the mistake that everyone speaks English THEY DO NOT, and even if they DO, sometimes they will just CHOOSE not to. You should both attend language classes for at least a year in preparation for such a big move and this will give you time to think if this is what yaou really want. If your DH is serious about the move then he would have to commit himself to language classes!

There are various books available with titles like " Living Abroad - Spain" Ask in your library and browse bookshops.

Good luck!

[Harrogatemum]

Hi northerner - how are you doing??

I suggest you have a look at a website called www.britishexpats.com. I recommend it a lot on here as you may know that DH is an Aussie and we plan to move there next year. It has different discussion forums for different countries and there is one devoted just to Spain. It might be worth having a look on there as there will undoubtedly be people in the same boat asking the same sorts of questions, and people who are already there who may be able to answer them.

HTH!!

[BizzyDint]

what is unsafe about harrogate? goodness me, they have a waitrose and everything now don't they?! i guess he's maybe talking about the UK in general thought. what a shame.

[northerner]

Hi Harogatemum!!

I am good thanks, how about you? How's life with 3? Busy I bet!!!

Bizzydint, yes Harrogate is lovely, but we do get crime here honest!

My dh gets an idea in his head and expects everyone to run with it Think it's a pipe dream really........

[tribpot]

My sister had a similar notion about moving out to Spain, it seems to have died a death now that she's researched it properly.

Salaries are, as far as I know, pretty low compared with the UK. Is Spain any safer than the UK?

Hasn't Harrogate got some of the best State schools in the country? I'd think very carefully before selling up - whilst ds is relatively young, perhaps you could rent your house out and go and try the dream for a year, without burning all of your bridges. Giving ds a head start in learning Spanish couldn't be a bad thing.

[lucy5]

Hello Northener.

I live about 25 minutes away from Marbella in a little place called Estepona, much smaller, sleepier, safer and cheaper. We have been here for about 3 years now and there are lots of positives, good weather, being able to take your kids anywhere at anytime and people always making a fuss of them etc.

Now comes the BUT, finding work here is hard and you will definitely only find work in the expat market. Pay is low and conditions are pretty rubbish as you often only get short rolling contracts which over very little protection. House prices are ever on the up, mine has tripled in 3 years, it is cheaper to live inland.


I feel like I live in a bubble a lot of the time, it is nearly impossible to break into the Spanish community {living on costa del sol} I am sure it would be different if you were living in an area with less expats. I have found the Spanish to be very welcoming though. I don't have alot in common with alot of the expats that live here. You have to work a lot harder at sorting the sheep from the goats. Infact alot of the people I have met here have been off the internet, what a geek!

Schooling is also a big thing that needs to be considered. My daughter was just 3 when we moved here and I thought she would easily slot into the Spanish system. She didn't she was very aware of the language difference and became very introverted. So much so that I moved her to the international system, which is pricey [not as much as uk though] We pay about ?9000 a year. The English kids or other foreigners definitely tend to stick together in the Spanish system. I am only talking from my own experience. My daughter is quite shy, which didn't help. She has a German friend who is fluent in Spanish and has adapted really well, so much so that she is carrying on in the Spanish system but her friends outside of school are all Northern Europeans.

I hope this doesn't sound too negative. I enjoy my life here and my dd is really happy but it is nothing like I expected or what you see on the place in the sun programmes. It helps if you have a lot of money and can start your own business. My dh now works in Gibraltar which is about half an hour away, as he just could not get a job in Spain. Anyway if you would like to know anything else about the Marbella area let me know. Also SenroApostrophe has a good website here

[lucy5]

Just incase you think I am a total saddo, I do have friends that I haven't met on the internet the Spanish ones though are all married to foreigners.