The title says it all really. What sort of combined salary will give a decent lifestyle in London/East Anglia? It's hard to make the decision to move without knowing what to expect as I have been away since 2001, pre children and all their extra associated costs! Am after 3 bed house, running a fuel efficient car, state school, daycare for one child (3 kids) don't live an extravagant lifestyle, but would like not to struggle. We are in Sydney's eastern suburbs now, $120K combined wage, 2 bed flat, one car, daycare for one child and have nothing left at the end of the month, would love to have some money left to save!
Spring is "hopefully" on it's way. 5 whole months of winter. The only piece of advice I can offer is to stay in a neutral country if you can, until you both agree on a decision, at least that way neither of you will feel pressured or resentful of a move. Sweden is also regarded as one of the safest, best places to live in the world. Just because a countries 'statistics' look good on paper,it doesn't give you the full picture. All I'm saying is research your options more before making a huge move. Unfortunately if your dh is unwilling to even consider the UK, then stay where you are until you can agree.
Q: " I want to belong and be accepted and understand a culture, and that by moving to Norway, being an foreigner in a country that doesn't like foreigners and loosing my mother tongue I loose a part of myself
Wouldn't it be exactly like that for your DH in England though?"
I'd say no, because for a start, I'd guess there's far less 'anti-forriner' bias in the UK than in many more homogenous societies like Norway's. I mean, we all know non-British peopel, often in among our close friendship group here in teh UK, don't we? We work with them our DC go to school with them, whereas I could imagine that, outside one or 2 bigger cities, there are far fewer non-Norwegians in Norway.
Secondly, English is very accessible. The DH presumably speaks it every day in Australia. It's not that hard to immerse yourself in English, whereas I imagine it's quite difficult to do that in Norway, especially as Norwegian is surely a language that comes totally bundled up with the culture that spawned it; whereas English is a language that is a universal tool of communication, which allows an 'educated' Indian to speak effectively to an 'educated' Hong Kong Chinese, iyswim, with no cultural 'baggage' on board, and so forth.
I am not suggesting that the DH will find a move to England easy but I'd bet he'd find it a sight easier than the poster's move to Norway!
DHs dad (an English teacher) is British so his English is better than mine! England, as Australia, is very multicultural, and whilst there is an anti-foreigner sentiment portrayed in the media, when it comes down to it, there has been immigration for enough years that it would be hard to identify a typical British person. (I am mixed race, and have never experienced racism in UK or Australia), but it could be down to language, as opposed to appearance, I speak perfect English, I don't speak perfect Norwegian so am easily identified as non-Norwegian. Anyway, one of the deals I made with myself if we moved to Norway, was not to be so sensitive about it as it made me quite cross on a daily basis of the 7 years I lived there previously. I've actually been given a reprieve, we will not move (still Norway) until December and I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders! 1 April was the deadline we had given ourselves to decide (to move in time for Norway school year) and I've been in tears for days, literally whenever anyone mentioned it! The kids are so settled here, they have great school classes and friends and I didn't want to remove them from that. The Aussie school year ends in December, so there is a real finality about the end of the year, coinciding with all the school/preschool/ballet end of year concerts. It took me howling in the shower for DH to suggest end of year instead. I'm hoping this will make the break easier when the time comes, that at least they completed the year with their friends. OTOH is could be that I really don't want to move to Norway, and will feel the same panic when December rolls around ...
I only ask because I left Aus 10 years ago, and was quite pleased to leave, after about 15 years or so there, getting married and having DCs. I left with rather mixed feelings about the place and was hugely relieved that DH, though an Aussie, wasn't stereotypical at all. He was keen to come and spend 'a year or 2' in the UK (his grandad was British though left here at 19, and DH and I have spent a reasonable amount of time visiting the UK over the years) but as it happened, we stayed. DH has a good job, likes country pubs, real ale, walking, not having to avoid the midday sun, twilight etc...
Anyway, we decided it was only fair we made A Family Visit back so went 2 years ago when the DSs were 10 and 12. I really wasn't sure how I'd feel about it all, actually- I was fear and trepidation, but in fact, we had a really good time and I would now say that I could imagine living there again if need be. Prior to that I think I may have cried at being 'forced' to go back. So maybe, just maybe Norway won't be the place you remember?
It bothers me a bit that your DH isn't responding to your real distress at the return to Norway. There's no way DH or I would have 'made' the other one move had we been so upset at the prospect. I spent the first 5 odd years here checking with DH, once a year or so, that he was happy to stay put here and he was always 'Yeah, things are going well, I'm not feeling any strong desire to go back, so no problem'.