WHERE'S BEST TO LIVE IN NZ ETC :PART 6!!!(1000 Posts)
Wow! Part 6...got to be a record.
MN Towers, where's our prize?!
Go for the job! Honestly vvvv, do it.
I think it's a great opportunity. apply, see what happens and see how you feel about the job when you are in a position to decide!
So bloody fucking unbelievably angry. DH is as you know in Canada. I am holding the fort here. The guy (former boss) who arranged this teaching fortnight in Canada HAS BASICALLY RENEGED ON HIS PROMISE TO PAY HIM!!!
He is covering the hotel, flight and some incidental expenses, but basically, that is it.
So unbelievably angry and shaken by it. I could murder him.
And he has had the bloody cheek to ask DH if he will come to England and to the same in November!
??????!!!!!?????? Justa! That is OUTRAGEOUS! Is there anything you guys can do? What a complete fucker!!
No, not really. They have worked together for a decade or so, DH trusted him, he didn't come through on his promises but they were verbal ones. He's always been trustworthy before.
Sigh, I am going to damn well drink some whisky tonight.
So basically I have had three weeks of DH not seeing me and the kids because he was working so hard to get this teaching organised. Spending money on late-night food in the office etc. Then two weeks of him being away. Spending money on food whilst he was there, etc.
And we've basically subsidised this other bloke's hotshot teaching course. for nothing. I am so unbelievably angry.
Justa, I'm astounded and so angry on your behalf. That is so completely unfair and unethical!
I hope your DH has told him where to shove his UK assignment?! (Or is it one of those cases where it might suit you to have him go anyway for other reasons?)
I'm actually gobsmacked that someone would do that.
Please tell me your DH told him to go fuck himself. Honestly, am raging on your behalf. It's so horribly unfair. Is there no overseeing organisation DH can approach, or a website he can expose the guy on? I can't believe what a complete and utter bastard this guy is.
Glad your angle is ok, frick
Vvv, why don't you ask? No harm in it!
Justa, what has gone on there?! Has there been crossed wires somewhere along te line?!
Yes, I think so AB.
DD2 had me awake half the night & I'm no nearer to a decision on whether to apply for the job or not. I'm oddly agonising over putting DD2 in full time childcare, at 2, when DD1 was in full time (and longer hours than DD2 will be) at 8 months.
I also discovered this morning when I went onto the main website instead of looking at MN via the app, that what I thought were little sad faces are coming up as that "hmm" face, which is a totally different tone and probably made me sound really dreadful (is that a blushing smilie? I don't trust the app anymore!)
Vvv, apply! Honestly, I find sometimes its up the shall I shan't I of it that's so stressful. If you just apply, then you can see how the cards fall and make a decision based on the actuality of it. Iyswim.
Justa, at least DH will be home soon, and I still call bullshit on wires crossed. Who the hell can take timeoff from their actual job to go work for flipping free for someone else?!?! The guy would obviously never have presented it that way to your DH. He would have talked about money and covering of costs etc etc in order to get your DH to agree to go in the first place. Nah, he is definitely a fucker.
Justa- I'm not surprised you are livid. They should at the very least be covering all his expenses even if there has been a misunderstanding.
Vvv- I applied for a job at the council last year and it was quite an interesting experience. I think you should apply just so you don't think 'what if'. I will PM you some more details.....
OK, update - the ritalin IS helping DS2 pottytrain. He can now wee when he wants to, on the potty or toilet. And poo. MASSIVE!
So now I have been reading around again and I want to try Prozac on DS1 because apparently it can actually literally help reduce some kinds of neuropathic pain. And he seems to have the same kind that it is described as helping in adults.
Just call me Medication Martha.
Justa - that is really huge about the Ritalin! Fantastic news for DS2. He must be so pleased with himself!
Interesting about the Prozac - night well be worth a try. Do you think one of the docs might be willing to prescribe a trial?
I think that I am going to have to go private AGAIN. But I think the paed we saw for DS2 would.
Thing is, to get it done in the state sector I would have to persuade the consultant in charge of us that he isn't doing enough and then get him seen by a neurologist (who by all accounts is pretty rubbish if he is who I think) and THEN start looking at possibly trialling medications. So cumbersome slow and confrontational.
Whereas if I go under the "mental health" route then I can have a cosy chat with this nice private paed again, who will I am pretty sure find a reason why it is worth trying the medication on DS1 for MH reasons (it would be hard to argue against child depression given the severity of his pain, for example) and then we can see if it works on the actual pain. It's a bit devious, and it will be expensive, but it's I suspect the better route.
If it doesn't then the next line of defence is anti-convulsant drugs for which I would need to go through the neurologist, so I thought I might start the ball rolling in both directions at once, as it were.
Have just emailed DH to see what he thinks about ANOTHER drug for our kids.
Oh - and I thought about your question re: levels of distress in a child.
If it were me, and it was the kind of anxious child I am used to, I would take a calm moment and draw a rainbow of colours. Then I would put a happy face in the very middle, and then think of something small that's not ok - like not getting a second biscuit, for example. That could be red. Then orange, could be not being allowed ANY biscuits. Then yellow, falling over and having a bump but no blood. You see the general direction. I would probably (to avoid anxiety nightmares and negative obsessions) suggest some huge but unlikely fears for indigo and violet - say, a giant comes and squashes your whole house! or everyone in the world turns into a violet monster! Then when said child is upset about something, I would gently ask them "is this a violet moment? Or is it maybe blue? Ooh, is it blue? That's interesting? So not as bad as a giant eating up your whole house, but still pretty bad." like that. Slowly try to get the point of proportionality across.
I don't think medicating your child is wrong. At all. And again, it's very very very unlikely that they will need to take the medication into adulthood, it's not a life sentence. It's the opposite.
Well DH has just blown a hole in the ceiling via email, then calmed down and phoned me. He thinks (no shit) that you shouldn't really medicate unless really necessary. Problem is you normalise your situation: it's easy to forget how bad it is to have a child confined to the sofa for days on end.
(But I think I will win: I generally do).
Having seen the difference medication can make to a child- including their performance at school- I personally think that not medicating can be wrong. Medication can allow a child to fulfil their potential and make them so much happier.
Like many things in life, people can have strong opinions without being terribly informed. You will have done the research so are in the best position to make the decision.
Anyone else bloody freezing today?
Thank you peeps, you are kind. And even if you are just telling me what I want to hear I really want to hear it so please keep saying it. No, seriously, it is helpful to hear your views.
Fortuitously the physio has just rung and agrees since he seems to have worsened again we need a referral to the pain management team at Starship. She's going to find out how this can be arranged. I will hold off on booking the private appt for now and see where this goes :-)
Absolutely not just telling you what you want to hear.
Yes penguin, have even put the hot air blower thinggie on in the lounge. Still haven't unpacked the box with all the couch throws and snugly blankets in. Hhhmmmm, maybe I should go do that now.
Sky tv guy is coming soon. It's going to be weird having tv again!
Phew, have just survived first afternoon of PROPER PRE-PLANNED homeschool.
Thank you frik.
It turns out that the reason DH was not paid is that former boss (new to Canada) didn't realise he would have had to arrange work visas which would have taken months to sort. He only found this out a few days before DH arrived. That is why he's insisting on paying the money to the Uni rather than DH personally.
I think it would have been better to tell DH this though!
Hmmm justa still sounds a bit suss to me. I guess he could pay DHs department who could pay him a one off payment through payroll for 'guest lecturing'. I have just had to do this for a statistician who wanted to do the work privately but is on the Uni payroll. Sounds dodgy but was above board.
Re meds - only you know your child(ren) and what is best but I have been astounded with the difference in a friend's ds who has been started on ADHD meds. Still the same cheeky slightly out there boy but is able interact, function and concentration much improved.
Well I am not sure why that is not possible TBH. Am still fairly cheesed off. I don't like the lack of transparency even if reason is pretty legit.
oh and yes it is cold, came home early (actually went to ds2s school to watch him in his school assembly extremely proud of myself for remembering after the holidays and managing to leave work early to get to the school - no other cars - to be told - oh no we've moved it to next Tuesday, we're sending a letter home today ) anyway, dh who had also left work to watch the assembly had the fire lit and dinner simmering. Very warm and impressed!
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