In Sydney - do I want to go home or is it too soon?

[wellieboots]

Hi all
We moved to Sydney almost 2 years ago, for a minimum 2 years. DH is Aussie so there is no time limit in that sense. I am 33 and DH 38 and we have a beautiful DD who is almost 2 months

Originally we lived in Scotland, again minimum 2 years, DH ended up staying about 3 and a half years. So the 2 years thing is not set in stone at all but it's just made me a bit thoughtful. We have no family support here, ILs visit every so often to see DD and will wash up while they are here or whatever but wouldn't dream of taking DD for a walk or changing a nappy or anything practical like that. MIL who is retired has only visited once despite being asked several times and once promising to come over and then not turning up

I miss my family - my DM is much more hands on, all my DDs cousins are in uk as My DSIL lives in London

I also don't drive, which is very isolating here, everyone drives and when friends invite me over I feel stuck because I can't get there!

I am trying to figure out whether I do actually want to go to the uk to live or whether I'm just exhausted and lonely with a new bub. The main concern would be at least DH getting a job, as I understand the economy is still a total mess. What else do I need to think about?

[pupsiecola]

Hello,

I think it may not be the best time to make such a big decision so soon after DD's arrival. I think mull it over for a while? Your life has just changes so dramatically. Thinking back to when my DSs were that age (now 9 and 7) I couldn't envisage making such a change.

Can you learn to drive to give you a bit more freedom?

We're 7 months in to a "2 year maybe longer" stint. Some days I feel that it will be 2 years, other days a bit longer. It's hard and I feel for you, but I would wait a while longer?

[MarshaBrady]

I suppose the biggest thing is getting work again the the UK. So sector and location etc

What does your dh think?

[Mosman]

I left Melbourrne when DD1 was six weeks because of growing up with the cousins, mum will help etc. she never did and the cousins have their own friends, lives, live somewhere I didn't want to.
It's a big move either way, I'd wait another couple of months see of you make friends at the mothers groups.

[chloeb2002]

Hi, I would look at it a few ways, firstly..
It sounds like every move is on a temporary basis? when we moved to aus we did it on a temp visa for 4 years.. but we made it permanent in our minds and lies.. so we shipped everything over we wanted to ever bring, we set out to buy a house, move our lives here and not to be in the we will give it x amount of time camp as more often this fails as you have at least one foot back in your home country wanting to go back to greener grass though maybe rose coloured glasses.
When it comes to input from inalws and parents i would also be very very wary, from personal experience it can often seem that parent X can offer more support than the current parents.. It is very different living in the same area as grandparents than having them visit...My mum lives in Europe and when she comes to visit she is a great huge help with my 3 dcs, however i know that when we lived near each other it was far more of an "if needs must" situation as we were on tap! so she could choose what and when to be involved and there was less novelty.
I guess you would go back and live in London? So you would need to look at what your child gains by being there and being in Sydney. I think it may be lovey growing up with extended family, but there is no guarantee they will actually get on, or that you an provide more/ less than you sister can and that puts cousins in competition with better schools, clothes, houses, friends etc. We have no extended family here and yes some days like grandparent days at school are tough but certainly our dc gain so very very much more by growing up with more opportunities and activities than they ever would in the uk.
being a new mum is tough and at only 2 months its very very new! Learning to drive may just be essential.. as part of a lifestyle change maybe? It is far easier even in the uk without children not to drive, but I suspect you would need to learn to drive back in the uk. strollers, nappy bags, shopping, doctors, school, kindy, the list goes on.. especially with ad weather to contend with!