Mumsnet Talk

It would drive me mad to live near my family as they expect to know what you are doing, why and listen to their opinions on it, follow their advice, spend every free weekend with them,
Programmes like " the royale family" make me really twitchy, and I can't watch them

Let's just say it's a lovely side benefit

I do sometimes think there's something wrong with me, like there's a whole facet of human existence I just don't get because I have no desire to be close to most of my family.

My hubby and I were talking about it!!! We are in London at the moment and moving back to Cape Town where OH is from next year... I love my mum but with the age she has become somewhat judgemental... or as OH puts it I have grown and finally cut the cord.. (im 32!!) I know its selfish as will break her heart but for our sanity and marriage not being in the same country might be the best thing. They are in France. We are not moving to be far on purpose but will help!
It makes me feel bad actually to say/write it out loud!!!

Yes. I can't speak for OH, but he did once tell his DM "that is why I live on the other side of the world" when she started nagging. He's become quite bolshi

I also love the feeling of freedom I get from physically leaving the baggage behind. One of my favourite places is the departure lounge at Heathrow, and it ain't because of the decor!

I have to admit I'm loving it. And the people I miss the most have come out to visit, so it's all good.

It won't last foever though, and I know I have to go home one day, and that makes me sad.

Glad it's not just me!

Jeez, so true. Am enjoying some of it, bittersweet. How about you?

Hi Salbertina

I know exactly what you mean. If you're not in the same country, then lack of contact is a given, rather than a constant let down.

Hope you're enjoying your life overseas though. There's no point running away to a more miserable life, if you know what I mean.

Kind of, we moved 200 miles away within the UK so we could all pretend that was the reason we never saw much of each other. Truth is we never bothered when we were 30 mins up the road either.

Yes but only certain members of my family now I have nieces and nephews and other are getting older it is becoming harder to say goodbye each year. We've been away for 10 years and live about as far as you can get so not an easy trip.

I do feel torn though that maybe my dss would be different/happier with family around - who knows......it is sad.

Not that far away but my relationship with my DBro and SIL is much easier since I moved 200 miles away. We have a nice chat on the phone once a month and I see them 3 or 4 times a year.
Before I left, we argued all the time, our parents were constantly involved and in the middle of it all.
We're all much happier this way but I miss the rest of my family a lot.

Distance can certainly help!

Yes, we lived abroad in 2009, came back to the UK as we missed family and realised that all the reasons we missed family were never that strong anyway. We have now lived abroad again for the last two years. My parents are here visiting at the moment and I am finding it very very difficult. I am so glad we live 13,000 miles away!!!

We're actively looking for an abroad adventure with our Dc's precisely for that reason - more things being not as expected rather than too much fussiness if you get me. Had enough of waiting for some effort and think distance will keep me sane. Sad but true

Salbertina I don't think it was a concious thing but I do think living thousands of miles from my family makes life much easier although they still like to travel to visit without any regard as to if it is a good time for me and my family.

I know if I had stayed living near my sister I would have been expected to be number one baby sitter especially when I was single. My father can be a real ass and it is much easier to deal with my step dad from a long distance.

We are going to visit in three weeks and my sister seems to think our holiday is all about her and her children, trying to get us to change pland tofit around my dn's school

Because i now realise this has been a driver for me since my early 20s. A certain relief in being so far away and that normal, regular contact cant happen so its absence isn't noticed. Still bloody sad though...
Anyone else?