Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have any medical concerns do consult your GP.

Dilemma to tell the truth or not?

(6 Posts)
MercedesKing Fri 22-Mar-13 09:07:30

Sometimes you have got the final result that the one who is very important to you will never get recovered since he is very sick and can not be cured, while you still have to tell him the lie that he will get better by looking into his eyes and filling ourselves with hope, in fact it is not good at all to pretend that everything will be all right, you realized that you are lying at the moment when the other give you complete trust, and you realize how hurt it would be to not telling the truth, however, it hurts in a more severe degree by exposing the truth to him as well. Just wanna know could there be any constructive advice to ease this kind of situation? To tell or not to tell, which one is better? Having been troubled by it for a long time, any suggestion that can help to make it easier would be appreciated... Thanks for your kindness.

DorisIsWaiting Fri 22-Mar-13 22:13:53

Have you spoken to his team?

I think it depends very much on the person they are- adult or not, slightly prepared or not.

Can you break it in stages so not a total whammy that will tip them over the edge but small sugestions that they can choose to probe or not.

I am so sorry you are having to deal with this and my heart goes out to you.

MercedesKing Mon 25-Mar-13 01:31:41

Thanks DorisIsWaiting, I am having it goes more easy. Have talked with my mum and my aunts about the thing, she said its OK to tell my uncle by herself the bad news, cause the day would eventually arrive. Guess we can still accompany him spend the last period in a wonderful but not saddening mood. Thanks for your help.

flanbase Sun 19-May-13 12:23:57

If he wants the hope that he'll get better than this is fine to tell him. If it relieves stress for him then it is ok and even if he knows that he wont recover it can be a comfort to hold onto the dream of it. He needs the opportunity to make his final wishes known and to resolve any matters in the past. You can ask him if there is anyone he'd like to talk with or anything he'd like to share with you. Best wishes

brokenk Tue 21-May-13 14:10:48

MercedesKing Im on the other side I know I am ill
I ve already lost my fight but sad I dont have the final diagnose
and you know what is the most painfull for me
Ive got impression that my family do know what is really wrong with me but from some strange reason they not want to tell me the true
and personally for me I would prefer to know the worst true than living in hope
my hope had been destroyed a few times already and its truelly cruel

so Im sorry for being honest with you
but you will have to make that big decision by yourself

and please forgive me my question
how did you get to know the diagnose before the person Im sorry for asking but is it possible that the doctor would talk first with familly first ??

brokenk Tue 21-May-13 14:15:04

MercedesKing Im on the other side I know I am ill
I ve already lost my fight but sad I dont have the final diagnose
and you know what is the most painfull for me
Ive got impression that my family do know what is really wrong with me but from some strange reason they not want to tell me the true
and personally for me I would prefer to know the worst true than living in hope
my hope had been destroyed a few times already and its truelly cruel

so Im sorry for being honest with you
but you will have to make that big decision by yourself

and please forgive me my question
how did you get to know the diagnose before the person Im sorry for asking but is it possible that the doctor would talk first with familly?

I d always thought that it is against law

I d allways tought
that first doctor will have to talk to that person who it is about and then afeter an agrement talk to familly

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now