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My friend has cancer and I feel so useless

(3 Posts)
MissM Tue 04-Dec-12 20:35:15

I have a dear friend who I've known for 20 years. She rang me two weeks ago to tell me she has breast cancer - on Thursday she will have a double mastectomy, followed by chemotherapy in the new year.

My brother died of cancer four years ago aged 33. My friend is in California so I can't just do what I want to do more than anything which is see her and put my arms round her. Even calling is difficult because of the time difference, and because she is understandably caught up in a whirl of appointments and other things at home.

Her operation is on Thursday. I feel so completely useless stuck here at the other side of the bloody ocean. I keep thinking about the hell my brother went through before he died and can't bear the thought of her having to go through all the pain and the awfulness. I feel like bloody shit.

CocktailQueen Tue 04-Dec-12 21:27:32

I'm not surprised. poor you, and poor friend. Send her a card and maybe a thoughtful personal gift to tell her you're thinking about her even tho you're far apart. And be there for her to talk to if she needs someone. You sound like a lovely friend.

MissM Tue 04-Dec-12 21:56:44

Thanks Cocktail. I've sent her a card, just planning a little giftie to get her tomorrow. Have spoken to a mutual friend who's also in the US but without such a big time difference, so feel a little better.

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