How to help a friend with cancer

[HardlyEverHoovers]

Hi, I have a good friend who has just been diagnosed with breast cancer, she is having an operation in a few days to remove lump, followed by chemo. I don't know any more than that at the moment.
I wanted to ask if anyone has experience of this, how best I and other friends can help over the coming days, weeks, months. She has support from her family, and no dependants, but I want to know the kind of things she might like taking round (books, flowers, food?), and also what she needs to hear, although I know that's not an easy one to answer. Any help appreciated.

[mrsnec]

Hi so sorry for you. Hope she makes a good recovery. My SIL is recovering from surgery to remove a brain tumor at the moment. She wasn't keen on flowers or smellies, food no good as her tastes have changed, books no good as she can't concentrate but she hated staying in with daytime tv. Asked people to bring box sets of light hearted things you don't need to concentrate on Things like Friends & Cold Feet went down well.

[mrsnec]

Hi so sorry for you. Hope she makes a good recovery. My SIL is recovering from surgery to remove a brain tumor at the moment. She wasn't keen on flowers or smellies, food no good as her tastes have changed, books no good as she can't concentrate but she hated staying in with daytime tv. Asked people to bring box sets of light hearted things you don't need to concentrate on Things like Friends & Cold Feet went down well.

[Mama1980]

I second the friends box set I have a friend recently finished chemo for breast cancer and that was her favourite present. She had a really rough time so for her flowers and food were out as she couldn't taste properly and was sick anyway. Though she did like ice pops. Also she had a woman who came and massaged her hands during chemo, a complimentary therapy thing and she found that very soothing and something we did for her when visiting so maybe lovely hand lotion? A soft blanket?

[mrsnec]

Sorry for posting twice! I meant to add I'm not close to sil so can't answer second question but in our case anyway she didn't talk much about it just wants to do everything she can to get better. So just encourage that.

[mrsnec]

Sorry for posting twice! I meant to add I'm not close to sil so can't answer second question but in our case anyway she didn't talk much about it just wants to do everything she can to get better. So just encourage that.

[mrsnec]

Sorry for posting twice! I meant to add I'm not close to sil so can't answer second question but in our case anyway she didn't talk much about it just wants to do everything she can to get better. So just encourage that.

[mrsnec]

Sorry for posting twice! I meant to add I'm not close to sil so can't answer second question but in our case anyway she didn't talk much about it just wants to do everything she can to get better. So just encourage that.

[kittenspjs]

:(

After my mastectomies I needed crisps, I wonder if it was the salt I craved, maybe some sort of electrolyte disturbance

Anything with real Rose in was good, ad it makes one feel feminie at a time when you feel anything but.

dream Cream from Lush is the only body cream to have if she has radiotherapy, although the radiotherapy department might say differently and of course you should always listen to the professionals.

People having chemo shouldn't eat grapefruit.


I found a text with " how are you" to be the best. I could day how I felt and it wasn't intrusive. What was unhelpful was people asking for results or telling you what happened to their friend who had cancer. I also didn't really like being " helped" or someone said they would organise Christmas for me, I couldn't have given a flying duck about it, had no money ( was on sick pay). It was kind, but what they would have liked. What I needed was someone to drop me bread and milk round and look after the baby.

I got through loads of mags, Living etc, Vogue, elle but other people on my ward had puzzle books or Womns Weekly type things.

X

[mrsnec]

Hope this only posts once! Anyway DB needed people to give him a break similar to above post. He got a bit fed up of waiting on the patient! She has a craving for very healthy food now so a nice fruit basket might be good if your friend is the same. Also she needed help with coordination and manual dexterity. My DM let her borrow her ipad with the draw ap which help as do the mind games and crosswords etc on Nintendo DS.

[HardlyEverHoovers]

Wow, thanks for all the posts, that's my carrier bag of novels, flowers and a box of chocs out the window! It's really helpful to hear what other people needed, especially considering sickness etc.

[MrsColumbo]

Just seen the post about not having grapefruit when you're having chemo - can I ask why that is? Are other citrus fruits OK?

[Gigondas]

The steroids you get as part of chemo can upset your tummy and make it quite sensitive so citrus may not always be a good plan. Grapefruit juice has something in it that reacts with certain drugs so should be avoided.