Hello
My dad is terminally ill and at the moment he looks quite well which is part of the reason I think I can not absorb it all in. He has battled with bowel cancer for a few years and was in the clear for about 2 years but then it came back. Its now in his bowel, liver, glands and blood.
They said to my mum they do not like to say how long he will have as everyone is different. At the moment he is receiving pallitive chemo and he's reacting quite well which is good. They said if it makes him ill then they would stop and without chemo he would get ill fast.
They said its not at the critical stage but we should start to think about hospices soon. This just freaks me out as he looks well, healthy, he is driving about but I know he is weak and can not walk far.
I have three young girls who adore my dad so much and it breaks my heart as the youngest age two is very close to him. I do not know if I should tell them all now that my dad is sick and will die. Obviously we have no idea how long he will be ill for. But the fact they mention hospice, to me means he may go downhill fast and could be months. So I feel like if my daughters (older ones age 6 and 8) know he is ill they will give him lots of attention and when the time comes it will not be so much of a shock.
When he is dying, should they see him? Should they be there to see him go if we are all there, what about the funeral? My partner said he did not attend his grandparents but I feel this is important to help them grieve too. I know they will see us all crying and they can see its ok to cry or do you think this may have a negative effect.
I would really appreciate to hear your thoughts, experience, advice etc.
Many thanks
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Life-limiting illness
How to prepare my children for my fathers death?
15 replies
secrethistory · 06/09/2012 19:14
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