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Life-limiting illness

My friend is dying...

11 replies

mummynoseynora · 10/06/2012 22:23

Not sure if I should be posting here or in bereavement, but I guess its somewhere inbetween

He's an old friend, and over the years I have kept more in touch with his sister than him iyswim but still, I am heartbroken

History of this is that back when I was a kid and started martial arts I met 2 lovely kids. A girl a few years younger than me, and her brother a few years younger than her. They had a pretty heartbreaking story, as their mum died when they were young from a brain tumour. The boy had a tumour removed not long before I met them, and had a shunt fitted to his brain. I always felt fairly maternal towards them as they were growing up and still do today. Nowadays, the girl is a qualified doctor, and the boy was getting on with life as well he could.
A couple of weeks ago he got poorly again, he was taken to hospital assuming his shunt was blocked, as had happened before. The docs operated and did an MRI, and found a huge nasty new tumour.
It is inoperable. He is barely into his 20's and is going to die, very soon.
He is currently in hospital and on steroids which is reducing the swelling and relieving pressure, on Monday he is moving to a hospice and wont be able to have them anymore, so I fear he won't have more than a week or two left. Possibly just days.


I found out yesterday and made it up to the hospital to see his sister and give her a break for a short while, would have seen him too but he had some mates with him. I hope to see him once he is at the hospice, but I fear he won't have long then and will want to be spending that time with his family

I am heartbroken, I want to help them as a family, but there is nothing I can do.

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mummynoseynora · 10/06/2012 22:40

I know there isn't anything that anyone can say I just needed somewhere to vent about it

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HumphreyCobbler · 10/06/2012 22:42

I am sorry. Just caring about them is what you can do, and you are doing it.

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Selks · 10/06/2012 22:42

Oh that's so sad; such a young life.

I hope you're ok this evening OP.

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mummynoseynora · 10/06/2012 22:46

Thanks both, I am better today, thought my kids haven't had the attention they deserve today and I am pretty sure my work won't either tomorrow
it is just completely heartbreaking, these two siblings are so close, and are such lovely people that it makes me angry for them that they have to go through this Angry Sad

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mummynoseynora · 12/06/2012 19:46

my friend has made it to the hospice - which is a relief as I wasn't sure he would and I so didn't want him to end his time in that blasted hospital...

This is so shit I can't explain Sad SadSad

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HumphreyCobbler · 12/06/2012 20:48

I am so sorry. It is utterly utterly shit. Sad

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mummynoseynora · 22/06/2012 19:36

He died this morning

heartbroken all over again

Sad

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EmilieFloge · 22/06/2012 19:40

I'm really sorry. How sad for you and for his poor sister. Has she got anyone close to her to talk to?

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mummynoseynora · 22/06/2012 19:42

yeah she has her fiance and she knows I am here when she's ready

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mummynoseynora · 25/06/2012 19:35

funeral is booked for friday... I have found the last few days so hard even broke down in front of the DC yesterday Sad .... DS bless him came up climbed on my lap and just gave me a huge cuddle then said 'mummy happy now?' melted my heart

I am completely dreading the funeral, but at the same time it will be good to see his sister and give her a huge hug... think I might write her a letter too to take away... is that a good idea or naff?

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Rosa · 25/06/2012 21:19

You sound a great friend and a letter is a lovely idea. So sorry for all concerned.

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