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Need a little Positive pep please..

(1 Post)
woozysoozy Sun 19-May-13 13:49:08

Split from ex.partner 3years ago - were never married but he was named on birth certificate. He had found new partner and I had found new partner (who I have since married) - at that time I left the home and moved into a bedsit (have since moved into two bedroom house) and ex and I agreed that for the sake of continuity and security DS would stay at former home.

Fast forward six months since split - ex partner sells house and moves DS into rented home, without leaving forwarding address (had to get this from his mum). Contact becomes strained and on his terms, he physically assaults me three times in front of my family and DS and retains my belongings. He says he has a residency order and should I step outside of the terms he states then he will cut all contact. I'm gutted at this point and seek legal advice as he refuses to talk to me.

Find out that no residency order exists so I suggest mediation which he reluctantly agrees to (as I say its either mediation or court which neither of us want so as not to cause DS upset). Contact is re-established and all seems well until earlier this year when he quits his job, becomes a student and starts travelling intermittently to other countries - all of which would be fine had I known this, but I do not until after the fact. DS during these periods is left with his partner and paternal grandparent - DS falls ill and I know nothing about it. Neither partner nor paternal grandparent has any PR over DS. When ex partner returns I tell him I am seeking a residency order and contact order to clarify situation or we can try again at mediation. He hangs up, tells me to F.O. So I put in place the legal action.

Unsurprisingly he counterclaims, seeking exactly the same but limited contact for myself. DS in this has been absolutely brilliant, he is a happy healthy child and has stated that he would like 1 week with each of us alternately as the current contact is (in DS words) 'over complicated and a bit much, yknow?' (he is 6).

Ex p also puts that he has welfare concerns as I had PND so he puts in a C1A. Absolutely gutted that he is using my post natal health, but not surprised. He also claims that as my husband smokes and my aunt that DS is at risk of physical abuse - neither smoke in front of him and ex partner used to smoke and drink regularly. His final claim is that DS watches age inappropriate films although does not specific what, so that sounds terrible! The only age inappropriate films he has watched have been Pirates of the Caribbean, Lord of the Rings and the Hobbit - and he is a massive Tolkien fan, has all the lego and loves reading the books.

Please can anyone offer any advice or support because its so so stressful, representing myself as I cannot claim legal aid. Which is fine. But really want to maintain an amicable outcome and get DS into a safe routine where ex partner and I can talk to each other. Ex partner also wants to move out of the area, taking DS from the school he loves (have also put in for a prohibited steps order to try and prevent that happening). Help, am I doing the right thing? xxx

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