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Need urgent advice please

(64 Posts)
aluvss Mon 28-Jan-13 12:50:21

Yesterday night my BIL’s wife called the police and left the house with their daughter aged 2. She called the police whilst they where arguing, she told them that he had hit her and her daughter. The police came and took her and her daughter. The y did not leave anything with my BIL. We have no idea where they are and we have no clue on what to do, would really appreciate some help and advice. Thank you.

aluvss Fri 01-Feb-13 18:21:26

Thank you cosmosim and mrcrumpswife.

The police are being very long, they still have not interviewed him. His solicitor contacted the police, they said the officer in charge of the case has gone on annual leave for a week from today. So we have to wait another week.

She has been placed in a refuge the solicitor said. He told my BIL to get together as much evidence as possible to support his case.

Mrcrumpswife Thu 31-Jan-13 18:46:38

I thought this was legal. Reads more like a witch hunt, with some posters not even reading the OP, making wild assumptions based on absolutely jack, and downright bullying the poster. I'll stick with the nice posters in AIBU. Christ on a stick

I couldnt agree more with you Cos.

OP make sure he stays away until he with a mediator to protect himself. Any situation can easily be manipulated to look bad if someone wishes to do exactly that.

Cosmosim Thu 31-Jan-13 18:35:59

I thought this was legal. Reads more like a witch hunt, with some posters not even reading the OP, making wild assumptions based on absolutely jack, and downright bullying the poster. I'll stick with the nice posters in AIBU. Christ on a stick.

aluvss Tue 29-Jan-13 15:30:56

Thank you STIDW

My BIL has spoken to his solicitor who has given him advice. He has also phoned the police station and they said they would get back to him on Thursday and make an appointment where he can speak to his wife with a mediator.

Reaa Tue 29-Jan-13 00:23:58

Does DC have a passport if yes is it still in the house?

STIDW Mon 28-Jan-13 22:49:16

I agree with babybarrister and in addition I would be to encourage your BIL to consult a solicitor PDQ. If he is on a low income he may be eligible for legal aid. He (or a solicitor) on his behalf can apply for contact or residence if appropriate, a prohibited steps order to prevent the child being removed from the UK and an order to disclose the whereabouts of the child. If there are allegations of DV the court can find out where the child is staying so that the papers can be served but they may not disclose the address to your BIL and contact may be organised in a contact centre until investigations into the alleged DV can be carried out. The courts may need to treat allegations of DV as if they were true, just in case.

In the meantime your BIL needs to keep away from his wife so that he doesn't leave himself open to further allegations of harassment.

babybarrister Mon 28-Jan-13 21:40:02

If DS resident in UK her nationality is irrelevant to whether she can live abroad - that is decision for court if parents cannot agree.in the meantime your BIL may need to get a prohibited steps order to prevent a removal if there are concerns

courtsareadisgrace Mon 28-Jan-13 14:30:04

Does the DD have dual nationality with the other country?

ok x post.

So bit further away perhaps, and with different jurisdiction than some European countries, regards to this.

Well, not necessarily, she could want to go to Sweden, Germany,or Norway, for example, if she has family there.

My dentist, in London, is from Sweden, but his family is from India. He goes home to Sweden to see his mum, and he has only been to India once or twice.

aluvss Mon 28-Jan-13 14:15:24

Yes, she wants to go back to her original country. My brother in law does not work as he has heart problems, and he find it hard to breath when he is up and about for too long, but he could work if he wanted such as a working from home type of job. She does not work. My mil would be very upset if I left my dd with a childminder or someone else.

courtsareadisgrace Mon 28-Jan-13 14:12:46

Also, does your SIL have any family of her own in this country?

courtsareadisgrace Mon 28-Jan-13 14:11:08

PureQuintessence - I'm guessing SIL is wanting to go "home" to where the culture originates from?

Posted too son. Does she intend to return home, or go to a different country in Europe?

Why does her husband not work?
Does she work?

courtsareadisgrace Mon 28-Jan-13 14:10:26

With respect. The fact you leave your daughter there doesn't mean you know anything about what goes on. And also, this is a house that is full of arguements and conflict to such an extent that the police are involved. Do you have anywhere else you could leave your daughter?

So SIL is from the same culture. Where does she intend to go?

aluvss Mon 28-Jan-13 14:08:50

Yes she is.

And is it also customary for your SIL to live together with the inlaws? Or is she from a different culture?

aluvss Mon 28-Jan-13 14:08:17

I do not live with them but I leave my dd with my mil when I am at work. So I know what is going on.

courtsareadisgrace Mon 28-Jan-13 14:07:58

Is your SIL from the same culture?

aluvss Mon 28-Jan-13 14:07:17

Yes, we are from a culture were its normal for everyone to live together.

mumblechum1 Mon 28-Jan-13 14:01:43

Hope this question isn't misinterpreted, but are you all from a culture where it's normal to all live together/in a tightly knit community?

SaskiaRembrandtVampireHunter Mon 28-Jan-13 13:59:27

If she genuinely wants to take your niece out of the country your BIL needs to see a solicitor. There are legal measures that can be taken to prevent this happening. However, the situation is not going to be helped by your BIL, your MIL and your DH ganging up on her to the extent that the police feel they need to remove her from the situation.

courtsareadisgrace Mon 28-Jan-13 13:59:17

How do you know they are made up problems? Do you all live with your MIL? In the same house? 24/7?

courtsareadisgrace Mon 28-Jan-13 13:54:12

In the name of the wee man, you don't get it do you.

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