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Safety of children during contact - what should I do?

(28 Posts)
Llareggub Sat 29-Dec-12 23:27:05

I separated from my alcoholic husband last January. I remained in the family home with our our DC, now aged 6 and 3. My ex went to live with his parents. During this time, our children spent weekends at his parents house, and had only supervised contact with their father with their care being carried out by MIL.

Recently, his drinking has worsened and his parents did not tell me. Our 3 year old shares a bed with his father on these contact weekends, as he does when he is with me. I was happy for this to happen when I thought he was dry and taking Antabuse.

Last week he took an overdose and is now is a psychiatric hospital. I am moving with the children to a town 150 miles away for a job which will allow me financial independence and family support.

Ideally I would like the DCs to have contact with their father and family but have serious concerns about this, given his current mental health and PIL failure to tell me about his return to drinking.

I need to start negotiating contact but really don't know what would be reasonable given the circumstances, as my view it would be better for the children to settle into their new home, make friends and have some stability after a frankly nightmare year. I do recognise that their grandparents have been a significant presence in their lives but as my ex will be living with them I worry about how this will affect them.

Has anyone got any views on how I should handle this?

Llareggub Mon 31-Dec-12 13:46:40

Thanks, your post last night acted as permission to do what I feel I need to do. I rang in sick today and my manager was very understanding and supportive. I am planning on getting a removal van booked so I can pack up next week. Onwards and upwards.....

I rang the doctor but there is no one to speak to today so I shall book an appointment and try and get out for a run today. That usually helps and makes me cry too!

MrsSham Mon 31-Dec-12 13:57:33

Well done glad I helped. Keep strong. X

ProphetOfDoom Mon 31-Dec-12 16:58:40

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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