:( help

(23 Posts)
Littlemisssugarplum88 Mon 08-Aug-16 16:17:21

Hi everyone,
So, I have been with my DP for 3 years. We haven't actually used any contraception for 2 years, however he has never been able to cum during sex, and he said it was the same with previous partners too. He can cum through masterbation tho; whether he does it himself or if I do it for him.
Anyway, I had blood tests taken before Xmas as my periods were irregular and VERY heavy; and I was then diagnosed with PCOS and I have since been started on metformin.
My DP has handed in a sperm sample to our clinic and we are awaiting his results.
In the mean time tho, I feel like getting pregnant naturally is never going to happen for us as we have so much going on.
Does anyone have any advice for us?!
Thank you in advance xx

bananafish81 Mon 08-Aug-16 17:44:41

The first thing is to get you ovulating

The second thing would be to try home insemination. You can do it DIY with a syringe and a pot

Or you can buy a kit from The Stork

And time the insemination the same way you would time sex around ovulation

Have they offered you Clomid?

Littlemisssugarplum88 Tue 09-Aug-16 09:10:10

Hi there,
I am awaiting my next gynae appointment which is later on this afternoon and I was told that if I wasn't pregnant this appointment they would start me on the clomid.
My ovulation tests the last couple of months have been positive, but still no luck. I'm hoping we might get some answers today xx

bananafish81 Tue 09-Aug-16 09:55:47

Silly question but if your partner isn't ejaculating inside you, how could you possibly be pregnant?

RNBrie Tue 09-Aug-16 10:00:39

Not being able to ejaculate during sex is a recognised issue. Google "delayed ejaculation". My dh suffers from it on and off, but always when we were ttc and he felt the pressure. Two of my dc were conceived by home insemination due to this issue (the third was an accident when we weren't "trying"!).

All the clomid in the world is not going to help if you can't get his semen where it needs to go!!

Littlemisssugarplum88 Tue 09-Aug-16 10:01:10

Sorry,
I probably didn't word it correctly.
We have been using the sex, then masterbation and then reinserting his penis just as he is about to cum technique, but I don't feel very hopeful with it though xx

Littlemisssugarplum88 Tue 09-Aug-16 10:07:58

RnBrie,
My blood tests showed that I wasn't ovulating, hence why I have been started on medication, but at the same time DP won't admit to our consultant that he can't cum during sex as he is too embarrassed so I suppose we were hoping the problem lay with me, and that inserting his penis after masterbation on the verge of ejaculating would work xx

RNBrie Tue 09-Aug-16 10:22:45

Ok, that's different. If he's ejaculating inside you, that's enough. Try and have an orgasm afterwards as that can help direct the sperm in the right direction.

Good luck with the clomid

Littlemisssugarplum88 Tue 09-Aug-16 10:29:28

Would you say that if he is able to ejaculate inside me (even if it is not necessarily 'the normal' way of doing it), that there might not be anything to worry about on his side if his sperm is normal?! Xx

bananafish81 Tue 09-Aug-16 10:29:36

Aha OK well that'll do the trick

I know someone who got pregnant with Clomid twins via that method

It delivers the sperm near the cervix so that's what counts

It was if the semen wasn't actually anywhere near the point of delivery that was the question mark

Good luck

Littlemisssugarplum88 Tue 09-Aug-16 10:35:13

Ooh that's reassuring to hear a successful story on the clomid.
Because the ovulation tests have been positive the last couple of months, I'm just wondering whether I would actually need clomid?! Or whether the technique we have been using will ever work?! I suppose it would be easier if we knew exactly why it hasn't happened yet so we could concentrate more so on that, if that makes sense xx

bananafish81 Tue 09-Aug-16 11:44:27

Well are you definitely sure you're ovulating (and not just getting a positive OPK?) - have the blood tests confirmed it?

If your periods are irregular then it's harder to get pregnant if you're only ovulating intermittently (if at all), so clomid would ensure you were ovulating regularly, if you're not already

Littlemisssugarplum88 Tue 09-Aug-16 11:52:02

No I haven't had any further blood tests since I was started on the metformin. I've only seen positive OPK which I just assumed meant I am now ovulating, could this not be the case?! Xx

bananafish81 Tue 09-Aug-16 12:44:45

If you have PCOS then ovulation sticks can give false positives

If you've been put on metformin then that's often given for PCOS

Only a progesterone blood test can confirm if you have ovulated or not

Are your cycles longer than 35 days?

Littlemisssugarplum88 Tue 09-Aug-16 12:56:59

My cycles usually range between 28-33 days. Hopefully I'll get some answers at my gynae appointment, I honestly thought that a positive OPK meant that I had ovulated.
Perhaps the problem lies with me then xx

bananafish81 Tue 09-Aug-16 12:59:04

It usually does!! It's only if you have PCOS that if can be a false positive. If you have regular cycles then it sounds unlikely you aren't ovulating. You said you had irregular cycles but those are regular cycle lengths.

Littlemisssugarplum88 Tue 09-Aug-16 13:18:30

Yeah perhaps they are. It was more so the extremely heavy bleeding I was having during periods I went to the doctors originally (tmi I know but using super plus tampons every half an hour as well as night time pads during the day and still managing to leak). And obviously with not getting pregnant with not being on any contraception for 2 years (even though we haven't actually being ttc for that length of time, just if it happened it happened). So with all that considered, the doctor advised to do some blood tests.
I've had an internal scan which didn't show my ovaries have cysts on, but my blood tests apparently show PCOS. Xx

bananafish81 Tue 09-Aug-16 13:28:10

You need to have two out of three of the following to be diagnosed with PCOS

1. Irregular or absent periods
2. Clinical or biochemical signs of hyperandrogenism (in English - signs of elevated levels of male hormones, either elevated testosterone in your blood or outward signs like acne or facial hair
3. Polycystic ovaries on ultrasound

PCO isn't cysts - it's lots of follicles

But if you don't have PCO on ultrasound and you have regular periods I'm not sure that bloods alone would he enough to diagnose you with PCOS

PCOS only really affects fertility if you're not actually ovulating, or ovulating infrequently

If you're ovulating regularly then PCOS isn't really a fertility issue

Littlemisssugarplum88 Tue 09-Aug-16 13:36:54

I had blood tests on two consecutive months and both showed that I wasn't ovulating. I don't have any other symptoms other than heavy bleeding and not getting pregnant.
I'm not sure though that my consultant would have started me on metformin if he wasn't certain I had PCOS?! Xx

bananafish81 Tue 09-Aug-16 13:41:52

OK well then if you're not ovulating then there's your problem!

You said you thought you were ovulating because of the OPK

Then said you hadn't had any blood tests

Then have now said you've had blood tests that showed you haven't been ovulating and have PCOS

OPKs aren't reliable if you have PCOS

You can only rely on blood tests to confirm if you've ovulated

Which you've now said you've had

Which showed that you weren't ovulating

That would answer the fertility question!!

Littlemisssugarplum88 Tue 09-Aug-16 13:45:58

Ok I think maybe this has all got a little bit confusing lol.
So basically I had blood tests in December and in January which both showed I hadn't ovulated. I was referred to a gynae consultant and saw him April time. I've been taking metformin since then and haven't had any further blood tests.
I've been testing for ovulation at home using the sticks since I've been on metformin and for the last two months I've had positive sticks, which I assumed the metformin is working and I am now ovulating. But perhaps that isn't the case?!
Hope that makes a bit more sense xx

McBassyPants Tue 09-Aug-16 15:04:10

TBF if your DH won't even admit to having problems, is he really bothered about ttc?? Embarrassed or not, it's pretty damn selfish

Littlemisssugarplum88 Tue 09-Aug-16 15:22:45

Just been to our appointment and they confirmed his swimmers are all ok. I think because I am being treated on medication he knows the problem is me, rather than him, so he doesn't see it as a problem on his side xx

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now