TTC 4 years, nearly 40, can't afford private treatment, advice please?

(11 Posts)
picklepanshine Wed 09-Jan-13 09:45:08

Hi, as the subject says my clock is ticking. Brief history, we have been TTC for 4 years, had initial investigations 2 years ago, SA, bloods which showed normal. We were referred to specialist in another area as our PCT did not fund any infertility investigations/treatment at that time, however, they informed us that as DH has a DS from his first marriage we were not eligible for NHS funded treatment. We were sent away with a private prescription for Clomid and asked to come back for a scan and a cheque for £250 each month. The following month we had some serious financial issues and we delayed getting the prescription and starting the Clomid, then the month after and the month after that... to cut a long story short, the Consultant moved on to private practice, and we just decided to carry on trying naturally, get married and hopefully it would happen. 2 years on, and I've just found out that my Trust will now fund IVF for eligible couple and I am going to go and see my GP again to see if there are further tests etc. I don't want to get past 40 and think "if only we had done this, or tried this, or made that appt". I have asked for the NICE guidelines and Trust guidelines and will take them to my GP appt, but she is not very sympathetic and I feel I am going to be fobbed off by her.

There must be something wrong with me, I've had no internal scans and when I have a smear the nurse always comments saying I have tilted uterus or inverted?

Also, is it common practice for the Trust to check that we have children already? My DH has a child who we love dearly, but I want a baby. I want to be a mother, I want my husbands child.

I know that no amount of treatment is a guarantee, but at the moment I feel like there is no hope and at least if I push for something more then that gives us a slightly better chance?

I know I said brief, sorry, I got carried away, but I just wanted your thoughts on what to say to my GP, how to find out further information, who makes decisions about eligibility, is it worth not mentioning DH has a child, what other tests should I be asking for and if you think the fact that we had a chance 2 years ago and didn't follow it up will go against us?

Thanks for taking the time to read this grin

freelancescientist Wed 09-Jan-13 13:44:21

You can't hide the child unfortunately - your GP will need to refer you and that is something they are asked specifically about.
Eligibility is decided by the PCTs directly, and unless you have very special circumstances they stick to them rigidly in the current financial climate.
The only thing that will go against you with respect to delaying treatment for 2 years is the fact that you are now 2 years older. In my area (NW England) all funding ceases at your 40th birthday. They won't prioritise you either because of your age, you will just have to go through the process.

picklepanshine Wed 09-Jan-13 16:31:04

thanks freelance

Everything you say makes perfect sense, I wasn't thinking clearly earlier after having one of my usual CD1 panics. 50 months now with even a sniff of a BFP.
I'm really sad now.

picklepanshine Wed 09-Jan-13 16:32:04

thanks freelance

Everything you say makes perfect sense, I wasn't thinking clearly earlier after having one of my usual CD1 panics. 50 months now without so much as a sniff of a BFP.

I'm really sad.

freelancescientist Wed 09-Jan-13 18:25:12

So sorry - didn't want to give you false hope. In an ideal world people would get the treatment they needed without restrictions but we are a long way from that as far as fertility goes.
Ask your GP - some funding is sometimes available for tests and treatments like clomid without going 'all the way' to IVF. If you find yours unsympathetic is there another partner in the practice?

picklepanshine Thu 10-Jan-13 10:12:10

I will ask my GP. Like you say, although we might not go all the way to IVF, anything will give us that tiny bit more hope.

Slightly different angle, but I've been doing some research and came across this www.express.co.uk/posts/view/367445/Prisoners-claim-IVF-treatment-at-taxpayers-expense angry

I just feel like giving up, I'm so tired, it's been over 4 years now, every month is more draining than the last.

lozster Fri 11-Jan-13 12:13:56

Pickle, find out the number of your local pct and call them to establish what the rules are in your area. Don't rely on the GP to know. My pct were super helpful and efficient. I think they have a target of replying in 3 days or a week. Whilst I have heard of women being denied any fertility treatment due to existing children, it is more usual just to be denied ivf not any referral to a clinic. Treatment and diagnosis short of ivf is about general health not just conception.

It's also worth logging your history with the pct in case you can argue that your treatment/ investigation was delayed unfairly pushing you past 40. i had an nhs ivf round at 40 years 9 months as the hospital/pct agreed there had been a delay in my treatment. i know i was extremely lucky so i dont want to raise your hopes but you may gain peace of mind if you pursue all facts.

i feel your pain re: the link. If you feel strongly go over to fertility friends where there is a petition link under 'news'. Actually there is a forty plus thread there too that you may find useful. There are many women in your position where as on here there are fewer.

lozster Fri 11-Jan-13 12:19:49

Freelance - I am also northwest and prioritisation on age does happen in my area. Ok best not to rely on it, but it can happen. For any one else's information, if you can access, via your pct, more than one centre the wait list can be very different so it's worth finding this out before choosing where to go.

picklepanshine Fri 11-Jan-13 16:22:11

thanks lozster

I have just received an email from my PCT with some bedtime reading attached! They were very quick!

My moods are up and down so much at the moment, but I'm going to go and see my GP armed with these guidelines and see what she says!

lozster Fri 11-Jan-13 17:09:31

Yay! Chuffed for you. I only know this stuff because folks on here told me so I'm simply paying it forward. Good luck grin

Hoophopes Sat 26-Jan-13 19:20:02

Great you got the information. It is a postcode lottery - here you get one treatement of IVF after max of 6 IUI's with clomid before that if relevant to reason why infertile. But only if under 39, both non smokers, BMI under 30 and over 19 for both partners and no children (one child by one partner automatically rules out). That doesn't mean you can't get blood tests, a HSG etc here even if no treatment - so getting all the NHS tests and a diagnosis at least can help.

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