Mumsnet Talk

Interesting article here
Would you support it being made illegal?

I don't know much about it exept I have a friend who has been with her 1st cousin for years, not married but engaged.
After several failed attempts at IVF they have a daughter who has congenital myesthenia (sp?) (muscle fatigue) She is always in and out of hospital. She has nearly died so many times I've lost count. She's only 19 months old
I'm not saying it has anything to do with the cousin thing. No one will ever know.
It's so sad, the whole family's lives have been turned upside down

Except (obv)

I wouldn't support making it illegal, for a start how could they police that, it would be impossible. I do think the potential health consequences any children may suffer should be publicised more which is all the woman in the Times is asking for.

A very good friend of mine is married to his first cousin, they have decided not to have any children though.

no I wouldn't support it being made illegal but I'd like to see a whole load more educating about the potential health risks, particularly when it is common in a community so you have first cousins marrying each other through a number of generations - recipe for disaster. many people are completely unaware of the possible health risks involved.

i think the genetic register would be a far better idea than making it illegal and stigmatising it further

if it is of huge cultural significance in certain areas and communities, outlawing it is not a great idea. it will simply be pushed underground, but a genetic database/register would certainly help as the issue is the possible congenital problems that can ensure

* ensue, not ensure !

I have two lots of cousins married in my family, well sort of. One lot is distantly related to me by marriage, they are in their late 50s now and they got married decades ago. Their son is fine and dandy, no problems.

The other set is closer, my cousin is marrying her cousin on the other side in the summer. They are both intelligent people, have researched till they are blue in the face but could find no evidence to suggest it wasn't a good idea. Neither set are in the racial group that she talks about. All white, one lot CofE, the other lot Irish Catholic. None of them grew up together or particularly knew each other as children.

So no, I don't support a ban on cousins marrying. Besides, what the hell does that do to couples that are already married? Better to address the arranged marriages that she talks about than have a blanket ban.

But it is morally wrong isn't it?
I mean, whether you grew up together or not, they are a relative

Only a distant one in terms of genes, we're not talking brothers and sisters here. And no, I don't think it's morally wrong. I couldn't contemplate it, I am very close to all of my cousins but that's what makes the difference for me.

I only have one male cousin and we had holidays together and everything, it would feel wrong to me to even consider being with him.

I don't think cousins is the problem? Look ahead a few years, think sperm banks and baby fathers you will have siblings married and having children together...

Do you find it strange that these communities have lots of opportunity to mix, even within the Pakistani community, yet 75% are marrying first cousins...

I worked in a community for whom this was a very common practice. The instances of genetic disorders where significantly higher than in other areas I'd worked. Everything from cystic fibrosis, birth problems, mental handicaps to polydactylism. First cousins marrying, then their offspring marrying first cousins. Some families, everyone had the same face, like Russian dolls.
Why?
Keeps the clan linked closely, no marrying beneath your station, money and property circulate within it rather than leaving the family, less scary and worrying than marrying a stranger, obligations can be paid off.
There must be dozens of other reasons that practitioners could give.
Hard to ban, better to educate and keep a register to try and reduce the problem.

It's legal in Scotland to marry first cousins, but I've never come across anyone who has done so.

My paternal grandparents were first cousins, and I'm alright!

<<twitches>>

The problems really show up in a small community of a couple of thousand over a couple of decades. Marrying your first cousin, no big deal. Imagine it happening for 75% of relationships within a small group and through two generations.

Its true about my Grandparents, btw!

Do you really think it's no big deal?
I mean, I know some people really fancy their cousins but they stop themselves talking it further

Interesting, GoblinChild, but it must be known that genetically it is hazardous for the children

Never doubted it for a second.
My family is from Edinburgh btw...

I had a brief fling with a second cousin. It was fun but it did feel a bit wierd. We only met as children once or twice and then met at surprise surprise a big family wedding and got together there.

Luckily we didn't fall in love so it wasn't complicated.

It's unlikely to be a significant medical issue for one set of cousins to marry, unless you have genetic abnormalities in the family and haven't been tested for them.

Oh, and in the community I worked in?
It was God's will, or a punishment, or possession by a djinn. Like epilepsy.
It could be fought by wearing holy scripture round the neck and praying, If it didn't work, that was because you were a bad person and had upset God.

How awful

As a cultural practice, repeated across generations, it's not a good idea from a health point of view - that's definitely something that could do with more targetted education etc.

To say it's morally wrong is an odd view though.