So, if you'll pour hot wax onto your privates - how far would you go?
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(22 Posts)
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I didn't contribute to [http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/2724/852877-to-think-that-Brazilian-waxes-are-NOT-the-norm-Or this] thread on pubic hair presentation as everything I said would have been hypocrytical. I am in my 30s and am shocked by the Times article for not ridiculing the saddo man who had never seen a real woman. I am also of the brigade that thinks that a society that suddenly decides women should be hair free is bowing to pressure from pornographers and playing into the hands of paedophiles. BUT I realise that you can't say that to an individual and the contrary arguments are persuasive - that some women do it for their own pleasure - and that under arm hair is no different. So I'm a hypocrite. I have never had underarm hair - I shaved off the very first sprouts as a child. I don't have the guts to say I am all woman and grow it out - no way!
So whilst shocked I thought I should be tolerant of people's choices.
And then the truth hits me. If I was 20 and knew that even a small majority of my peers waxed their genitals - I would too. I am a sheep and the fear of being ridiculed for the appearance of my genitals is a strong motivating factor. (Can you imagine rumours quickly spreading around uni campus about the "ape girl")...god - how humiliating!
But then I kept thinking:
Hypothetically - what if this were next:
A fashion starts in the porn industry where someone (when having a labial reduction) is offered a tuck as well as a nip. Just a tiny one to pull together the labia at the entrance to the vagina. Penetration is a little trickier and everything is a bit tighter as a result. Turns out to be very popular with the viewers so the porn stars all have it done. Next thing you know the boys expect it and the girls comply for fear of rumours about them being "untidy" or "baggy" down below. "As if" I hear you cry. That's what my generation would have said all of 10 years ago about having bald vulvas....
Then you'll get some horrified mumsnet thread saying "
is this normal?" and some young women come on and say it enhances their sexual pleasure too or made them feel neater so they did it for themselves. That's hard to argue against.
So then what'll we tell our daughters?
Where will it stop?
Will feminists of the future be caricatured as having untidy genitals as opposed to the hairy armpits of the 70s?
I'm not saying that a bit of hair removal is the same as genital mutilation. I'm just asking what you would do if there was peer pressure to take things a step further?
Maybe I'm odd, but I just dislike body hair. I shave pretty much everything, for a while I even used to shave my eyebrows off. None of it is done for men (for the most part they don't notice or care), it's mainly for how it feels. Have any of you ever shaved your legs then put on something silky and thought how nice it felt against smooth skin? It's that for me. It's also hygiene.
For me personally (and I apologise if this is TMI) I have a genital piercing and used to have two. Being clean shaven down there feels far far more hygienic.
And no the piercings weren't there for men, the pleasure is all mine ;)
You sound like a big thinker MillyR
I don't really see a difference between hair in the pubic area and underarm hair.
If I am going to be doing quite a bit of swimming, I get some pubic hair removed (but not a Brazillian) with wax at the Beautician's and shave my arm pits at home.
But equally if I am really busy I will not do my bikini line or my armpits, or bother to pluck my very bushy eyebrows, and I do walk around in public showing both my brows and armpits in a hairy state.
So to me there is no real difference between arms and bikini line. Neither is a big deal to show, or to remove.
It really just depends how much time I've got free. The same applies to wearing make up.
I get my legs waxed susie100, but my fanny is private ykwim? I refuse to wax off hair that would only be seen by somebody I was having sex with.
If having a hairy fanny was a deal-breaker, then I shouldn't be having sex with that person anyway.
No, it's not that - I hate my hairy arms/legs/fill-in-at-leisure as well, and actually like the smooth feeling of just shaven legs etc. It's just that I think some people do it (whether "it" be wax or surgery, it doesn't really make that much difference in my books) for the wrong reasons. Well, in my books anyway.
I am only the one that does not like excessive hair? I think hairy legs look awful. If I did not sort myself out I would have a thigh carpet. Seriously.
The funny thing is hearing men's opinion on this. I've had this conversation (ops, general appearance etc etc - didn't go into the actual "so exactly
how naked do you like your women"
) with some of my male friends before, and the general consensus seems to be that when they're young (and stupid
), they are all for the flashy plastic-y girls to hang around with, but when it comes to marrying them or settling down, they go for "normal" women - nice, funny, kind. Cosmetic appearances matter far less to men than to women, in my opinion.
Though - I say "cosmetic", but mean the extreme type. Of course not many people will find someone who slobs around all day attractive, but you can be beautiful and natural at the same time. <<off to brush hair fearing that the slobbing thing might scare dh off eventually
>>
<stands in hairy-fanjo'd solidarity next to kreecher>
The strength and range of women's self-loathing towards their bodies is so disturbing. Seems there's always something to hate and fixate upon. It also keeps female identity closely bound up with the physical, making it much easier for any interested party to disregard our intellect and personalities.
Having said that, of course I don't think that every woman who waxes her flange is doing so from profound patriarchal oppression. Hot wax has never touched my bits but I do shave my legs and armpits when I can be bothered. This is mostly personal preference but I'd be lying if I said peer pressure had never played a part - as a teen I had friends on one side saying 'oh you must shave your legs, everyone's doing it' and my mum's friends on the other saying 'NEVER remove your body hair, you're only doing it because men want you to, be proud in your hairy femininity instead'. It was very confusing
Not really sure what point I was trying to make there
hear hear!
I am saddened by the number of women who hate their bodies. Or, maybe not their whole body, but they see themselves as just the sum of the parts. And they break themselves down to a list of components and they have every separate bit graded and compared with perfection.
I agree with wahwah- the attitude to underarm hair should indeed serve as a warning. Think what we are really doing, and how that would look from the outside. I haven't shaved my armpits or any other part of me since I was a teenager and consider myself perfectly tidy and hygienic. And as someone mentioned on the other thread would be a bit shocked by any man- esp of my generation- who really expressed a pref for naked fanjo. Yuch.
But it's also true, and troubling, that many young women com;pare themselves not to each other (bad enough) but to 'glamourous' women in media- forgetting that their images are always digitally enhanced and nit acheivable.
Reclaim the adult female body, I say.
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