Porn and the sexualisation of our children

[RoomForALittleOne]

I came across this article www.telegraph.co.uk/women/sex/9828589/Children-and-the-culture-of-pornography-Boys-will-ask-you-every-day-until-you-say-yes.html yesterday and I was shocked. Our eldest is 5 so I wasn't aware that porn had become such a big problem for and influence in our children.

I'd love to hear some views on this. In light of this article, I can't believe that people objected to the automatic block on porn unless you ask for it to be available. Would it really be so awful to 'compromise' access to porn in order to protect our under 18's? Are adults that selfish that their 'need' for instant access porn is more important than protecting our children?

[RoomForALittleOne]

I was trying to multi-task too much.

www.telegraph.co.uk/women/sex/9828589/Children-and-the-culture-of-pornography-Boys-will-ask-you-every-day-until-you-say-yes.html

[hiddenhome]

People want a liberal society and that's what they've got. No use complaining now

[RoomForALittleOne]

I think it is worth complaining now! At some point things will get so bad that the country will need to re-gain some morals and a bit of back-bone! Besides, it would be easier to change things before they get even worse...

[hiddenhome]

I agree with you, but nobody wants morals. The populous has had a taste of freedom and they're not going to want to give it up. Object to online porn and you get Mary Whitehouse shouted at you

[RoomForALittleOne]

If it were up to me, I would ban porn. We managed to live without extreme hardcore videos of porn being instantly and freely available for centuries so we can live without it! The damage that it causes children is irreversible. Once they've seen porn you can't erase it from their memory. Not to mention the damage that it causes to marriages or the defenceless women who are trafficked to produce porn. Also, did you know that there is an ever increasing number if men in their 20's and 30's who can only gain an erection when watching porn because that's what their brain is hard wired to do after watching it frequently. I bet porn is a whole lot less appealing when you can't actually have sex because you've watched so much porn.

[RoomForALittleOne]

Lockets I am shocked and outraged by the cover-up of 8 year olds getting hold of porn. It must be very distressing for you. I wonder what sort of message the parents think they are sending their children? Porn is a normal part of life and we won't do anything if you watch it?

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

I think prohibition is generally a bad way of dealing with anything. I grew up in the 70's and well remember the excitement & curiosity caused when one of the kids found a stash of girlie mags under some Dad's bed. It may not have been live and on-line but it was certainly present. There has always been pressure on children (all genders) to be sexually active before they are ready.

I think education is a better solution to prohibition. Talking about sex, taking the mystique out of sexual matters, busting some of the porn-industry myths and being open about personal relationships and concepts such as respect and self-respect. Building resilience rather than relying on ignorance protecting children.

[FlouncingMintyy]

I think censorship is a good thing (or at least the liberal censorship we have in this country) and similarly cannot get my head round why we campaign to put magazines like Nuts on the Top Shelf but films with titles like "Asian bitch slut gets butt raped" is two clicks away on the internet. Remarkable double standards imvho.

However there have been many long threads on Mumsnet about the filtering of pornography at source and the "antis" always win the argument.

[CardiffUniversityNetballTeam]

^^what Cogito said.

Rather than trying to ban or suppress pornography perhaps it is most important to teach young boys to respect young girls, and most importantly to provide young girls with the tools and knowledge to respect themselves and their bodies.

Decent, effective, well thought out sex education for young people in schools and in the community would go a long way.

[Annamaria0]

It's all very well talking about sex education and teaching respect, but the fact is, it is not going to help much if a 7 or an 8-year-old has already seen some shocking images - and they are almost always the most extreme, as it seems that most porn now is very hard-core, and it is always the most shocking images that get passed around a playground. I want to know what happened to the initiative about having to actively opt IN, if you wanted your ISP (Internet Service Provider) pipe endless, often violent, porn into your home? At the moment, you have porn on tap, whether you want it or not, and even if you are IT-savvy and set up all the safety features, it is very hard to make sure that a child doesn't get accidentally exposed. For example, if you are searching for "Ancient Rome" for a school project, you can easily come across some "Roman orgies" porn, depicting very graphic group sex. What on Earth are we doing, letting our children be exposed to such material before they even had their first kiss? 15-year-olds get Brazilians and feel that they have to consent to anal sex - it is all to do with availability of porn.

[Curiosa]

Surprised this summer how many mums were lying on beach reading 50 shades of Grey while their partners played with the kids!!

[JoanByers]

You absolutely cannot compare kids passing round a dog-eared magazine the 70s, or even more recently the pneumatic models in the likes of FHM and Loaded, with instant access to unlimited hardcore pornography - women being penetrated by three men at once, bestiality, and so forth.

[Phil1972]

Porn is great. If you are old and mature enough.

Porn is evil and warping if you're not.

Problem 100% is accessability and prevelance of porn through society. With internet, tablets, smartphones etc, etc, etc it's a real worry.

Technology created the problem, technology should be made to come up with the solution. If there was profit to be had, they would, society wants it and needs it. Maybe all issued with a serial number and retinal recognition so no pron could be accessed until you are say 18.... Mmmm Look out dragons den, I'm a comming!!

[vess]

Teaching kids to have respect and all that will not solve the problem porn creates.

[MurderOfGoths]

"I'd love to hear some views on this. In light of this article, I can't believe that people objected to the automatic block on porn unless you ask for it to be available. Would it really be so awful to 'compromise' access to porn in order to protect our under 18's? Are adults that selfish that their 'need' for instant access porn is more important than protecting our children?"

There are lots of long and detailed threads on here about why the porn block is a nice idea but utterly impractical, flawed and likely to cause more harm than good.

[Writehand]

Those who post that porn should be banned need to appreciate that this is no longer possible. Sure, you can censor print materials, but you cannot effectively censor the Internet. You can stop porn being hosted on servers in countries which agree to a ban, but if even one country won't play ball you're screwed. And there are loads of countries happy to host extreme porn.

As for phones.. You have a phone camera, you take a photo, you send it. There's no practical way to stop it. And loads of kids well under 16 take photos of their own bodies and send them to other kids. Or adults. Or adults they think are kids...

The only answer, for a parent, is to talk it out with your DCs. That means early for me it was 11 and frank. Very frank. The images out there are gross, and none of the commercial software which claims to be able to block porn from your family PC works. If you don't believe me, try it. Your DCs will have bypassed it in 24 hours if they're motivated.

I wrote a long post about this a month or two back about how I handled it with my DS, who was really upset by what he'd seen. He was so relieved when he realised that aggressive threesomes weren't mandatory.