Mumsnet Talk

...and I feel shaken and so, so bloody angry.

It's here

DS is fine, he left cubs before the bloke was arrested and has not been abused by anyone in any way, but he could have been and that's scarey.

And the other helpers, those lovely volunteers.

He said they made it all up.

Bastard.

GrimlesMother - bloody hell!! Glad your son is OK.

Arrogant bastard.

Awful.
Thank goodness he was caught.
One of my junior school teachers ( a scoutmaster and choirmaster too) was jailed in the seventies for the same thing.

I don't know why I'm on here carping on about it, I'm sure it seems as though I'm attention-seeking through association, but I just keep going over little things and thinking "shit".

Like the time DS wet himself on camp and this bloke helped him sort himself out. And the time I arrived to collect DS only find him coming out of the boys loos with this bloke and a couple of other boys. Apparently they were doing some home maintenance badge or summat and he was showing them where the stopcock is.

Bloody hell, that's kind of making me giggle. It's like Carry On Scouting or something.

Please don't shout troll.

DS is very open and I'm absolutely confident he wasn't hurt in any way, but I trusted this man to look after him.

And I keep thinking back to the other helpers. They must feel soooo let down. Unimaginable really.

Grimbles - keep talking... you must be haunted by this pervert, and going over everything in your mind you can think of. Yeah, and what the hell was he doing in the loos! It's outrageous and ludicrous at the same that he was in a position of trust. You must be furious. I'd personally want to punch him in his so called kindly trustworthy [not] face!!

Fucking hell grimbles, its no wonder you're shaken up! Men like him don't have an easy time in prison so that's one small thing to be thankful for.

He was sentenced today

What makes me feel angry, one of the things, is that all along he has claimed that those poor victims made it all up, that it was a "complete invention". I saw him in the supermarket with his teenaged daughter just a couple of weeks ago, his poor family stood by him all the way. His wife fled the courtroom in tears when the verdict was delivered.

I saw it on the news that he'd got 15 years. Good job!

Grimbles - yes, the 'complet invention' claim was particularly wicked.

The wife sounds irritating - fleeing the court in tears. Probably not tears for the victims.

Good God.

Wasn't there a case a few years back with a man who dressed up as a Thomas the Tank Engine character on a railway messing with children? It rally really put me off going on those bloody steam trains.

Just thinking about the Thomas thing.
I thunk we may have encountered him (not to that extent) but just stood near him on a steam engine with dd1 (who was only little and was held by dh at all times). But I seem to have severe memory loss and can't remember anything else.

Shit. That must be really scary for you, even though you know (thank heavens) that your ds is OK.

One of dh's old teachers was in the nationals after admitting raping some of dh's classmates at senior school. Horrible. Thankfully didn't go near dh. At least the police and schools and the Scouts take it seriously these days -turned out the head back in dh's day merely allowed the pervert to leave wtih a 'gentleman's agreement' that he'd never teach again. Hushed it all up. Man was not reported - only decades later when one of the then-adult victims couldn't live with it any more.

Grimbles, how horrible. I am not at all surprised you are feeling highly disturbed by this - no end of 'what ifs'.

It shakes our world to find that what we thought was safe was not.

What a bastard.

I think it's highly probable his wife didn't suspect a thing, I think she really believed he was innocent, I feel very sorry for his family.

Or maybe she was in denial, I think I can understand that.

Blu, that's it exactly

Vent away Grimbles, you have my sympathy... similar thing happened to my DH with a headteacher; he wasn't touched but again lots of thinking by my PIL about what might have happened.

Would you explain the 'troll' thing? I've never really understood it but seen many references to 'troll hunting' and then your comment above got me thinking again. Sorry to put in that off the subject request.

I have no sympathy for the wife because he was already conficted. Today was just the sentence. So why did she flee the court in tears??

Probably tears of self pity for herself - and most definately not tears for the kids he abused. If they were tears for the kids - she would have shed them before today - and would have woooped for joy that he got 15 years - his just desserts!!

That's harsh, animation.

Mate of mine reported on the trial of a man who had killed his first wife. Her body had never been found, so he'd got away with it. Years later, she was found, and he was put on trial. His second wife believed in him, believed his story, absolutely fell for it and was in bits when he was convicted - she was so convinced he was innocent.

Lucky for her he didn't try the same trick twice, really.

I've confused you Animation, she fled the court in tears on the day he was found guilty. I don't know whether she was there for the sentencing.

She hasn't been found guilty of anything, she's a victim too.

All about trolling for EmmaCate. MNers are always on the hunt for trolls, it's a kind of sport

If it helps (and it probably doesn't) two of the men that ran completely different youth activities I was involved in were banged up for exactly the same thing. One was employed by the school to run school trips (he also ran 'community' rock climbing camps which I used to go on regularly tenting miles from anywhere) and a guy through the ATC who also ran outdoor activities. I didn't see, hear, suspect anything, so it's likely that ds is the same.

I know you know that.

Shocking, but sadly not unusual. All kids need to know what to do and how to react and who to tell. But then we just have to get on with it and keep our fingers crossed.

The bloke was conficted of 33 sexual offences. You could understand the wife being in denial over one or two - but not 33! She didn't believe the kids and didn't help their plight, so no sympathy for her whatsoever.

But he's an expert manipulator. It's what he does.

Thanks outofbody.

DS is utterly shellshocked, so at least I know nothing happened to trouble him whilst he was with the group.

"But he's an expert manipulator. It's what he does."

That's very true, and he has no conscience or remorse, and probably a psychopath.

That doesn't make me feel sorry for the wife or think of her as a victim in the same way the kids are. She chose NOT to hear their complaints or accounts of what happened and she chose to stay with him. Kids don't lie about this kind of thing - and any adult that refuses to hear a child in a situation like this is betraying them. All adults are responsible for protecting children - whether or not they happen to be inadequate or married to a psychopath.

Animation, you are making a lot of assumptions there.

She even took the stand to support his account of events. Why did she do that? Such actions made things a lot harder for those kids. Luckyly they won their case and justice was done - but she sure as hell didn't help.